I think it would be appropriate to start from the beginning, with my expectations going into the conference. On the drive to Urbana, I asked myself the question, "What am I trying to get out of coming to Urbana?" It was a question that I didn't have the chance to think about much before the conference, with the business of friends visiting and then my family spending Christmas at my apartment. And to be honest, I had a hard time coming up with anything concrete. I think I had originally registered because 1) Iris was going to go, 2) I knew it was an awesome conference and wanted to go again, 3) I wanted to see old AIV friends again, and 4) I wanted my parents to experience Urbana. It's obvious that none of those reasons were expectations or hope for God to work specifically in my life. So what exactly did I want?
I wasn't really sure what I wanted to get out of it, but I knew what I wasn't trying to get out of Urbana.
1) I wasn't seeking a boost out of a spiritual high.
Urbana will give any Christian a spiritual high, no doubt. But that's not why I was going. I wasn't under the illusion that the conference would fix any of my spiritual problems or that I would be left in a permanent spiritual high. Prior to attending Urbana, I had just sent an email to a friend about how Christian living is all about the daily grind, the daily decisions to deny self and follow Jesus. I knew that a spiritual high isn't a true solution, and I wasn't seeking it at Urbana.
2) I wasn't seeking an immediate ministry calling.
Unlike three years ago, when my future was pretty much up for grabs, I now have a stable job that I enjoy and a lot of school debt that needs to be paid off. I don't feel any real tug towards ministry (yet) and I feel pretty certain about my calling to be here in Fort Wayne, at least for the short term. And I feel content with that calling. Even last year, I was really hoping I would be called to ministry, and I even tried to earn that calling, in some ways. But not now. Fort Wayne is where I need to be now, and it's still too early to think years into the future, as there's so much that can happen and change.
So what was I expecting out of Urbana? I don't think I really knew. I wasn't very well-prepared spiritually. I knew I wanted to hear God speak to me, but I wasn't sure how and in what context. Luckily, we worship a gracious God who chooses to surprise us, even though we aren't deserving. The following posts will expand on the many things, both big and small, that God blessed me with in my days at Urbana.
Urbana 2012 Posts
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