Rejected Ideas for Iris' Wedding

Iris (my little sister) is getting married in exactly a week, and I'm totally pumped for her wedding. Since Iris and James have been engaged, I've been throwing them a bunch of ideas that I think would spice up the wedding. Most of them (actually all of them, thinking about it) have been rejected. But here's a list of the things I proposed to Iris.

[Note: If you are destined to be my future spouse. Please stop reading here. Thank you.]

Embarrassing Toast - In Review

I've been threatening Iris for months with telling all the embarrassing stories of our childhood for my toast. I still have a week of leverage to use this threat!

Wedding Gifts Commission - Rejected

I would graciously take on the responsibilities as the person in charge of collecting gifts, and as a token of gratitude for my service, Iris and James would "reward" me with 10% of the total gifts. Unfortunately, Iris and James have already found people who would do this task for free...

Pregnant Sumo - Rejected

Iris: Yes Sheila is coming!
Iris: she will be very pregnant
Iris: like sara
Caleb: for some entertainment
Caleb: there should be a pregnant sumo
Caleb: stomp...stomp...SMASH
Iris: you are so terrible...

Have Timmy be a Centerpiece - In Review

Who knows. Maybe Tim will agree to this!

Poop bouquet toss - Rejected

Picture this. Iris is turned around, and all the single ladies are crowded behind her in anticipation of the bouquet toss and the chance to be the next one to marry. Iris hands suddenly lift from in front of her, and all the girls scream in delight, until they realize that it's not a bouquet that has been tossed, but a pile of stinky poo! The screams of delight quickly become screams of horror, as all of the girls try to run to avoid the poo. Some girls, however, are not so lucky and are trapped in the middle of the panicking crowd. The original pile of poop separates in the air, greatly increasing its area of effect. Any attempt to flee is now futile. The poop rains down from above, spoiling the new, hundred dollar dresses on the unfortunate upset, once-hopeful girls. What a glorious scene it would be.

Daddy-daughter dance to dad's own singing - Rejected

Few of you probably know this, but despite being as close to tone-deaf as someone possibly can be, my dad loves to invent his own songs and sing them repeatedly until he gets tired or my mom tells him to stop. Iris and I have obviously memorized many of the numerous songs he likes to sing, and I thought that it would be fitting, hilarious, and emotionally moving to record my dad singing his silly songs and have Iris and him dance to it. Unfortunately, neither party agreed.

Nose Pore Cleaner Wedding Favor and Guestbook - Rejected

Recently, my mom has been on a mission to clear the dirty pores in my noes, so she bought those strips that stick to your nose and pull out all the gunk from your pores. Iris and I have both used them, as they're pretty fun to use and it's amazing the stuff that can get embedded in your nose. After Jenny and Steven's wedding, we were discussing how much we liked the stamp guestbook idea, and thought that maybe we could give each guest a nose pore cleaner, and then paste it onto some sheet and write their name next to it, kind of like Jenny and Steven's thing!

    

[This photo stolen from Jenny's Facebook]

Now try to imagine around 200 of these things
on a sheet of paper!

Kinda hard to believe that this girl is getting married in a week!

And her big brother is totally excited for her!

Napoleon Card Game Rules

Introduction

Napoleon is a fun, casual trick-based 5-player game with a hint of deception and considerable more depth than the similar and very-popular Euchre. I was taught this game by a college friend from the West Coast (Arthur!), and I only recently learned that Napoleon isn't an established game and may have actually been invented by him(or a friend). Because I had previously forgotten the rules when I wanted to teach it to some friends and couldn't find any documentation of Napoleon anywhere on the internet (other than the Euchre-like game that shares its name), I've decided to create the first ever official manual for Napoleon.

Overview

Napoleon is a 5-player trick-based alliance card game, with similar game play to Bridge, where teams change each round and are partially hidden for a portion of each round. Each round, players bid to be Napoleon, who declares the trump suit and a card to determine his temporarily secret teammate, the Secretary. All players that are not Napoleon and his Secretary are members of the 3-pronged Allies, fighting to prevent Napoleon and his Secretary from winning the previously bid number of tricks.

Setup

Napoleon is played with a standard 52-card deck and five players.

Each player is dealt 10 cards, and the remaining 2 cards, known as "the warchest", are dealt face-down in the center. Dealing responsibility is rotated clockwise.

Bidding Phase

In this phase, players bid on the number of tricks to win as Napoleon. Unlike bridge, bids do not include a trump suit, which is declared after the auction phase.

The previous round's Secretary begins bidding. For the first round of the game, the player to the left of the dealer begins bidding. Bidding can begin at any number of tricks but cannot exceed 10, which is the total number of tricks in a round. Bidding continues clockwise, where players can either make a higher bid or pass, until all players have passed or the bid has reached 10. Once a player has passed bidding, he cannot bid again that round.

The player with the winning bid is Napoleon for the round.

Napoleon's Declaration Phase

1) Napoleon picks up the two cards in the warchest into his hand, keeps his desired 10-card hand, and returns two cards to the warchest. Note that Napoleon does not need to keep either of the cards from the warchest and can choose to return one or both of the cards back to the warchest. The warchest is to remain face down for the remainder of the round.

2) Napoleon declares the trump suit or makes a "no trump" declaration.

Example: "Spades are trump."

3) Napoleon chooses a secret Secretary by declaring a card that is not in his hand as the "coup (as in coup d'état) card", and the player holding the coup card becomes Napoleon's Secretary. The coup card is often the highest trump that Napoleon does not hold. At this point in the round, only the Secretary knows the identity of all the players in the game. As in all other phases of the game, table talk is not permitted, and no lobbying for the position of Secretary is allowed.

Example: "The player with the King of Spades is my Secretary."

Tricks Phase

Napoleon leads (plays the first card) for the first trick. Following game play is identical to standard trick-based games (such as bridge), with the following exceptions.

Napoleon and Secretary vs. The Allies

Rounds are played 2 players against 3 players, where Napoleon and his Secretary are on one team and the three remaining players are on the opposing team, known as "The Allies". Napoleon and the Secretary win the round if their combined number of tricks won is greater than or equal to the number of tricks previously bid by Napoleon. Otherwise, the Allies win the round. In the beginning of the round, alliances are hidden, with only the Secretary having full knowledge of each player's identity.

Secretary Reveal and the Coup Card

At any one point in the round, if the coup card has not yet been played by the Secretary, Napoleon may say "Secretary, reveal yourself". By asking the Secretary to reveal himself, Napoleon is asking the Secretary to do the two following things:

1. Win this trick.
2. Use the coup card if necessary.

For the current trick, the Secretary has the additional advantage of the ability to play the coup card without following suit. In other words, the coup card can be played regardless of the previous cards played in the trick. If the coup card is the highest trump that Napoleon doesn't hold, playing the coup card guarantees the trick for Napoleon and the Secretary.

However, the Secretary is not required to play the coup card. If the Secretary believes he can win the trick without using the coup card, he can choose not to use it and save the card for future use. After the trick, the coup card returns to it's normal function, and Napoleon may not ask the Secretary to reveal himself again. The Secretary of the round will not be made obvious until the coup card appears in normal game play.

Note that when playing with no trump, the power of the coup card is greatly reduced. Also, it is possible for Napoleon to say "Secretary, reveal yourself" in a trick where the Secretary has already played a card. In this situation, there is nothing the Secretary can do, and the opportunity for special use of the coup card is lost.

Scoring

If Napoleon and the Secretary win the round, each player receives 2 points. If the Allies win, each of the three winning players receive 1 point.

The first of the five players to reach 10 points wins.

Continue playing rounds until a player reaches 10 points, starting with the bidding phase at the beginning of each round.

Becoming Discontent in 7 Easy Steps

Are you tired of being happy with your life? Sick of living an anxiety-life? Worry about your worrylessness no more! Here's 7 easy steps to living a perpetually discontent life, a process I personally perfected after a honeymoon-like week of hanging out with old friends July 4th week, where my yearning for deep community (and other less honorable desires) was rekindled and set ablaze. All the suppressed dissatisfaction with my life ate away at my heart, and I found myself coveting the lives of some of my old friends and dreaming of my own imaginary perfect future.

And so here, free of charge (for the first 30 days), is this 7-step EZ-Discontentment system. Enjoy.

1. Create a mental picture of your unattainable ideal life.
   
   
2. Compare yourself to other people, especially people that seem to be living a better life than you.
   
   
3. Think about all the possessions you don't have and all the experiences you're missing out on.
   
   
4. Puff yourself up and list the things you think you deserve but don't have at the moment.
   
   
5. Ignore the blessings in your life and the struggles of others.
   
   
6. Neglect your relationship with Jesus.
   
   
7. Repeat daily.

Sleep - A Divine Gift

As mentioned in a previous post, the single most difficult obstacle in my whole ACL surgery experience has been my inability to sleep well. The soreness of my knees has made it difficult to fall asleep and painful stiffness wakes me up multiple times a night. The first couple of weeks after the surgery, I woke up around once every two or three hours, sometimes laying awake for an hour or more just begging God to put me to sleep and pleading with my body to go to sleep. The last few weeks have been much better for me, as I only wake up completely once or twice throughout the night, though my tossing-and-turning-filled sleep still hasn't been great. In the last five weeks, I have only slept once continuously for more than 6 hours, and that was after a ridiculously tiring day on my camping trip last week. 

I've always taken a good night's sleep for granted. A trait inherited from my father and perfected in college, I've always had the ability to fall asleep easily anywhere at any time despite noise, light, or other distractions. Thus, I've never understood the struggle of those who have trouble sleeping and secretly considered most claims of insomnia to be gross exaggerations and general falsehoods, never expecting to experience it personally. Difficulty walking and hurting knees were expected after surgery, but I had no idea that disrupted sleep would torment me the most.

Below is a passage of The Life of Elijah, an awesomely dense book PB and I started reading together years ago and I still haven't finished. When I first read the passage weeks before my surgery, I found it very odd that AW Pink would spend a relatively large chunk of  a chapter talking about the seemingly misplaced topic of sleep. In my recent struggles with sleep, I've found deep meaning in Pink's digression on the subject, realizing that I was blinded to God's grace and taking His gift of sleep for granted, and it was only in my affliction that I gained sight of how important sleep is. 

I know it's a fairly long excerpt, but I highly encourage you to read it all carefully, reflecting on the state of your own heart and giving thanks to God for his mercies in your life. 

"[Elijah] 'slept under a juniper tree,' v.5. But the force of that is apt to be lost upon us, in this God-dishonouring day, when there are few left who realize that 'He giveth His beloved sleep,' Psa. 127.2. It was something better than 'nature taking its course': it was the Lord refreshing the weary prophet.

How often is it now lost sight of that the Lord cares for the bodies of His saints as well as for their souls. This is more or less recognized and owned by believers in the matter of food and clothing, health and strength, but it is widely ignored by many concerning the point we are here treating of. Sleep is as imperative for our physical well-being as is food and drink, and the one is as much the gift of our heavenly Father as is the other. We cannot put ourselves to sleep by any effort of will, as those who suffer with insomnia quickly discover. Nor does the exercise and manual labour of itself ensure sleep: have you ever lain down almost exhausted and then found you were 'too tired to sleep'? Sleep is a Divine gift, but the nightly recurrence of it blinds us to the fact.  

Alas, how little are we affected by the Lord's goodness and grace unto us. The unfailing recurrence of His mercies both temporally and spiritually inclines us to take them as a matter of course. So dull of understanding are we, so cold our hearts Godward, it is to be feared that most of the time we fail to realize whose loving hand it is which is ministering to us. Is not this the reason why we do not begin really to value our health until it is taken from us, and not until we spend night after night tossing upon a bed of pain do we perceive the worth of regular sleep with which we were formerly favoured? And such vile creatures are we that, when illness and insomnia come upon us, instead of improving and repenting of our former ingratitude, and humbly confessing the same to God, we murmur and complain at the hardness of our present lot and wonder what we have done to deserve such treatment. O let those of us who are still blessed with good health and regular sleep fail not daily to return thanks for such privileges and earnestly seek grace to use the strength from them to the glory of God."

- The Life of Elijah by AW Pink 

Previous Posts

ACL Post-Surgery Week 2
ACL Post-Surgery Week 1
My ACL Reconstruction
My Torn ACL

Shattered Pride

July 4th Week 2013 - Good Times with Old Friends

This last week, I went camping with old college friends at Pictured Rocks in the UP of Michigan and then hung out in Ann Arbor before college friends' wedding. It was great to spend so much time with old friends!

Friends are for...

• Feeding you a soft drink while you drive.

• Helping set up camp.

• Finishing leftover food.

• Manually steering your paddleboat's broken rudder.

• Fending off bugs in the middle of the forest with a towel (Thanks, Arthur!)

• Playing Nertz in the library.

• Reliving old times with you. 

• Carrying your fold-up chair for you because you're a cripple. (Thanks, Will!)

• Ironing your shirt for you. (Thanks, Maggie!)

• Dressing up together.

• Lending you a belt that you forgot to wear to a wedding. (Thanks, Jack!)

NBA Draft Grades - A Michigan Fan's Perspective

	Team	Pick	Grade	Reason
1	Cleveland Cavaliers	Anthony Bennett	F-	Points deducted for: - Choosing Bennett. - Passing on Trey Burke.
2	Orlando Magic	Victor Oladipo	B	Points awarded for:  - Choosing a stud in Oladipo. Any B1G fan knows how good he is. Points deducted for: - Passing on Trey Burke.
3	Washington Wizards	Otto Porter	F	Points deducted for: - Being the Wizards. - Passing on Trey Burke.
4	Charlotte Bobcats	Cody Zeller	F--	Points deducted for: - Reaching for skinny, weak Cody Zeller. - Passing on Trey Burke.
5	Phoenix Suns	Alex Len	F	Points deducted for: - Passing on Trey Burke.
6	New Orleans Pelicans	Nerlens Noel	B	Points awarded for:  - Not discriminating against someone with a reconstructed ACL. Points deducted for: - Being named the Pelicans. - Passing on Trey Burke.
7	Sacramento Kings	Ben McLemore	F	Points deducted for: - Choosing a non-leader onto a team without leadership. - Passing on Trey Burke, who did this against McLemore. Hah!
8	Detroit Pistons	Kentavious Caldwell-Pope	D	Points awarded for:  - Choosing a player with a cool name. Points deducted for: - Passing on Trey Burke.
9	Utah Jazz (via Minnesota)	Trey Burke	A++++	Points awarded for:  - Choosing the John Wooden National POY - Choosing a Michigan Man. - Choosing the best point guard in the draft. - Being a great pick-and-roll fit for Trey. - Being willing to sacrifice two important picks for this important player.
10	Portland Trailblazers	C.J. McCollum	B	Sorry, wasn't paying attention to this pick because I was too busy being excited about Trey Burke. Here. Have a B.
11	Philadelphia 76ers	Michael-Carter Williams	D	Still wasn't really paying attention. But hey MCW, remember that Final Four game where you were supposed to shut down Trey Burke? Hah!
12...21				Who cares. Didn't know these players, and it wasn't really time for Tim Hardaway Jr to be picked yet.
22	Brooklyn Nets	Mason Plumlee	F	Points deducted for: - Last few Duke big men are bench-warmers. Why will Plumlee be any different? - Passing on Tim Hardaway Jr.
23	Indiana Pacers	Solomon Hill	D	Points awarded for:  - Choosing a player with a Biblical name. Points deducted for: - Passing on Tim Hardaway Jr.
24	New York Knicks	Tim Hardaway Jr.	A++	Points awarded for:  - Choosing a Michigan Man. - Being a big market team that will allow for maximum exposure. Points deducted for: - The inevitable Melo ball-hogging that will reduce Timmy's opportunities.
25-60				Welp. No more reason to watch the draft! Congrats Trey and Timmy!

Is Substitutionary Atonement Unjust?

Christians often take substitutionary atonement for granted. However, this essential Christian doctrine can be a stumbling block for non-Christians and a point of contention for anti-theists, as substituionary atonement seems to fly in the face of personal moral responsibility, which is what we believe society to be built upon. Here are a few introductory reasons why substitionary atonement as decreed by God isn't immoral or unjust.

If God accepts Jesus' death as punishment for our sins, doesn't that make God unjust because we didn't receive the punishment we deserved and Jesus was punished undeservedly?

1. If God defines justice, what he says is just is just.

The easiest reason that substitutionary atonement is just is "because God says so". I know it sounds like a cop-out answer, but if we presume a God that is in fact God and is the ultimate judge and definer of justice, if God says something is just, it must be so. To deviate from this conclusion, you need to either claim that God knows justice but is acting unjustly and then lying about and denying His injustice (which seems incredibly petty for an all-powerful being) or you need to admit to holding a greater knowledge of justice than God himself.

2. Jesus is God, and that changes everything.

Although it may be temping to compare substitutionary atonement with paying off someone else's debt or a Tale-of-Two-Cities-esque dying in place of another, the fact that Jesus is God, holy and morally perfect, changes everything. Jesus dying for sinners is much more than Ned Stark dying for one of his bannermen (an illustration, no spoilers) and is even much more than Ned Stark dying for a Lannister. So while it certainly seems to be true that one man dying in the place of another man is unjust, we need to remember that Jesus is no ordinary man. In fact, Christianity actually affirms that one sinful man cannot provide substitutionary atonement for another sinful man, meaning that my death cannot wipe away the penalty of your sins, nor can your death mine. Jesus' deity and moral perfection make him the only worthy substitutionary atonement, the only death God will accept in the place of a sinner's.

At this point, it is still possible to make the same objection as before - how can it be just even for a morally perfect God to die for a sinner? At this point, we must admit the greatness of the mystery and the finitude of our knowledge and say "because God says so." [See point 1].

3. Yes, it certainly is injustice, in a sense.

Upon reflection, the moral perfection of Jesus, our substitutionary atonement, seems actually to make his death even more unjust, and most Christians have been deeply moved when considering the weightiness of this matter. It is true - Christ died a death he did not deserve so that those who live for him can live lives they do not deserve. It is also true - Christ was executed after a fake trial with false testimony. So in two different senses of "injustice", there certainly is "injustice" in Christ's death for us. However, in the grand legal aspect of justification, we can rest assured that God's wrath for our sins has been satisfied.

In the end, Christ's substitionary atonement, though problematic for the non-believer, causes the Christian to be immensely and humbly grateful that we have a God that loves us so. If you have friends that are struggling with this issue, I hope that God opens their eyes and you can witness their skepticism miraculously turn to gratitude.

And can it be that I should gain

an interest in the Savior's blood!

Died he for me? who caused his pain!

For me? who him to death pursued?

Amazing love! How can it be

that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

Amazing love! How can it be

that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

ACL Post-Surgery Week 2

Today is the two week anniversary of my surgery. Since last Friday, I've been staying in my apartment with my Mom, and since there really hasn't been anything exciting or that different from my last post, I'll just update a bit about my progress.

Progress

Walking - I can walk much more normal now, and can walk a bit longer than I could last week, where I was basically only walking to the bathroom and back. 

Sitting - Kind of surprisingly to me, sitting has been more uncomfortable than I expected, and I can't seem to sit for more than an hour or two. I think its a combination of the compression of my tube socks on swelling and having my legs bent for a long time, but it's hard to say what exactly the problem is. I was expecting to return to work this week, but since I can't sit for long, I think I'm going to wait a bit more before I go to work.

What my scars look like right now

Some interesting bruising on my ACL leg

Hardships

Sleeping - I've had difficulty sleeping the last two weeks mainly because I move a lot in my sleep, and I wake up every time I shift positions because of the soreness of my knees. I wake up a few times a night, every two hours or so, moaning and groaning and shifting positions. It's pretty frustrating and annoying not being able to sleep well, but I make up my poor sleep with daily naps. 

Social Withdrawal - For an extrovert like me, being locked up in a room for two weeks isn't easy, even with my parents to keep my company. Having people over for Bible study this week and going to watch pickup were super exciting for me and provided a huge emotional lift. 

Watching friends playing ultimate

Next Steps

I'm going in for my two week checkup at the doctor's office tomorrow, and I'm hoping that I'll be cleared to drive and maybe not have to wear these fashionable yet annoying tube socks anymore. 

Tube socks for compression I've been wearing for the last two weeks.

Previous Posts

ACL Post-Surgery Week 1
My ACL Reconstruction
My Torn ACL

Shattered Pride

ACL Post-Surgery Week 1

As usual, this post is a few days late. Here's a recap of what my first week post-surgery was like, along with some fun pictures. Thanks for all the texts and phone calls of concern and encouragement. They've meant a lot!

Monday - Surgery Day

Having stayed the previous night in the hospital hotel connected to the hospital, I arrived at the outpatient surgery center at 7 AM. Before long, I was brought to the back for surgery prep, changing into the fashionable surgery gown, having my IV inserted (which was very uncomfortable), and having my knees shaved.

Just seeing this picture makes me queesy

They shaved all my knee hair!

After waiting for a bit, I said goodbye to my parents and was wheeled into the surgery room, where I immediately felt like a NASCAR in a pit crew, with a bunch of different doctors and nurses working on different parts of me. A little tranquilizer and anesthesia later, I was asleep.

...And I woke up shivering with a hurting throat at around 11:30 AM. We stayed in one of the hospital rooms until 7 AM the next morning, when I was wheeled to the hospital hotel room that we would stay in until Friday. I ate a lot of food, took a lot of medication, and all in all, felt pretty good because of all the painkillers I was on.

Watching Pacers-Heat Game 7 in the hospital

Draining tubes from my knees

Where the tubes drained

Tuesday - Friday - Hospital Hotel

We spent the next few days in the hospital hotel. Each day basically went like this, with some book reading sprinkled in between the eating, exercises, and the sleeping.

9 AM - Wake up and use the bathroom. Also, breakfast.
10 AM - Daily Exercises #1
12 PM - Lunch (Fast Food / Hotel Cafeteria)
1 PM - Nap
3 PM - Daily Exercises #2
6PM - Dinner (Fast Food)
8 PM - TV (Cop Show or NBA Finals)
10 PM - Daily Exercises #3
12 AM - Sleep

Hardee's for dinner...the second time.

The days in the hotel were particularly difficult, and I was in a lot of pain doing just about everything because I was off of those awesome super-strong painkillers that I had in the hospital. Also, my knees bloated up with swelling because the draining tubes had been removed before I left the hospital. Good thing my parents were there to help me do just about everything, including doing some exercises of their own!

The hardest part of the whole ordeal was probably using the bathroom. Its awfully hard to get down on the toilet when you can't bend your legs, and even harder getting up! the first few days, I needed both of my parents to grab an arm each to drag me to my feet after being on the toilet. It's pretty funny thinking about it now, but it totally sucked then.

Friday - Going home

After stopping in at the doctor's office for physical therapy Friday morning, we drove back to Fort Wayne, where the next few days were basically spent as they were in the hotel, just with good home cooking instead of Hardee's and McDonald's. I'll post more about my time at home soon. And by soon, I mean when I feel like not procrastinating!

Sprawled out on the back seat on the way home

Previous Posts

My ACL Reconstruction
My Torn ACL

Shattered Pride

My ACL Reconstruction

Twelve hours from now, I'll be having my ACL reconstruction surgery! This whole experience feels like an adventure to me, so I'm pretty excited for this surgery and the next couple weeks of rehab (see the "what I'm looking forward to section below). I also obviously can't wait until I'm fully recovered so I can get out on the field and play! Here's a rundown of some of the details of tomorrow.

Hospital - Indiana University Health Methodist Hospital

This hospital is located in downtown Indy. Too bad Game 7 of Pacers-Heat isn't in Indy, or we would be able to hear the awesome cheering and rioting after the Pacers beat the Heat.

Surgeon - Doctor Shelbourne

I found him on this US News page of top orthopedic surgeons in Indiana. According to the ranking, Dr. Shelbourne's deemed "among the top 1% in the nation in his specialty." He specializes in knee surgeries and have done tons of ACL reconstructions. He's the Purdue team surgeon and even knows Dr. James Andrews! Pretty cool.

Procedure - ACL Reconstruction with Opposite Knee Patellar Tendon Graft

Basically, they're going to take the Patellar tendon from my good right knee and put it into my left knee as an ACL. The patellar tendon graft is the what AP and RGIII and most professional athletes get. Because the graft is coming from my opposite leg, I will need to rehab both knees to fully recover, and the patellar tendon of the graft should heal completely.

Surgery Timeline

6:30 AM - Check in at hospital
9:30 AM - Surgery
11:30 AM - Wake up with a new ACL

I'll be in the hospital until around 6 AM the next morning, so sorry ahead of time if I don't respond to the various texts of support that I am expecting from you all.

What I'm looking forward to after the surgery

- Pacers/Heat Game 7
- Reading a Dance of Dragons
- Reading Metaxes' Bonhoeffer
- Not working for 2 weeks and spending time with family

Previous Posts

My Torn ACL

Shattered Pride