Urbana 2012 - New Friends

One of my favorite things about this Urbana was the amount of people I got to reconnect with and the amount of new people I got to meet. I've always loved making new friends, but this time it just felt different. Even though I often introduce myself to people either out of a sense of obligation to make people feel comfortable and welcome or selfishness for being well-known, I've still always enjoyed getting to know new people. But the huge amount of joy and encouragement I got from meeting new people this Urbana was very peculiar and unusual.

I realized that my unusual excitement from making new friends is probably because I really haven't had many of those experiences this last year in Fort Wayne. I've definitely made some friends in Fort Wayne, but I haven't had the opportunity to see someone and chat with them every day, like you might a new college friend. I haven't connected culturally with many people here, and I haven't made a friend with (or even met) a single Asian-American Christian in the year that I've been here. All in all, I've just missed making friends.

And to a point, I even feel desperate. I felt the unfamiliar need inside of me to get to know other people. I really wanted other people to be my friends. And this was kind of new to me. Pardon my pride, but I've thought of it kind of like "You should want to be friends with me, not the other way around, because it's a privilege to be friends with me. Don't you know? I'm friends with everyone! Get in line." Okay that was somewhat of an exaggeration, but still. I've never felt the need to make new friendships, as I already have a solid group of guys around me that I can go to with anything. But through Urbana, and now afterwards, there's been a hunger inside me for getting to know new people, and getting to know them beyond surface level.

This is all incredibly hard to explain, and probably awkward for you to read, so I'll give you a concrete example which may or may not make this entire post more awkward (also depending on who you are). I met a bunch of Duke IV students who were Asian and did Bible study with them in the morning. For me, instant connection. New Asian American friends? I haven't had those in a year! And Christians too? Bonus!! After getting a chance to chat with them a few times during Urbana week, I felt like they were my friends. Like. Friends. People that I'm invested emotionally in, not just random people I met during some giant Christian conference. I took every opportunity to chat with them when I saw them, and I even stopped by where they were hanging out right before Urbana finished just so I could say hi/bye.

If you know me, you know that I'm a "horrible friend", one that doesn't ask about how you're doing often, doesn't share much about my life on my own initiative, and really doesn't make that much effort to stay in touch all the time. But as I've been chatting with one of the Duke dudes occasionally and corresponding with some of the other people I met from their chapter, I've initiated every time and tried to maintain long, quality conversations. And through it all, I can't help asking myself, "What is wrong with me?". This is probably the wrong word, but I feel horribly "clingy", trying to hold on to a "friendship" that I know will more likely than not end up as merely a Facebook friendship. I feel like I need to keep a connection with these people, or I'll lose out on something, possibly because these are potentially the only new friends with "potential" that I'll meet in a while.

For all of you who are reading this that I keep regular contact with, don't feel betrayed. You know that I love you. It's not you it's me. Maybe we should start seeing other people. Okay that last one isn't true. But you I know I love you guys and I know I can tell you guys anything, but that's also part of why this whole issue is so confusing to me. Why do I need new friends when I've already got awesome ones? I think that part of me  loves the platonic "thrill of the chase", getting to meet someone new and hear their story, which is something I got to do a lot in college through outreach and NSO but not a whole lot this last year in Fort Wayne.

And if you're from Duke, I don't want your pity! Go on and live your wonderful magnificent lives without me! I'll just write on your Facebook walls after Michigan beats you and wins the NCAA Championship! See you all in heaven!

Okay. This post was supposed to be an exclusively happy one about reconnecting with old friends and meeting new people, as the more introspective and sad ones were going to follow. Oh well. Life isn't always cat GIFS and unicorns. Hopefully the next post isn't as suckily sulky.

Urbana 2012 Posts

Expectations
Early Distractions
Major Differences
Denis (and Vladomir)
New Friends

Urbana 2012 - Denis (and Vladomir)

One of my favorite, favorite experiences at Urbana this year was getting to know Denis, a 30-year old IFES worker in Russia.

The Seminar

I went to a seminar called "Evangelizing in a Post-Modern country" and like Janice, who happened to be at the seminar with me, I expected to hear a methods and tips for evangelizing in post-Christian countries like the US and European countries. Instead, Vladomir, another IFES worker in Eurasia, told us that this track should have been titled "Evangelizing in a Post-Communist country". But in reality, the seminar wasn't really about evangelism. It was an overview and update of evangelicalism and IFES in Eurasia.

And I loved it. Both Vladomir and Denis, who split the hour giving their own presentations, were extremely funny to me, despite having imperfect English and being from across the globe. Our common sense of humor surprised me and made me instantly like them and empathize with all they were saying. I was immediately excited for Denis when he went up to speak and the first thing he did was apologize for his poor English and say that it was his first time in the US. Then he said that he hoped that we could understand him because he burnt his mouth eating a taco (his first!) too fast, as he tried really hard to be at the seminar on time. It's these types of humble and hilariously self-deprecating remarks that made me instantly connect with them.

Even though I didn't (and still don't) have a burden for any of the post-Soviet states, I was really moved by this seminar. The depth of love shown by Denis and Vladomir for God, those they serve, and the nations that they live in moved me deeply, and by the end of the seminar, I was on the verge of tearing up. It's a hard feeling to explain. Two guys I didn't know were talking about countries I didn't really care about, and I was moved to tears? Crazy.

I wanted to talk to Vladomir and Denis after the seminar to thank them for their talk, but there was a long line to talk to them and I had somewhere I needed to be, so I just left.

The IFES Stand

Then the next day (or perhaps the day after), as I took a seminar slot off to wander in the Exhibit Hall and the bookstore, I saw both Vladimir and Denis arrive at the IFES stand. I went to them, thanked them for their seminar, and mentioned how moved I was by their love for God and for those they serve. I chatted with Denis a bit, and got his contact info so I could stay connected with him. Then I told him "I'll be praying for you" and started to turn to talk away. But then I saw him just standing there, with eyes closed and his hands nicely folded at his waist. I guess he didn't understand the tense with which I spoke and thought I told him I would pray for him right there, but I went over anyways, put my arm around his shoulder, prayed for him and Vladomir, and gave him a big hug afterwards. It was awesome. Really awesome.

And that was one of my favorite moments, if not the favorite moment, of this Urbana. It was more exciting and awesome than it sounds. Trust me.

Bonus - A few factoids about ministry in the post-Soviet nations

• The greatest challenges are the legacy of the past, hopelessness, a struggling economy, corruption, and broken families. 
• In Belarus, it's illegal to study the Bible outside of a church building. 
• The Orthodox church is oppresive towards Protestantism, and there is little cooperation between Protestant churches.
• Only 5% of Orthodox Christians go to temple. [Vladomir said that many Orthodox Christians go to temple regularly...two times a year.]
• When asked what their greatest prayer request is, the said, "Revival in the Orthodox Church".  This response actually really, really surprised me, and it displayed a refreshing humility - both theological humility and humility to admit that they can't do it themselves. 

Urbana 2012 Posts

Expectations
Early Distractions
Major Differences
Denis (and Vladomir)
New Friends

Urbana 2012 - Major Differences

Because I attended the last Urbana, I've had a bunch of people ask me which one was "better". That question is difficult to answer, because I am a different person than I was 3 years ago, but I can point out some key differences in the Urbana experience between 2009 and 2012. I wonder how often and dramatically Urbana changes every three years, as there were already a good amount of differences between these two Urbanas.

1) "A Join-In" and no solidarity dinner

This year, one of the evening plenaries was set aside for doing making "Caregiver Kits" to the caregivers in Swaziland. It was basically a giant assembly line that each participant got to go through once, somewhat like a grown-up version of the little missions projects we do at VBS at home. Because of the massive number of participants, while we were seated, they had some little activities planned for us, such as a few short videos to watch and some questions for small group discussion. From what Greg Jao said that night (and from the name of the night itself), I think the whole point of it was to "join in" with what God was doing in and through others around the world - to feel a solidarity with the caregivers, if you will. Because of this, I believe that the solidarity dinner was purposely removed in favor of the join-in.

Now all of you who were at Urbana 09 are probably thinking, "No solidarity dinner? No mush and tiny Dixie cup of water? That's awesome!" I'm not going to disagree with you, but in my opinion, the Join-In was far from what the organizers had originally hoped for, in a couple of ways. First of all, the entire night seemed to embody the triumphalistic "West to the Rest" mentality that was so discouraged in both plenary sessions and in seminars. I grew uncomfortable with the loud cheering and the endless high-fives, as if we've contributed anything to the cause or accomplished something, when none of us paid for anything in the kits or really spent any energy putting them together. It didn't feel like we were "joining in" to anything - it felt like we were congratulating ourselves on a job well done. Secondly, the night went significantly longer than originally planned, leaving most of us bored and tired in the stands. This resulted in antics like the wave going around and people fighting to be captured on the big screen, which was understandable but still bothered me.

As you can tell, the join-in wasn't my favorite thing in the world, but in its defense, I remember thinking after the last Urbana that we talked so much about poverty and world hunger but didn't actually do anything about it. This year, the Urbana organizers decided to give us an opportunity to do something about social justice instead of just talking about it. Great intentions, but it didn't turn out exactly as what they had planned. I might write another post with some more thoughts on this. Stay tuned.

2) Excellent, relevant arts presentations

I'm not going to pretend to be some sort of arts expert, but I thought that the drama and dance performances this year were extremely well-done and especially memorable. Unlike three years ago, there was an awesome, hilarious series of skits this year with continuity throughout the entire conference. Also, there seemed to be a fusion of song, dance, and drama this Urbana that wasn't there last Urbana.

For those of you who weren't at this Urbana and are looking for some light, fun entertainment (not David Platt), I really recommend watching the arts performances, especially The Great Invitation videos, which can all be found here.

An aside - here's a quote from the book You Lost Me that describes disconnects between young adult Christians and the church:

"A related gap is the church's loss of 'creatives,', musicians, visual and performance artists, filmmakers, poets, skaters, and surfers, storytellers, writers, and so in...Frequently the modern church struggles to know what to do with right-brained talent. What has traditionally been a fertile gruond for the arts - the church - is now generally perceived as uncreative, overprotective, and stifling."

I must say that I am very impressed with Intervarsity's commitment to give students opportunities to glorify God through all their talents.

3) Lesser focus on poverty/social justice and more on evangelism and sharing the gospel.

One of my friends here in Fort Wayne told me that he was at the last Urbana, and he said that he was bothered by the you-should-feel-guilty-for-buying-Starbucks-coffee-because-there-are-starving-kids-everywhere mentality. Even though I didn't really feel the same way as him, I could definitely see why. This year, the focus seemed to be exclusively on evangelism and the proclamation of the gospel, and there was very little time dedicated during plenaries to social justice issues, such as human trafficking, poverty, and world hunger. This is probably a function of the differing themes, with the theme for Urbana 2012 being "The Great Invitation", a seeming evangelistic-leaning theme, and the theme for Urbana 2009 being "The Word Became Flesh", which focused on incarnational living and missions. Not really better or worse either way, just different.

This last one is just my opinion, but:

4) Overall, less memorable speakers.

This is super subjective, but I think I enjoyed the speakers at the last Urbana significantly more than this one. My sister made the observation the speakers this year seemed to be really, really excellent (David Platt, Ram) or either forgettable (Terry LeBlanc, IFES guy) or didn't seem to have much to offer (Chai Ling, Brazilian lady). I really don't mean any of these speakers disrespect, as they all brought something different to the table (Urbana theme reference intended), but three years ago, I felt like my mind was constantly being blown by the speakers and I didn't feel that way this year. Maybe it's just because I've already been to an Urbana. Or maybe it's because there were less speakers this year due to the Join In. Or maybe that I connected better to the theme three years ago. Either way, off the top of my head, I remember loving the talks by Ramez, Oscar M, Sundar Krishnan, the rich Indian woman, Patrick Fung, and Korean-missionary-to-Japan Oh. Each of those talks and testimonies were life-changing to me in some way. This year, I just didn't feel that way about the speakers. Again, it could just be that I'm much different this year or that the topics spoken on didn't connect to me as well, but I definitely think I enjoyed the speakers more three years ago.

In addition, I enjoyed the exposition of Ramez Attalah more than Calisto Odede, but there really wasn't too much of a difference. Maybe I was just swayed by being overly moved by Ramez's awesome plot twist that made him choke up in front of everyone. But Calisto's "If it's not good enough for local consumption, it's not good enough for export" line was also really awesome.

All in all, the two Urbana's were actually very similar, with the main difference being difference emphases, which is probably from the theme difference. If you asked me, "So which Urbana was better?", I would respond, "It's not really for me to judge which one was 'better', but God worked in my life profoundly in different ways through both conferences."

Urbana 2012 Posts

Expectations
Early Distractions
Major Differences
Denis (and Vladomir)
New Friends

Urbana 2012 - Early Distractions

Upon arriving at Urbana, I found myself immediately distracted. I was all of a sudden surrounded by tons of young people who loved God. Moreover, there were possible more Asians at Urbana than all of the Asians in Fort Wayne combined. All of these "unfamiliar" factors, paired with the fatigue of driving, made me internally irritable and susceptible to sin and distraction.

1) Judgement

My immediate reaction often when seeing other Christians, especially students, is to judge. I size them up spiritually. I mentally rate their chapters and think about if they look "Christian" or not. I find the need to be the "best Christian" in the room. I get annoyed when others are loud or unruly, and secretly condemn as self-righteous those who are reading their Bibles out in public. Luckily, well more like unluckily, I've dealt this this extensively in the past, and was able to catch myself and fight the temptation to judge others. That said, constantly suppressing unloving thoughts is still a long, tiring, distracting mental battle.

2) Judgement v2

Forgive me for the crappy euphemistic title, but I couldn't think up any other title that would this sound not creepy. Basically, I was experiencing the crippling distraction that a young, single guy who hasn't met anyone potential "suitees" in an entire year experiences when he's all of a sudden surrounded by Christian girls everywhere. Y'all know what I mean, so I'll just leave it at that.

3) Worrying about others

Often times, my desire for others to fully enjoy and experience God spills over into an overly controlling will for others. Because this was the first time my parents were at Urbana, I really paid attention to their reactions to the various speakers, and I got antsy or even upset if I felt like they weren't enjoying their time there. This worry was also present in the more mundane, everyday aspects of Urbana, like having worrying that the walk from the hotel to the convention center would be too far for my parents,worrying that my parents might get lost in the crowd, and wondering when my family was going to arrive at Bible study after I had saved a row of seats for them. This worrying gradually faded, as I learned to trust both God and my family more - that God would speak to to my parents in whatever way He desired, and that my family was going to arrive reasonably on time to most things and not get lost getting there.

The first night I was there, these distractions really bothered me, as I felt like they were keeping me from all the great things that God wanted to teach me. Thinking back on it though, I think that God was specifically teaching me through these distractions. I was reminded of my poisonous pride, my circumstantial contentment, and my controlling tendencies. Like Calisto Odede (the expositor this year) said the next day, I needed to deal with my sin and the hardness of my heart before I could expect God to speak in my life elsewhere. As I'll share a bit more in the posts to come (that I've already started writing), God used Urbana to force me to inspect my heart in ways that I haven't in a while, and these distractions early in the conference are a great example of that.

I'd also like to thank all of you who prayed for me these last few days while I was at Urbana. I can say with certainty that God honored those prayers, and God gave me the eyes to see the darkness of my heart and the strength to rely on Him more, and these distraction faded into the background as the week went on.

Urbana 2012 Posts

Expectations
Early Distractions
Major Differences
Denis (and Vladomir)
New Friends

Urbana 2012 - Expectations

A couple of you have emailed me asking me how Urbana was for me, and I haven't really known how to answer. There have been some really awesome, spiritually refreshing "earthquake" parts, and there have been other more subtle, encouraging "whisper" parts. I hope to write up some thoughts about Urbana in the next few days to share my experience this year.

I think it would be appropriate to start from the beginning, with my expectations going into the conference. On the drive to Urbana, I asked myself the question, "What am I trying to get out of coming to Urbana?" It was a question that I didn't have the chance to think about much before the conference, with the business of friends visiting and then my family spending Christmas at my apartment. And to be honest, I had a hard time coming up with anything concrete. I think I had originally registered because 1) Iris was going to go, 2) I knew it was an awesome conference and wanted to go again, 3) I wanted to see old AIV friends again, and 4) I wanted my parents to experience Urbana. It's obvious that none of those reasons were expectations or hope for God to work specifically in my life. So what exactly did I want?

I wasn't really sure what I wanted to get out of it, but I knew what I wasn't trying to get out of Urbana.

1) I wasn't seeking a boost out of a spiritual high.

Urbana will give any Christian a spiritual high, no doubt. But that's not why I was going. I wasn't under the illusion that the conference would fix any of my spiritual problems or that I would be left in a permanent spiritual high. Prior to attending Urbana, I had just sent an email to a friend about how Christian living is all about the daily grind, the daily decisions to deny self and follow Jesus. I knew that a spiritual high isn't a true solution, and I wasn't seeking it at Urbana.

2) I wasn't seeking an immediate ministry calling.

Unlike three years ago, when my future was pretty much up for grabs, I now have a stable job that I enjoy and a lot of school debt that needs to be paid off. I don't feel any real tug towards ministry (yet) and I feel pretty certain about my calling to be here in Fort Wayne, at least for the short term. And I feel content with that calling. Even last year, I was really hoping I would be called to ministry, and I even tried to earn that calling, in some ways. But not now. Fort Wayne is where I need to be now, and it's still too early to think years into the future, as there's so much that can happen and change.

So what was I expecting out of Urbana? I don't think I really knew. I wasn't very well-prepared spiritually. I knew I wanted to hear God speak to me, but I wasn't sure how and in what context. Luckily, we worship a gracious God who chooses to surprise us, even though we aren't deserving. The following posts will expand on the many things, both big and small, that God blessed me with in my days at Urbana.

Urbana 2012 Posts

Expectations
Early Distractions
Major Differences
Denis (and Vladomir)
New Friends