Becoming Discontent in 7 Easy Steps

Are you tired of being happy with your life? Sick of living an anxiety-life? Worry about your worrylessness no more! Here's 7 easy steps to living a perpetually discontent life, a process I personally perfected after a honeymoon-like week of hanging out with old friends July 4th week, where my yearning for deep community (and other less honorable desires) was rekindled and set ablaze. All the suppressed dissatisfaction with my life ate away at my heart, and I found myself coveting the lives of some of my old friends and dreaming of my own imaginary perfect future.

And so here, free of charge (for the first 30 days), is this 7-step EZ-Discontentment system. Enjoy.

1. Create a mental picture of your unattainable ideal life.
   
   
2. Compare yourself to other people, especially people that seem to be living a better life than you.
   
   
3. Think about all the possessions you don't have and all the experiences you're missing out on.
   
   
4. Puff yourself up and list the things you think you deserve but don't have at the moment.
   
   
5. Ignore the blessings in your life and the struggles of others.
   
   
6. Neglect your relationship with Jesus.
   
   
7. Repeat daily.