Micro-Rewards

After being at home in NJ for two weeks, I was reunited with my car today, and after small group, I snapped my phone into the phone holder thing, and started driving home. As I was driving, a feeling crept into my mind - I felt like I was missing out on getting credit for something. I thought perhaps I was momentarily mistaken that I should get Fitbit steps for driving. Then I realized - I was missing out on getting Waze points. 

It’s interesting how I have grown accustomed to getting credit for everything I do in my life, from walking to driving. While I’m sure there’s some fancy psychological term for these minute, meaningless points, I’ll call them “micro-rewards” (I fully expect to collect some royalty on this term in some point in the future). Whether it’s Fitbit, Waze, Bing Rewards, credit card points, or Yogurtland card points, the expectation for receiving a reward for everything I do seems to have engrained itself in my head. 

Expecting recognition and reward for every deed accomplished seems so petty, but if I’m honest to myself, that’s how I often view work and spirituality. While rewards (monetary and otherwise) are an integral part of a healthy motivation of work, it really shouldn’t be the driving motivation for me, and I should not get upset if there are things that I do that are not recognized or rewarded. This temptation towards entitlement and applause is even more dangerous in relation to God, and I hope that I’m not living to rack up “God points” which are redeemable at my death. Rather, that all my good deeds would be driven by a pure love for God which is self-sacrificing and doesn’t demand a constant ticker of micro-rewards. 

God and the Expectation of Change

[I've recently been listening to an RC Sproul lesson series called The Consequences of Ideas, which is a survey on the history of philosophy. There is a lot of thought-provoking material presented, as any good philosophy course would contain, so I might post more reflections from the lessons in the future.]

Heraclitus was a pre-Socratic philosopher who believed that whatever is is changing (universal flux) and is the original source of the common saying, "You could not step twice into the same river." RC Sproul noted that Heraclitus is often credited with being the ancient father of modern existentialism, as the denial of anything that is fixed, changeless, absolute, or eternal can be traced back to the universal flux that Heraclitus championed.

I'm not going to pretend like I'm some expert on universal flux or existentialism (this post is actually only remotely related to those ideas), but it does seem to me that we live in a day where change is idealized and sometimes even idolized. From evolutionary and progressive worldviews, change is necessary for the betterment of society and the human race as a whole, and staying still and not changing (see: conservatives) holds us back from the better potential that could be achieved. From a more personal standpoint, we (especially as young people) see both internal and external change as necessary for maturation and personal growth. Not changing is often a sign of professional or intellectual ineptitude or personal immaturity.

Thus, I believe that we, young and educated people especially, have a certain expectation of change for all aspects of life. We anticipate technological advancement, participate in social justice movements, and engage in personal development and spiritual formation efforts. This expectation of change causes tension in the way that we view religion and ultimately the way that we view God. Just like past societal problems and technology, religious views, doctrines, and "interpretations" that are obsolete and out-dated ought to be amended for the betterment of the religion and its followers. After all, in our eyes, the age of a text or a belief do not solidify its meaning and reliability - it detracts from it.

Moreover, God himself ought to change, if he indeed was the author of such antiquated beliefs. He's already changed from being the grumpy, vengeful tyrant of the Old Testament to the loving, gracious benevolent ruler in the New Testament, hasn't he? Is it not expected that God would continue to change as society advances and sheds God's old laws in search for newer, better rules that fit?

I truly believe that in our idealization of progress and change, we have found it increasingly difficult to come to terms with the fact that God and His laws do not change. We have a harder time grasping the idea of perfection (as if it was easy to begin with) and how perfection is unchanging. What does it mean that God doesn't change? What does it mean that His law doesn't change? Do we really believe that God is perfect? Do we believe that His law is perfect? Is it really true that God couldn't be a better God, and what does that mean for all of the suffering in the world? Must something be unchanging to be perfect? Or does something need to change to remain perfect? How do God's immutability and perfection relate to one another?

There are some questions that I think that we young, progressive-leaning Christians ought to spend some time meditating on, lest we be swept up in the storms of public opinion and personal doubt without having solid foundation to stand upon.

Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

Related Posts

Is Substitutionary Atonement Unjust
Louie Giglio and "Thought Crime"

Thoughts on "Judgementalism"

Becoming Discontent in 7 Easy Steps

Are you tired of being happy with your life? Sick of living an anxiety-life? Worry about your worrylessness no more! Here's 7 easy steps to living a perpetually discontent life, a process I personally perfected after a honeymoon-like week of hanging out with old friends July 4th week, where my yearning for deep community (and other less honorable desires) was rekindled and set ablaze. All the suppressed dissatisfaction with my life ate away at my heart, and I found myself coveting the lives of some of my old friends and dreaming of my own imaginary perfect future.

And so here, free of charge (for the first 30 days), is this 7-step EZ-Discontentment system. Enjoy.

1. Create a mental picture of your unattainable ideal life.
   
   
2. Compare yourself to other people, especially people that seem to be living a better life than you.
   
   
3. Think about all the possessions you don't have and all the experiences you're missing out on.
   
   
4. Puff yourself up and list the things you think you deserve but don't have at the moment.
   
   
5. Ignore the blessings in your life and the struggles of others.
   
   
6. Neglect your relationship with Jesus.
   
   
7. Repeat daily.

Missing Memories

[Sort of a meta-note: Look for me to update here more than I have the last few months, mainly because I need something to occupy the time I used to spend exercising.]

For some reason, yesterday night as I laid in bed before I fell asleep, I was trying to remember what my high school was like. I tried to remember where my homeroom was, where my classes were, and where my lockers were. And for the life of me, I couldn't. I tried to walk my brain through the hallways of the school as I tried to piece together the random memories I still had of MHS, but I was coming up blank.

And just like the crybaby I seem to have become these last few weeks, I got really emotional that I could barely remember the building that I spent 4 years walking through. To be honest, I wasn't really sure why it made me so upset that I couldn't remember anything about my high school, as I barely even reminisce on my  high school experience. Being really tired probably contributed to it, along with the fact that I had just watched Spirited Away again before going to bed. After all, I certainly didn't want to lose the memory of who I was and become a slave to Ubaba forever! I guess the lingering emotions from the movie compounded with late-night irrationality made my incomplete recall feel like I had lost a part of myself that could never recover again. [Actually this fear of the irretrievability of thoughts is the reason I started my blog! Check out my first post ever!]

After I spent a few minutes lamenting my missing memories, I decided to test myself and to see if I could mentally walk through different places, like my house, MCCC, and how to get to ShopRite and Maggie's house from back home. It's actually quite amazing how the brain is able to be it's own little Google Maps, complete with StreetView and everything. And I tried again to do a walkthrough of Manalapan High, but I just couldn't piece together a full picture. I would mentally walk through a hallway, only to reach its end, staring into a black void that my brain's Google Maps refused to load. I tried to recall how I got to key locations of the school such as the auditorium, gym, and cafeteria, but as before, the dots just wouldn't connect.

It's a weird feeling - knowing that you once knew something but no longer know it at all and have no hope of remembering it again (making it significantly different from the "tip of the tongue" experience). And it's kind of scary acknowledging that my memory of things past - of who I was and what I did - will continue to fade as I grow older. It really does feel like you're losing pieces of yourself little by little, and there's really not much you can do to stop those memories from fading. I wonder if after we die, we will have our memories fully restored and will be able to watch our lives back in rewind. I know that we will need to give an accounting for all that we do in our lives, but I can't say for certain if we will carry those memories with us in eternity. And really, I don't even know if would want to.

What do you guys think? Will we have a fully self-enlightened consciousness and recall the things before death or will we be so busy chilling with Jesus that we don't even bother remembering the things of this world?

My Pro-Life Defense on Reddit - My Stance

As you may have seen on my Facebook, I posted in on reddit in response to the question/prompt: 

Okay conservatives, post your rational arguments that we constantly bury here. I won't downvote any of them. Hopefully others will follow suit.

[Here's the link] of my response and the literally hundreds of follow-up comments. In this post, I'm going to outline some of the basics of my stance on abortion, and will continue to clarify my position further in future posts.

Introduction
As I began responding to the hundreds of responses I got, my stance on abortion became increasingly clear to me. Believe it or not, I was largely unconvinced that abortion was wrong until only a few months ago. To me, the Biblical support that the soul begins at conception is shaky and unconvincing. Not only that, I objected to the idea that abortion is murder and that those who have abortion are murderers, because to me, a genuine belief in this morally justified things like the bombing of abortion clinics or the murder of doctors who perform abortions. Also, if abortion truly was murder, why don't the anti-abortion conservative evangelicals care more about the issue? I just didn't believe that the pro-life rhetoric that abortion is murder was genuinely reflected in their belief systems or in their actions. All this paired with the lack of any sort of emotional attachment to "clumps of cells", I could not bring myself to accept the pro-life side.

So as I began writing back to my millions of fans around the world, my stance became solidified. To me, these stances are coherent and internally consistent, and it seemed like many of the pro-choice people were satisfied with many of my answers. That said, some of my beliefs are non-traditional, especially for an evangelical Christian. I haven't really run these arguments by many Christians, so tell me what you think.

Abortion is a violation of human rights.
The following is the response that I submitted, to which I got over a 1,500 upvotes and hundreds of responses. This line of thought came to me as I was reading about William Wilberforce in the book Amazing Grace (thanks, Knox!). I thought to myself, "How could they not see Africans as people too? Shouldn't it be so obvious?" I've actually never heard someone give the following argument, and from some of the responses I got (which I will post later), it seems like it's the first time that others may have heard it as well.

"I think abortion is a violation of human rights. I'm actually a little surprised that most progressives are so adamantly pro-abortion, as I think it's actually the next human rights hurdle that needs to be overcome. In Roman times, infantacide was common, because children were perceived to be property of their parents, without rights for themselves. Now, we recognize the personhood of children, and killing children is universally accepted as morally wrong. Two hundred years ago, slaves were considered as the property of their owners, and had no human rights. Killing a slave was merely just destroying something that you owned. Now, it's nearly universally accepted that those slaves were persons, and deserved their own human rights.
Which brings us to today. I understand the argument that a woman should be able to do what she wants with her body and I agree with it, so long as it does not infringe on the basic human right of life of someone else. I know that all (if not most) pro-choice people out there do not consider a fetus as a human life, deserving of human rights (if so, I don't think you would be pro-choice!). However, 200 years ago, slave owners viewed slaves as sub-human, as did parents to children even longer before that. Slave owners would have objected that they should have the right to do what they wanted to their property. 

Yes, I understand that infantacide, slavery, and abortion are all different issues, with different societal implications and cultural nuances. However, the point is that we see in history that society has progressed to recognize various "peoples/groups" to be persons deserving of human rights, and I think/hope that the same will be true for unborn babies. These changes come not only with legislation, but with a general shift in thinking. It goes much deeper than just politics to general worldview. 

Progressives have led us in the fight for human rights in so many different areas, and it is a little surprising to me (and a little sad) that for the most part, they aren't also fighting for human rights in the realm of abortion. 

Edit: sorry for using "pro-abortion". It is a poor choice of words, and should be "pro-choice" instead."

A baby's personhood begins at conception
This is the underlying assumption I hold. I will elaborate more on this in the next post, but I just wanted to make this clear.

The moral heinousness of aborting a baby and murdering an adult are NOT the same.
I do not believe that aborting an unborn baby is of the same moral weight as murdering an adult or even of the same weight as murdering a born baby. So while it could technically fit the dictionary definition of murder, I think that the word "murder" is too loaded and has moral implications that I do not think necessarily apply to abortion. You may object that if it is essentially the same action of ending the life of a person, it should carry the same moral weight. Here's an argument against this that I posted -

I think that two identical actions with two different subjects/victims can hold different moral weight. For example - adult rape is morally wrong, but in my mind, raping a 2-year old (and it does happen), is indescribably worse. Another example would be robbing the house of a rich person and stealing $1000 of cash seems "less wrong" than knowingly stealing $1000 from a poor family. From many perspectives, the crime is the same, and both are morally wrong (taking this at face value), but one seems to carry more moral weight than the other. 

This of course does not add to the idea that abortion is less morally weighty than murder of a toddler, but it feels that way, and that's the best I can give you at the moment. I need to give it a little more thought, but I hope this kind of gives you some of my premises and framework of thought.

As I mentioned above, I have a real problem with the implications of considering abortion as morally equal to the murder of an adult. Would it be morally justifiable to murder an abortion doctor, who may have "technically" murdered hundreds of people? Would it be morally justifiable to treat those who have abortions as true murderers? In my opinion, no. However, most pro-choice people don't consider it any sort of moral transgression if a baby is aborted before the third trimester, and I've found this observation of different moral "weights" is a reasonable, appealing one. The abortion has been framed in such a polarizing way, where abortion is either murder, and mass genocide is happening, or there hasn't been any moral transgression at all. I find this to be unnecessarily polarizing, and I believe there is a middle ground.

Should abortion be criminalized in the US? 
As in all things, I believe that Christians should not put hope in any legislation to be the solution, and I really don't believe that an all-out ban on abortion is the solution, at least right now. I don't actually think that the legislation is the root problem at all. If we ask ourselves, "Why are people having abortions? What is the root cause?", I don't think it's possible to just point at Roe v Wade and say, "If that law wasn't passed, no one would be having abortions right now." There are various root causes, ranging from poverty to inadequate sex education to a disregard for the unborn. All of these need to be addressed.

That said, do I believe that abortion should be criminalized? First of all, I don't think it ever will. I don't believe that Roe v. Wade will ever be overturned, so I think it is somewhat futile framing the debate in such all-or-nothing terms. That said, given a choice, I don't think that the US is ready for a ban of abortion, especially in how people in the country view abortion. It was brought up multiple times that abortion rates go down in countries that legalize it fully, and that abortions remain common in countries that criminalize it. Until abortion is widely seen as more of a last resort, I don't think banning abortion will necessarily have the desired effects that so many pro-life people hope for. In addition, I feel like there are just too many special cases that may make abortion morally justifiable, which makes legislation even more difficult to write and pass.

However, passing legislation to curb abortions is still beneficial, as it does help shape the culture. A great example of this is the ban of third-trimester abortions, where tons of the liberals that responded agreed that this was a necessary restriction on abortion. So just in summary, I believe that legislation is one answer, but not the answer, and the pro-life movement needs to bring answers to some of the other root problems that cause abortion.

The pro-life should be truly pro-life, not just anti-abortion.
You will not believe how many people asked about my stance on universal healthcare,
war, and capital punishment. While my stances on those issues does not have a real bearing on the validity of my arguments, people just wanted to make sure that I was holding an internally consistent worldview.

I think it's very important for pro-life people to be pro-life, not just pro-unborn-life. One of the major complaints that I read over and over is how the same conservatives who claimed a regard for the unborn showed no regard for the lives of the poor or the lives of soldiers. While I think all of these issues are more nuanced than simply being pro-everything, we really need to think about whether or not we display a sufficient care for the poor, the elderly, and people in other areas of the world where we are invading.

Below is one of my responses to a question about the pro-life movement.

I totally agree with you that we need to address why unplanned pregnancies happen. The pro-life movement has yet to show an appropriate concern to these issues along with an appropriate concern for those who are stuck making the difficult decision of whether or not to keep their baby. 

That said, I don't think it's an either-or thing w.r.t more restrictive legislation. I believe that it's a both-and thing. But yeah. The pro-life movement (along with all of us citizens of the world) needs to pay more attention to the root cause.

So this concludes my first post. What are your thoughts? Do you have objections? I hope some of you do. Because I've been thinking through the holes and perceived holes in my arguments and have tried to formulate counterarguments for them.

Coming up next - When does personhood begin?

Then after that - Answering the tough questions of rape, mother's safety, and other objections.

On the Magnitude of Space and Time

Our questions are never completely and fully answered. Growing as a Christian, there are questions that I face that I find difficult to answer in different chapters in my life. For a good portion of my college career, the main question that bothered me and nagged at me was the question of natural disasters. Why would God allow them to happen? This is probably because of the various natural disasters that happened in the recent past - Katrina, Haiti, South Asia, Japan. For these doubts and questions, I usually have head answers that I already know. If someone asked me questions on my own doubts, I could answer them. But deep down, I have yet to fully come to peace with those answers.

For me, the question/doubt that is nagging me right now is really hard to describe and articulate, but I'm going to try anyways. It has to do with the bigness and vastness of the universe. Basically, given the enormity of the universe, is it not arrogant to say that of all of the universe, the millions of stars and lightyears, God especially loves humans so much that He sent his son down to die for us? Now I know Romans 8, and I know that God is here to redeem all of creation, but I can't help but think that it all just seems so human-centric. Why would God decide to plan things such that something as insignificant in the universe, such as human beings, have a special ability to communicate with him? Why would God choose to bless a single life form with his special revelation on a tiny planet in a tiny galaxy in a single universe, to which there could possibly be parallels?

And put space aside for a bit. What about time? Time just rumbles on. Humans have only been able to communicate via writing for a few thousand years. What will the gospel look like in another 10000 years? Or 1,000,000 years? Will humans even be recognizable then, or will some sort of natural or man-made evolution have happened? Space is vast, it is but finite. Time, however, is a number line that never ends. Will people a million years from now be able to understand that God came as a man and died on the cross for them? Will not Christianity seem more and more bogus and insane as time passes? Will the Bible avoid becoming completely obsolete as our forms of communication shifts completely away from text?

These doubts have been in the back of my head for a while, and I think about it every so often, but reading Isaac Asimov's short story The Last Question really makes it all come back again (I highly recommend reading it - it's pretty mind-blowing). We often forget just how small and insignificant we are when measured by time and space. Atheists, like Isaac Asimov, seem to have a significantly more firm grasp on the magnitude of the universe and the finitude of humanity. But this insignificance in time and space also leads to a certain hopelessness and meaninglessness. It's all sort of hard to describe. In a way, I think it's beneficial to periodically ponder our smallness in comparison with the universe. How much smaller are we in comparison to an infinite God that holds the entire universe in the palm of His hand! How much more remarkable is it that he loves us! Who is man that You are mindful of him?! This love is a great mystery, and one that I can't wrap my head around, and I doubt I ever will fully, in this life or the next.

Even though I find it incredulous that a God would care about a single species on a tiny speck of a planet in the enormity of the universe (and the space of all possible universes) and I find it unbelievable that such a God would invade time at such a precise time as to interact with humans that are more or less experience many of the same things I experience, I hold on dearly to the empty grave. Though I have not yet in my head reconciled these things, I know that Christ rose from the dead. Christ rose from the dead! I do not know why this universe was allowed to exist, and I do not know if there exists universes parallel to this one. I do not know what the human race will look like ten thousand years from now, and I do not know when time will end and Jesus will come back. But this I know - that Christ was crucified, died, and was buried, and on the third day he rose again! It is on the resurrection that my faith rests. And if he didn't, we of all men are to be most pitied.

Some Interesting Dreams

Recently, I've been having some especially vivid dreams, of which I've been trying to keep notes of. These dreams have been so vivid that I've often spent my mornings thinking and reflecting on the dreams. There isn't really a "point" to this post, but I just thought that the dreams were pretty interesting and worth sharing. In this post, I describe four dreams that I've had, and after each dream, I add a short blurb on the emotion I was feeling as the dream ended (which I'm sure you can relate to when you have a really vivid dream that just ends) along with a short analysis of the dream.

I guess I should also say that while I do believe that God speaks to us in many different ways, I don't believe any of these dreams to be prophetic in any way. Another disclaimer - the dreams may not make a lot of sense and it may seem like I'm jumping around a lot, but that's kind of the way dreams are! I've tried to make them flow as well as possible, but dreams are dreams - the settings and details are constantly changing and they don't quite make sense.

Forgiveness for a Pedophile in a Wheelchair

I was reading a newspaper about this pedophile, a child-snatcher that would kidnap other people's kids and do bad things to them. His photo was in the paper, and it was common knowledge that this guy is the scum of the earth.

I am in church, and I see this guy in a wheelchair. I walk up to him, and I recognize his face. Holy crap. He's that guy from the paper! He explains to me how sorry he is and how all that stuff he did was in the past, and he wanted to learn how to be forgiven. He is clearly a broken man. I explain to him that because I'm at church, there's a lot of "better" people he could talk to. Lloyd appears, and I think it's perfect because he can probably relate to the wheelchair, but Lloyd just disappears all of a sudden as we're approaching him (as people do in dreams). I then go find an IV staff worker I know whom I regard highly. The man in the wheelchair follows me, using his arms to push the wheelchair (as a normal person in a wheelchair would do. I don't know how else to describe it). I tell her that this man in the wheelchair is that child-snatcher and that he wanted to find out about forgiveness and I asked her to tell him about Jesus. She refuses, saying that she doesn't want to talk to someone like him, and she starts to bolt. I follow her, begging her to talk to him, but she says that she needs to go to the beach, and putting on her sunglasses and grabbing a beach ball, she gets in her SUV and drives away. I'm left standing in the parking watching her drive away. I decide to go talk to the pastor, who is John Piper. I walk to John Piper with the man wheeling in behind me, and ask John Piper to explain to the man the gospel and forgiveness, and John Piper refuses. He says that people like this man don't deserve forgiveness for the horrible things he has done. I argue with him because I know he knows the gospel and that he was treating the gospel with contempt. He walks away. I have no one left to ask.

Ending emotion
Totally, completely disappointed and directionless. I had thought that this staff worker, who I had known to be super loving, and John Piper, who supposedly has a deep understanding of the gospel, would be able to lovingly forgive this man and point him to Jesus. But everyone refused.

Brief analysis
The whole moral of the story is quite obvious. It's that even the best human beings, the best Christians in the world have trouble forgiving the wickedness of an individual, so Jesus is the only one we can approach for forgiveness. Random sidenote: after writing this, I realize how close this story is to the story of the Good Samaritan.

Unfortunate Car Accident

My dad is driving my family in my car, and it is snowing. I had argued with him that it's my car, so I should drive, but he's driving anyways. We are on some sort of curvy road, when all of a sudden we lose control of the car, blast through the guardrail, and end up in a snow bank. The car is damaged, but everyone is okay. The police arrive and say that the penalty of reckless driving is a jail sentence, and before asking any more questions, I'm hauled off and thrown in jail.

Ending emotion
A huge sense of injustice. It isn't fair that I get thrown into jail for my dad's mistake. Not only that, it was my car, the car that I'm paying for, that he's destroyed, and I still get punished for it.

Brief Analysis
The lesson here again is obvious. Jesus suffered the ultimate injustice for me. He didn't screw up the perfect creation of God, so he didn't deserve to be nailed on that cross, but he was anyways. That deep sense of injustice that I felt gave me a better understanding of the sacrifice of Christ for me.

Awkward DPM

I'm walking in a street with some of my AIV friends (don't really remember who, but at the moment I think one of them was Besha), when I get a call. It's my friend (we'll call her Emily), and she's speaking to me in Mandarin. She informs me that something came up, and she can't go to the Daily Prayer Meeting (DPM) that she normally goes to, but she doesn't want the leader (we'll call her Sheila) to feel bad about not having anyone at DPM, so she tells me to go. I told her that I didn't really want to go, but after a little prodding, I agree to go. We hang up (the entire conversation was in Mandarin, by the way). She texts me the address of the DPM, and I walk there with my friends. Her apartment was in an interesting location. We knock on the door, and the door opens. I say "Sheila! I haven't seen you in forever!!". She awkwardly informs me that she's actually Sheila's sister (even though she looks exactly like her), and that she is taking off, but Sheila was in the shower and would be out in one sec, and she leaves.

As a little background, this "Sheila" individual is a fringe member of AIV, one of those people that I'm not sure if she's really saved or not. Anyways, I was excited that she would be leading a prayer meeting, so with my friends, we wait in the living room for her to finish her shower. It was a really nice apartment - really bright with nice carpeting and nice couches. We wait a little bit, then get bored and decide to play some games while waiting for her. We hear some strange noises coming from the shower. Then I remember that she has a boyfriend. Could they really be...? ...in the shower? Right before the DPM that she's supposed to be leading? We sit there and look at each other awkwardly, as each of us knows what's going on. She comes out, hair wet and all, and greets us. I give her a hug to say hi, but I'm not sure what to say or how to act. Her boyfriend walks out a few seconds later. It was awkward.

Ending emotion
Awkwardness, disappointment, and not knowing what to do.

Brief Analysis
There really isn't any deep gospel realization in this dream as there had been in the previous two, but I found it very interesting that I dreamed partially in Mandarin again (I do it every so often). It wasn't until I was eating breakfast that it hit me - in real life Emily is Canto and can't speak Mandarin! It was one of those facepalm moments where I felt like my entire dream was just foolishness. Nonetheless, I think this dream reflects the fear that I have (and that I've shared with some of you) that some/many of the leaders in AIV now may not actually be saved and are living a lie. I also think it's very interesting that this dream features two current non-Christians, but in my dream, one is a real Christian and one is a fake one. This dream really reflects the thinking I've done recently on assurance of salvation and how even those who serve God may be rejected by Jesus, who will tell them "I never knew you."

Seeking Reconciliation

We were in a Bible class in a big lecture hall, and the professor was talking about human rights and America. My friend (an old friend of mine) raises her hand and says, "I wish America would just have something like a French Revolution, where everyone was equal and we had no president or king or whatever." I then proceed to look at her kind of stupid and basically start ranting at her in front of everyone. "Are you an idiot? Do you have no idea of what a French Revolution would mean? And it's completely unbiblical! Do you not realize that the Biblical model is that Jesus is the king and that there will always be hierarchy? Jesus will be our king for eternity in the new kingdom! Trying to get rid of hierarchy is totally foolish!"

She looks at me kind of stunned and just looks down and goes back to writing in her notebook. The guy that I am, I keep on thinking in my head, Wow. Why would she suggest something so stupid? Then she passes me a note from across the table (yes, we are now no longer in a lecture hall but sitting across from each other at a table). The note on the table says, "I may have been wrong, but you didn't need to be such a jerk about it." Staring at the note, I all of a sudden realize the wrong that I did her. I feel horrible. But I'm not sure what to say. I close my eyes for a bit. And I write a note back, apologizing for it. We exchange a few notes, and after a little bit, things seem to be okay between us.

We are catching up, and she tells me that she just broke up with her boyfriend and that she's single for the first time in a long time. I think to myself, Could I be with her? But she's backslidden, and I don't actually really know if she's a Christian or not.

We are at an aquarium, in one of those basement-type rooms where it's relatively dark, with one of the sides of the room being completely water. It's like one of those underwater views of the pools at places like Sea World, where you can view the animals from either above water or underwater (we are at the underwater one, obviously). She's still mad at me for what I did to her. I try and ask her how she's been spiritually and try to share the gospel with her again. But she's still mad at me. We're about to get to the moment of both reconciliation (and possibly romance?) between the two of us and also really sharing the gospel with her, but as that happens, a bunch of elephants swim in, with their trunks above the water line so they can breath. As this happens, a lot of people rush in, and our conversation, which had been deep and serious, is cut off. We both stare at the elephants for a little bit as they play underwater, and then I turn back, and she's not there. I see her far away, and I chase after her to finish our conversation, but I never catch up with her.

Ending emotion
Loneliness. Lack of closure. Sadness.

Analysis 
There isn't really much intellectual analysis for this dream, but I just woke up with a real sense of burden to catch up to and pray for this old friend of mine who I haven't talked to in forever and really haven't even thought about for years. I think that I dreamed about her because back in the day, when I really didn't have any really close friends, I think she was the first really, really close friend that I had. In my current situation without really any close friends here in Fort Wayne, I probably remembered her in my loneliness. Also, she showed up on my Facebook feed the previous day (and the elephants are from this video).

Closing thoughts

I hadn't realized that all of these dreams ended sadly, because normally my dreams never end sad. I tend to win in everything. I always get the girl, make the last shot, and destroy the enemies. I'm not going to read too much into it, but I find it interesting that even though the dreams seem to end sadly, I actually tend to have quite joyful mornings after having these vivid dreams, as I'm just excited that I got a good night of sleep and have something to think about for the morning. It's really been a blessing that God's been able to teach me various lessons through these dreams. It's amazing how God can glorify Himself in my life even when I'm asleep!

As an aside, I actually had another dream this morning that was pretty cool but unfortunately, I can't remember it at all and I didn't write it down. Hopefully I can remember it and post it up later. I also have this weird irrational fear that because I'm posting this, my awesome dreams will stop. I have no idea why I feel this way. I guess it's kind of like how if you tell your birthday wish to anyone, it won't come true. Whatever. I'm off to sleep again. And hopefully dream. Goodnight.

"My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, 

and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, 

when I remember you upon my bed, 

and meditate on you in the watches of the night; 

for you have been my help, 

and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. 

My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me."

- Psalm 63:5-8

More than Slactivists

Social justice starts with you. Social justice starts with me. It's easy to share a video on Facebook. It's just as easy to throw a Christian fundraiser or awareness event. It's much harder to practice what we preach and to be men and women of justice. It's much harder to care about and confront the poverty, loneliness, cheating, and sexual immorality that we see around us and deal with every day.

If we say we care so much about world poverty and world hunger, why are we so reluctant to give a few dollars to the homeless guy on the street? If we say we care about the widows and orphans of the world, why is it so difficult for us to approach that girl sitting by himself at large group or sit down with that lonely guy in the cafeteria? If we say that we care about the cheated and those we take what isn't theirs, why is it that so many of us "Christians" still cheat on homeworks and projects and tolerate others cheating on exams? Yes, I'm telling you to be a rat. If you see cheating, report it. If you see your friends cheating, confront them about it, and if they don't stop, report it. Do you think the social justice workers that prosecute the oppressed aren't hated and persecuted themselves? If we can't even deal with the trouble of reporting someone for cheating, do we really think that we will be able to report criminals when the consequences are that much more serious? If we say we care about sex trafficking and child prostitution, can we not stop watching porn and contributing to the industry that drives these atrocities? Aren't we, just like those sick people we hear about, imposing our sexual will and fantasies on other children of God, created in His image?

All of these things, God hates. God hates apathy, cheating, lying, stealing, pride, sexual immorality, and he hates it as much inside of our hearts as out in the world. If we leave the sin in our hearts undealt with and claim to care about the apathy, cheating, lying, stealing, oppression, and sexual immorality of the world, are we not being hypocrites of the most epic kind?

But thanks to God, there's hope for hypocrites like you and me, and that hope is in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus was born into a poor, refugee family of an oppressed people that had been ostracized from the community. Jesus was the kind of person that slactivists like us are supposed to get all riled up about - a son in a single-parent home of an oppressed people. But we didn't make an emotionally-manipulative video about him, we didn't send him a shoebox of goodies every Christmas, we didn't send $30 a month to sponsor him. No, we religious folk, we "activists", we giver of alms - we killed him. Friends, apart from the saving grace of God, we have no power to do any good or think any good thoughts, much less make a "positive difference" in the world. We ended up killing the most postive influence the world could possibly imagine! In the end, it is only Jesus that can redeem the world. It is on the cross that God's righteousness, justice, love, and mercy met, and it is only through the cross that we can have any hope for the evil, sickness, and wickedness in the world and the evil, sickness, and wickedness in our hearts.

By the grace of God, we can be more than slactivists who only care about justice when it's convenient and when it feels good. By the grace of God, let's learn to hate sin as God hates sin, and by the power of God, let's be men and women of justice, men and women of integrity.

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
- Micah 6:8

Why I Hate "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus"

There has been this video floating around the internets the last few days of a guy reading a poem that he wrote about how he hates religion because Jesus hates religion and how the truth of the love of Jesus is so much better. It's been shared 10 times by my Facebook friends and has actually even found its way on to reddit. If you haven't seen it, I've embedded it at the bottom of the post if you really want to watch a silly misleading gospel presentation. This video is just a little more creative expression of the famous Christian cliche "It's not a religion, it's a relationship."

These Christian cliche is unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. What does it mean that Christianity isn't a religion? By every dictionary definition Christianity is absolutely a religion - it has a set of beliefs about God, a belief in the supernatural, an institutionalized system of religious beliefs, etc. Maybe it means that Christianity doesn't have rules and laws like the other religions do? But then why is it a sin to lie or to commit adultery or to kill people? Aren't those rules that hold people down? Every which way you look at it, Christianity IS a religion.

But of course I know the good intentions behind the video and the cliche - Christianity isn't just about rules but it's about a relationship with Jesus. Now I agree with this totally and completely, but we need to think seriously about how people who aren't gospel-saavy will hear and understand "It's not a religion, but a relationship."

To the skeptic, it's nonsensical.

"How stupid must Christians be to try and convince anyone that their religion isn't a religion? This just smells like a wolf trying to put on sheep's clothing. How can Christians say that Christianity isn't a religion if they have a ginormous multi-billion industry called the Catholic Church, historical atrocities like the Crusades, rules that tell people that they can't be gay or lesbian, pastors that try to lead the sheeple in the direction that they want, and followers that try to push their ideas on other people? This whole "it's not a religion, but a relationship" business is just another of the ploys of Christians to try and dress up their silly little religion to make it more appealing and to try and shed the injustices and the oppression caused by Christians over the centuries."

To the agnostic, it's misleading.

"Wait so are you telling me that Christianity isn't a religion but is just a relationship with Jesus? That's great! I'm tired of religions trying to push their rules on me and keep me from having fun and enjoying myself! I'm so glad that Christianity isn't about rules! So if I was to accept the love of Jesus and a relationship with Jesus that you are talking about, this means that I don't need to go to church on Sundays right? ...Wait what? I thought Christianity wasn't about rules, but I guess going to church isn't too bad...Can I still keep sleeping with my girlfriend at least? No?! Why not?! I thought Christianity wasn't about the rules that are meant to hold people down..."

To the Christian, it's a source of arrogance.

"I'm a Christian and I don't believe in religion. Unlike people of other faiths, I don't do things because I have to, but because I want to. I understand what it means to have genuine faith unlike the Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and all of all of those other people that don't understand what it means to have a genuine faith. I bet they've all been forced to go to synagogue and mosque as kids. I bet their parents forced their religion on them. Not for me! I chose to go to church as a child. I chose to believe in Jesus on my own accord. I'm not even like those other Christians that don't love Jesus as much as I do. I know the church isn't perfect, but it's not because of me! If I was there during the Crusades, I would have spoken up and kept people from doing that horrible stuff! I was there during the civil rights movement, I would have been one of the first people to support MLK! I don't understand why all of those other Christians failed to do the obviously Christian thing to do like I would have. All the other people in the church that are ruining the church should stop being greedy and hateful and need to just love people. Unlike all the other 'religious' people I know, I'm not a hypocrite!!"


Now I know I may have exaggerated a little bit, but the problems we face when advertising Christianity not as a religion but only a relationship are obvious. In the end, we need to do as the guy in the video says to do (and what the Bible says to do) and to "boast in our weakness" and instead of distancing ourselves from the brokenness of the church, take ownership of the church's flaws and to use it to point people to Jesus. Instead of denying that Christianity has rules and regulations that people don't like, showing that those rules, kept by Christ's power, bring life to the full. Instead of pointing fingers to tear apart the body, we need to "encourage one another and build one another up."

Wake up, Christians! Your words matter! Christianity is a religion, and despite the flaws in its followers and in the church, it is the only true religion! But Christianity is still a religion...

Matthew 5:17 - "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."

James 1:27 - "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows and their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Mothers - Ordinary But Dearly Loved

[Disclaimer: I've worked on this post for a while, but I can't seem to communicate my thoughts very clearly...so I give up. I also don't mean to offend anyone by insulting their mother. This is just my perspective. Also, there are obviously many exceptions to every rule. I just try to point out a general observation I made.]

The unconditional love of the mother for the child is well-known, but we don't always talk about the surprisingly unique love a child has for his mother. What makes a mother lovable?

Outside Perspective: Ordinary and Unspectacular

Ever meet a mother that you've heard a friend talk about a lot, who you've heard has a heart of gold and is very interesting, and all you see is a usual, ordinary Asian lady standing in front of you?

From an outside perspective, there's really nothing surprising or exceedingly special about most mothers. Most of the mothers of my friends I've met are wildly unspectacular. Few are memorably funny or witty. Few have cool jobs or awesome hobbies. Few have physical features or attire that stick out in your mind. Few are particularly attractive to me (which is probably a good sign). If someone asked me to describe someone else's mother, I would probably respond with something like, "She's a really nice lady. She's kind of short, has short hair, and talks with a funny accent. She's a good cook/singer/artist. She lets us come over to play every so often and is extremely hospitable." [*I don't think we think about fathers the same way.]

And then I think, "This is the woman that [my friend] loves with all of his heart. This is the woman that [my friend] would die for without hesitation. This is a pretty usual woman, and he loves her unconditionally? Crazy."

I'm not saying that all of your mothers are the same in my head or don't mean something to me, it's just that from an outside perspective, your mother doesn't really have any traits or qualities that deserve unconditional love. The mother that you've talked about so much, that you love with all of your heart, that you would die for - she just looks like a normal lady to me.

Inside Perspective: Dearly Loved

Now this is obviously only half the story. The amount of work and love our mothers put into our lives are pretty amazing, even though it isn't immediately apparent. However, we love our mothers not because of any of their personality traits, career accomplishments, or memorable characteristics. We don't even love our mothers for being good mothers (because this often isn't the case, anyways). The only reason we love our mothers is because they are our mothers.

I'm sometimes (strangely) surprised by how much you guys love your moms, especially for those of you whose mothers I haven't met yet. Hearing your words drip of compassion, love, and respect about someone I've never met before is interesting. It's even more interesting, as said before, meeting the subject of this love in person.

Though our mothers may seem ordinary and unspectacular on the outside, we love our mothers dearly. Even though I may not find your mother to be particularly interesting, I know that you love her with all of your heart. And that's enough. That's enough for me to hold your mother in the highest respect and to love her as an Ah-Yi (or as a Comrade/Party Member Auntie, for all of you Mainlanders).

Mandatory Gospel Plug
Similarly to how we love our mothers (and other mothers) without much of a worldly justification or objective analysis, Jesus loves us without looking at who we are on the outside. He loves us despite our sin and despite our lack of spectacular-ness. Usually the analogy is used in the reverse sense - that God loves us like a parent loves a child, but unconditional love is unconditional love, and we should stay amazed and grateful for the undeserving unconditional love that we receive.

*Aside: I don't think we think about fathers the same way.

When we think about fathers, we think about their job, their physical features, the car they drive, their expertise in hobbies and profession. We think about their personality traits, their humor, and their funny quirks and habits. As an example, when I think about Michael's dad I think about him playing tennis. Justin's dad = tall and used to be a sniper. Eric's dad = has a boat and goes fishing and smokes fish. Tom's dad = retired early and Thomas claims he has like 10 patents and invented the router (also, "hold on, please"). Sang's dad = hilarious and outgoing.  Nathan's dad = pastor at CBC.

[Sorry all you Michigan people for not knowing your dads to include in the above segment. But for fun, you should think about the parents that you know well, and think about what pops into your head when you think of them. Go through all of the mothers, then all of the fathers. My theory is that the mothers will be like what I described before, and the things that pop out about the fathers will be more "interesting"]

TL;DR - Yeah this post really isn't about much. It's just crazy how much we love our mothers without much of a "reason", I guess. Also, we think about mothers and fathers differently.

Iris (a potential mother, as John Heald would say), our mother, and our mother's mother!

Why Asians are Bad Drivers

Leave your pride and your political correctness at home, and you have to admit, many Asians are bad drivers in the US. And when I say "Asians", I mean "people of yellow and brown color", even though it is not Asian-Americans (for the most part) who are at fault for being wild on the road….just their parents. [Sure, there are probably as many bad drivers of other races, but there's no denying we have our share of crappy drivers]

Here's my theory why:

Asians are accustomed to both reckless driving and extreme defensive driving, driving styles that are common in Asia but are considered "bad driving" in the US.

Asians Driving in Taiwan

Drivers in Taiwan don't care much for driving laws and have care even less for right-of-way rules and other unspoken/sometimes-spoken rules we have in the US. This disregard for rules and the general well-being of others on the road is embodied in my grandmother (my mom's mom).

My grandmother is a terrible driver (and a terrible person, but that's another story for another day). She stomps the brake when the car ahead of us brakes because she doesn't leave enough room between the two. She makes such slow and crazy left turns on big roads that oncoming traffic needs to come to a near halt to not run into her. She used to be worse. She used to go the other way on one-way streets and always go on red lights. Thank God she doesn't anymore.

I can't really speak for the rest of Asia, but I know that Taiwan is filled with these sort of drivers. Some of my relatives say that people don't stop for red lights but slow down for green lights, because when they are crossing a green light, they are afraid of other people running red lights. But when they are running a red light, they know that other people are also scared of people running red lights and that the other drivers slow down on greens, allowing them to drive full speed through a red. Road rage is pretty common and crazy in Taiwan, and people yell and scream at you if you make a mistake or don't get out of the way in time.

There is an expectation in Taiwan that you are prepared for reckless drivers, driving to accommodate their crazy driving (if you aren't one of the reckless drivers, that is). There's no use in pouting and being righteous about right of way or traffic laws. You just need to slow down when other a car decides to cut in front of you, look both ways when crossing a green light, and be extremely careful when making turns. Even when it's your right of way, it's almost always safer to just assume that the other driver is crazy and selfish and will go anyways (like my grandmother). This results in an extreme sort of defensive driving.

Asians Driving in the US

Both reckless driving and extreme defensive driving make a lot of sense (kind of) in Taiwan, but it would be madness in the US. We see less of the Asian reckless drivers in the US (most of them don't make it over here...), but we see a lot of extremely slow, overly cautious Asian drivers. Sure, it might be because the poor Asian lady is too short to see over the wheel, but it could also be that she's accustomed to motorcycles jumping out of nowhere and cars seemingly intent on crashing into her. Our Asian parents seem to also hold this view of the dangerous, car-eat-car roads and highways. Anyone have your Asian mom scream at you to look left a million times before making a right turn? Yeah, me too. (Maybe white moms do it too, but I wouldn't know. I don't have a white mom.) They still imagine cars stopping randomly and motorcycles cutting you off, and they aren't yet used to the relative calm and safety of the American road.

So there it is, my theory of why Asians are bad drivers. This could, of course, all be completely wrong and the reason we are bad drivers is just that God made us that way.

Say what you want, but I love Carlos Mencia. Moment at 1:40, priceless.

The Future of Driving - Automated Driving

I've talked to some of you about my ideas of the future of driving, but I'm going to "publish" these here, just so we have a record of them. I also have a new idea about street signs that I lightbulbed just a few days ago. Sorry there are no pictures. If there were, I would have created them using MS Paint anyways, so yeah.
 [Disclaimer: I have done no research on these topics, so if what I'm saying has already been done or is proven to be impossible, oops.]

Automated Driving

We already have cars that can park themselves. We have airplanes that fly themselves. We have vacuums that vacuum themselves. What is holding us back from having cars that park themselves? In my opinion, the widespread use of automated driving is almost inevitable.

Motivations and Benefits:

Safety
The main cause of car crashes is the driver (as the human is the weakest link in most systems built today). There will come a point when a computer driver will be more safe than the average human driver. The computer driver would always stay focused at the wheel, follow traffic laws, never fall asleep , and stay sober. If designed and implemented efficiently and effectively, an automated driver would have a significantly faster reaction than any human being and would handle unexpected obstacles and hazards faster than any human.

Once the use of automated automobiles is widespread, the cars would be able to avoid most traffic accidents by communicating with other cars over some network. For example, if a car wants to turn left on some hill where it can't see the oncoming cars, it can broadcast to cars in the immediate area that it desires to turn left. If there is a car that is speeding along, coming from the other side, that car would be able to receive the message and respond a split second later, "Don't turn yet! I'm coming!". There are a myriad of other scenarios where this type of communications would be beneficial, such as car breakdowns, yellow lights, turn on reds, backing out of driveways, etc.

Awesomeness
Just think about it. You will never need to drive that 11-hour trip to Michigan from New Jersey to visit Caleb. You could just sleep or eat or watch a movie or play video games. You will never need to worry about getting a speeding ticket again. You will never need to find directions anywhere, and you'll never get lost. You will never need to look for a parking spot again. You may never even have to find your car in the parking lot, because, with the push of a button, it will drive to you. You won't need anyone to pick you up from the airport because your car will do it itself. You won't need to have a designated drive r for parties, because your car will be doing the driving. Just think about it. The possibilities are endless.

Traffic / Time on the road
Automated cars can help avoid this [must-watch video if you haven't learned about this stuff before].


Obstacles

Public Acceptance
The trust of the public will need to be earned, and this could take as long as a decade. It won't be easy for humans to hand over their lives to a computer, and the passengers of the car will probably spend more time nervously watching the road instead of sitting back and relaxing. Strategic marketing and emphasis of government certification will be key towards surmounting the inevitable public skepticism. Needless to say, the first priority of car manufacturers will be safety, as any sort of accident on the road will be a huge setback for the acceptance of automated driving.

Car companies will need to figure out some way to make the transition smoother for people who find it difficult to hand over control of driving. I'm not sure what this will look like, but perhaps this will include some sort of intermediate step between total automation and human driving.

Security
Software and hardware security will be of the utmost importance, as any successful attack on an automobile could easily result in the death of the passengers. In addition, if a compromised automobile sends false status updates into the communication network, it could seriously stall traffic by causing other cars to make wrong or even dangerous decisions. Even if the car's driving system can be hijacked (as it will probably be), there must be safeguards in place to identify and isolate these rogue agents. This will probably be the most technically difficult of this whole automated car business, as it is effectively impossible to implement the many different components needed to autonomously drive a car without any bugs or security vulnerabilities.

Jerkiness
Most driving robots now drive really herky-jerky, and it's important that an automated driver would be able to be a smooth driver, even smoother than human drivers. This really isn't as easy as it sounds, and it could give developers quite a headache.

Predictions:
Likelihood of automated driving being widely used sometime in the future - 90%

Estimated time until widespread use - 50 years (prototype in 15 years, government-certified 10 years after that, prices drop enough for consumers after another 10 years, 5 years before it's common to see them on the road).

Smart Street Signs

The street signs in Taiwan can be pretty horrible. They can have multiple road names on the same sign, and signs are often horribly placed. It can often be pretty hard, even in the US, to see which road we are supposed to take, even if our directions are correct.

Overview
Street signs, in the future, will be like the electronic billboards that are becoming more and more common. The will electronically display their street names, along with any other necessary information, like if there is a traffic jam there, or if the road is a dead end, etc.

Giving Directions
My vision for street signs is that they would partner with the automobile's GPS and would alert the driver when it is the correct road for the driver to take. [My assumption is that in the near future, you'll just sit in your car, say where you're going, and the correct location will automatically appear on your GPS. Speech recognition is getting better and better, and it won't be long before that happens.] The street signs would probably flash or give some sort of visual signal for the driver, but then there's the problem of having many cars pass by the same intersection in a small amount of time. How would you know if the turn signal on the street sign is meant for you and not the car behind you? Every car could have some sort of a symbol and color chosen by the driver, and though a similar symbol and color may be chosen by someone else, the probability of error may be low enough to maintain a relatively high accuracy.

Just imagine. You are driving to a restaurant you've never been to in a town you are unfamiliar with. You get into your car, say "Panchero's in Ann Arbor", and head off. Your GPS takes you down some familiar roads, but then you start reaching unfamiliar territory. Your GPS tells you that you need to turn right in 500 feet, but there are a few roads, one right after another. One of the street signs begins to blink purple with a black heart on it - your symbol. You turn on that road. You approach the highway that you need to get on. You aren't sure if you're supposed to go north or south. A portion of it  displays your purple background with the black heart. You get on the highway. You drive a little bit, and then see a road sign that has been slightly changed to say "Construction Ahead" below the usual "Exit 23 - Browntown". Your GPS reroutes you to the nearest exit, which displays your emblem. You get off there, and continue your journey to the legendary restaurant Panchero's that you've heard so much about.

Difficulties
Street signs are becoming increasingly irrelevant because of GPS turn-by-turn directions, would be made nearly obsolete with automated driving. Having directions and choices projected onto windshields would also make these smart street signs useless. The cost of erecting these smart street signs and then the energy consumption needed for maintenance would probably be too much for the small return.

I actually don't think this will happen, but it's just a little idea that I had.

Predictions:

Likelihood of smart street signs being widely used sometime in the future - 10% (It will just be too costly for 

Estimated time until widespread use - 15 years (if it happens at all)

Another of my big ideas that apparently is already invented:

Automatic Car Cooling System

Eslite (and why I don't like dressing up)

Eslite: Shopping for the elite.

Eslite

We went to a "mall" called Eslite today. The moment we walked in, I knew it was stuffy. And by stuffy, I meant for extremely wealthy people who had nothing better to do. Everything in the entire mall was grossly overpriced. We saw a crappy, broken wooden chair for 22,000 NT ($800 USD), a set of chopsticks for 8,000 NT ($280 USD), and basically every male T-shirt being sold was about 3,000 NT ($105 USD). Pretty ridiculous. But of it all, this takes the cake:

Giant, expensive doll. 

The price tag on this giant plastic doll is…wait for it…300,000 NT. That's $10,500 American dollars, ladies and gentlemen. For a big plastic doll.

Eslite was the first shopping mall I've visited where no one seemed to carry shopping bags, as it seemed like no one bought anything. [It was more like a museum, because you couldn't touch anything and you really couldn't buy anything either.] I just don't understand why anyone would 1) open stores like that or 2) visit a mall like that. For the vendors, how can you sell these unspectacular objects for such exorbitant prices with a clear conscience? For the shoppers, why would you shop at a place where you can't buy anything and subject yourselves to a shopping experience that will only leave you discontent?

The Ferrari Store.

Why I don't dress up.

The thoughts that ran through my head as I walked through Eslite revealed to my why I don't like dressing up, and hopefully I can do a good job of explaining a little bit of myself and a little bit of why I don't like dressing up when expected to.

I've always been bitter against the rich. I hate the snobby "I'm better than you because my parents make more money than your parents" attitudes. I detest the pretentiousness of flaunting wealth, especially when you did nothing to earn it. I can't stand wasting money on mere status symbols, and buying things just because you can.

My family wasn't always the most well off, and growing up in Marlboro meant that I was surrounded by a lot of very rich kids, kids that would tease me for not wearing the right clothes or not having the cool stuff. I remember in 6th grade a white kid named Mike (who was very nice to me) explaining what Abercrombie and Fitch was and why it was popular. He introduced me to the wonderful world of zip-off pants, which were hip at the time, I guess. I grew up with kids that looked down on you for not having certain things, so naturally I rejected the idea of needing to wear certain things or look a certain way just because other people want me to.

I don't dress up not only because it's annoying, but many times, dressing up is a submission to the desire of others forced upon me. Why should I look a certain way just for you? Why do I need to dress a the way you want me to for your acceptance? Do you feel better than me because you are dressed a certain way? Why do you think you're all that when you put on a tie or wear a dress, when it really doesn't change anything?

Bonus Pictures:

We went to the National Palace Museum today, and they were selling these nice little souvenirs in the gift shop. I bought 5 of each.

Item: Jade Bak Choy
Price: 1,080,000 NT = $37,713 USD

Item: Jade Necklace
Price: 760,000 NT = $26,539 USD

An Automatic Car Cooling System

To the mechanical engineers of the world, here is my idea:

The Problem

In the summer, cars left out under the sun become like ovens, making it extremely uncomfortable when first getting into them. Getting into cars immediately cause sweat and discomfort, and it take a while before all the hot air is circulated out and the air conditioning kicks in. The current solutions to this problem are both inconvenient and ineffective, as they require screens of some sort to be put up by the windshield. While helpful, they often are just not worth the hassle of setting up.

My Proposed Solution

 My solution is to insert a solar panel on the car and to use solar energy to run small fans to continually circulate hot air out of the car and the cooler outside air into the car.

My key observations:

1) The car is hot when it is under the sun.
2) The main issue is the heat of the air, not the heat of the car itself (i.e. seats, steering wheel, etc).

Air circulation should effectively keep the air in the car relatively cool and not the heat sink that it is currently. In addition, it should keep the actual components of the car like the seats and steering wheel cool, as their heat will be transferred to the cooler air around it, which is continually being cycled. These fans should be able to run quietly for long periods of time without much energy consumption, which is something that air conditioning cannot accomplish. 

This is a relatively simple concept but the actually implementation might be difficult. Some things to consider are cost, correct placement of fans to create maximum air flow, and energy efficiency. I know that new Honda Civic Hybrids already have solar-powered air conditioning, so this add-on should be the natural next step.

In my opinion, this issue of hot cars in the summer is being overlooked by the automotive industries, as it doesn't really matter how much your car costs: if you leave it out in the sun, it's going to be nasty inside.

If any of you make any money off of this idea, I expect some sort of a reward...a new car would be nice.

Funny Picture:

On Dating

I've received a bunch of formspring questions asking about my thoughts and opinions and preferences of dating. Because my answer to a lot of these questions intersect, I'll attempt to answer them here.

The End
To me, the goal of dating is to marriage. This doesn't mean that a dating relationship is expected to end in marriage, but I think that the ultimate end of dating is marriage. A dating relationship is not considered successful outside of marriage, meaning that merely gaining experience or temporary comfort is inadequate. Dating without marriage in mind is useless and doesn't add much to life. Sure, the experience is helpful, but in the end, I think the hurt involved far outweighs the experience gained.

The Means
Dating is made possible only by Godly love. Even though we aren't fully capable of perfect love, Christ has given us the ability to be selfless and to put others above ourselves. People these days are afraid of the word "love" and afraid to use it. I think that the only way to have a successful relationship is through love. Sure, this love may be imperfect and need a lot of work, but without love, without being willing to sacrifice yourself for someone else, no relationship will be fruitful.

Because love means putting your own desires aside for the well-being of another, I firmly believe that anyone is "datable". This doesn't mean that I can or will date people that are very different from me or have qualities that I dislike, but it does mean that if God wants me to date or marry someone, He will give me the strength and selflessness I need to love so radically that any everything that seemed like a barrier before will be overcome. In the end, it is God who does both the choosing and the loving; I do neither.

The implications of everything I just said is that while there are things that I may not like in a person, I am to love the way Jesus has loved me: to forgive and to love. This isn't an idealistic thought that all obstacles are overcome as long as you love, but the idea is that God won't give me trials that I can't overcome or trials that He won't help me overcome.

My Preferences
I'm not going to post my preferences for a few reasons. First of all, it could be offensive and hurtful to others. Second, these are only personal preferences that I've noticed in myself, not strict rules or expectations I have of girls. Posting a list of preferences will only tempt me to treat them as expectations and strict guidelines, keeping my from trusting God's decisions and relying on my own desires.

On Dating Non-Christians
2 Corinthians 6:14-15: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? ...What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" There are a lot of interpretations of this verse and opinions on dating non-Christians, so I'll just give mine. I think the general rule for all Christians is (and should be) to not date non-Christians. In my opinion, dating non-Christians should be done with caution and Christians should not marry non-Christians.

That said, I do believe that God can use relationships with non-Christians for His glory. Because God should be the center of any relationship, God should also be the center of all relationships, even if others are not Christian. If we love our friends and especially our significant others, we should, more than anything else in the world, desire their salvation. Jesus will love any girl infinitely more than I can love her, so the most loving and selfless thing for me to do is to just lead her to Jesus. Still, these relationships should be the exception and I think we need to hear God's call clearly in these situations.

Personally, I've only had one potential relationship with a non-Christian. Though I shared the Gospel with her, I found that I was changing more than she was and the way I was living my life wasn't very glorifying to God. I find that when I am close to God, my close friendships with non-Christians often suffer because I can't fully share my life with them. I don't want to impose on my friends and I don't want to be overbearing, so I don't share about my spiritual life very often. Though as Christians we want to say that we are open to dating all people and that our spiritual lives won't be affected either way, the reality is that dating a non-Christian is a risk that we should only take with an explicit call and blessing from God.

Random comic:

The Illusion of Online Privacy

An obsession of privacy is an irrational, futile endeavor.
I find it interesting when people set their Facebook (and other web application) settings to have all sorts of privacy settings. They are creating for themselves an illusion of privacy. In the end, very few things on the web are truly secure, and if someone really wanted to steal your information, they really don't need Facebook to do it. In fact, most of your precious Facebook profile information can be found through a search in a phone book or directory.

To me, setting your Facebook profile sittings is like locking the front door of your roofless house. Sure, the casual observer wont be able to get into your house, but when someone really wants to steal your TV, locking the door won't matter. But people want to live in their illusion that what they put on Facebook cannot be found elsewhere. Sure, photos and stuff probably won't be elsewhere, but what exactly are you protecting, and why are you protecting it?



The REAL Facebook Controversy

Most of the people with opinions worth anything know that the real issue in this Facebook privacy controversy is NOT that it is now "less secure" but that Facebook dramatically changed their privacy policy 1) without really notifying users and 2) making it very difficult to change back to the original settings. These are the true questions that Facebook has to answer, not about why privacy sucks, because the truth is, privacy sucks in almost every application available.

Why does no one have an issue with Twitter? Is it because privacy is emphasized by Twitter? Of course not! Nobody complains about Twitter because they don't expect it to be private. When you use Twitter, you have a certain expectation of lack of privacy. This also applies to Blogger. People aren't furious that when they create a profile it's viewable by the entire internet. The issue for Facebook is this: they changed, and nobody knew it.

Random funny photo:

Phillies runner Tazed

Being Home - Demons of the Past

Being home brings out a lot of the worst of you. When you're home, you become the person that you used to be at home, and a lot of the character changes that you've developed outside of home suddenly fly out the window. Home has this mysterious power of causing your personality to travel back through time to who you used to be.

Don't get me wrong - being home is awesome. The familiarity of home brings ease and comfort and the love of family brings warmth and memories. However, this familiarity is what brings back those nagging character flaws that you have been working on for years. The comfort of the environment of home causes you to let down your guard against your demons of the past and the familiarity of home triggers you to be a different person.

My mom first pointed out this phenomenon to me when we visited Taiwan a few years ago. My parents argue a lot more when they're in Taiwan living with family because suddenly all of the hard work they have put into their marriage disappears. All the things they have changed about themselves to accommodate the other are gone, making arguments inevitable. The good thing is that they've recognized the problem, allowing a joint attempt at preventing it as much as possible.

Here are some of the character flaws that are more pronounced at home:

Me: Laziness, Slothfulness, Meanness
Iris: Dependence, Irritability, Laziness
Dad: Messiness, Apathy
Mom: Pride, Loudness, Argumentativeness

What about you?

"Abba", "Ba Ba"

Romans 8:

And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

"Abba" is an intimate word that Jews used to refer to their father. In the English-speaking world, "Papa"  or "Daddy" are also commonly used. In my family, it's "Ba2 Ba2" (for everyone who doesn't speak Chinese, I bet they think we sound like sheep loll).

I have struggled calling God this most intimate word for "father." It's easy for me to call him "Father" or "Heavenly Father", but it's much more difficult for me to call him something more intimate to me. The thing about "dad" and "daddy" is that those words mean very little to me. I don't call my dad "dad", and when I think of him "dad" isn't the word that crosses my mind. "Ba ba" is. "Ba ba" is my dad, and my dad is "Ba ba".

But to me, I can't call God "Ba Ba". And I don't know why…but here are a few possibilities:

Maybe I idolize my dad: My dad is great. He is awesome. I love him. Of course I think he's the best dad in the world. Sometimes I idealize him, but as sons, aren't we supposed to? I think it's possible that because of my love for my dad, I find it hard to believe that there is someone who can love me and provide for me better than he. I find it hard to believe that there is someone wiser and smarter. I cannot accept that there is someone who can be a better "Ba Ba" to me than my dad.

But God is all those things. It's obvious to me how it would be easier for kids that come from broken families without fathers to see God as a father. But what about me? I already have one…one that I've very happy with that I don't think can be replaced! I know that God isn't meant to replace my dad, but why then should I call him my dad? It doesn't make very much sense to me. This brings me to my next possibility.

God isn't meant to be called "dad": I know that God is our Heavenly Father, but what is his role as a father in my life? Is he really my father or does he just represent a father figure, having fatherly traits?

Maybe, because God's traits are so all-encompassing, calling him a "father" just doesn't do him justice. While I realize that words can't fully describe God, maybe I see him more like a King or Creator than I do a father. To me, his other traits seem to dominate his fatherly traits.

I guess that for me, I need to learn to appreciate more of God's fatherly traits. I guess it's just part of understanding who God is. I guess that the thing for me is that I don't really understand God's fatherly traits…what exactly they are and how they are different from his other traits. I don't really see his provision and his love as purely fatherly traits, as that's also part of what a good king is and a creator is. 

Slacking in 270

In EECS 270 lab today, I slacked off..majorly. I did maybe an hour of work and then just youtube-surfed for the rest of the lab. Here's what I watched:

Wedding Dress Music Video

For some reason, Asian pop songs and dramas are so much more emotional to me than American ones. Maybe it's because I don't fully understand the language spoken, maybe it's because the girls are prettier to me. There's just something about it. This song, anyway, is heartbreaking. It's basically about a dude seeing the girl she loves getting married to another guy. This is my biggest fear. There's only one girl that I've ever truly loved, and I wonder how I'll feel at her wedding. I suddenly had an urge to reconnect with her, to make sure that I don't lose something great that could be.

My mom used to say that once she met Jesus, she had no more need for any of the love songs and romantic movies. I can see why. These emotions and desires and fears come from a lack of faith that God will provide. They are the flesh telling us to worry about tomorrow, that we could miss out if we don't follow our heart (or whatever lame corny lie that the world tells us).

I won't listen to that song again. It leaves me strangely discontent and fearful of the future. All I need to know is that Jesus will never leave me for anyone else. He will be with me always.

Soccer Highlights

I love sports. I can't get over it. Sports brings a passion that nothing else can bring out. Sports brings a unity between people that is unparalleled.

I love sports.

Hopefully I don't substitute sports for God.

FailBlog Videos

They never get old!

Oh How I Hate Ohio State!

I HATE Ohio State. I hate them with all of my being. I can't associate with anyone from OSU. Seeing someone from OSU just makes me angry. It has made me think: Do I hate sin as much as I hate Ohio State? I'm called not to hate others, but to hate the things that God hates. I tolerate my own sin much more than I tolerate Ohio State. Also, I tolerate the sin of others much more than I tolerate Ohio State. Sin doesn't make me angry. Sin doesn't make me fume. Even my hatred of oppression and injustice is often temporal and emotional, not a hatred that (to me) stems out of who I am, my entire being.

Hate itself is a sin, and to learn to hate sin, I need to learn to hate hating everything else. I can't hate Ohio State anymore. I can't hate Urban Meyer or Lebron James anymore. I'm called to something greater than that.

...And that's what I'm struggling with.

Funny Link of the Day:

http://universityofmichiganrejects.com/

Funny Picture of the Day: