Championship Press Conference

In our Joywok fantasy football league, some awesome members write news stories and press conferences for big events. I'm posting them here so they are public to all and are never lost. 

DECEMBER 24, 2013

David Du, manager of Infamous Bumpshead -

As your League Champion, I would like to take the time to thank the people who made this all possible.

Chalupa Batman, for proving to be a worthy adversary throughout the entire season and for knocking out Futt Bumblers in the semifinals, who I would have lost to otherwise. For this, I thank you.
The Pharma-niners, for trying as hard as you did in endlessly scouring the waiver wire. Your diligence forced me to stay on my toes. For this, I thank you.

Me Gronk You Long Time for giving my team its worst beatdown during the season. That bitter loss infused my team with a spirit of uncontainable vengeance. For this, I thank you.

Logan, for the rather epic season collapse, starting off 5-3 but ending with 4 straight losses sadly leaving you out of the playoffs. For this, I thank you.

And the rest of the league, for the easy wins and for beating up on each other.
A special shoutout goes to my core 4 starters of Tony Romo, AJ Green, Jamaal Charles, and Danny Woodhead for being the only reliable ones that went the whole distance. And to Rashad Jennings for being my most valuable pickup of the season by far. I don't think I had a team that particularly scared anyone, but when you have heart, that's all that matters.
It was a wild year - from winning my first 6 out of 7, to losing 4 out of my next 5, to turning it up big-time in the playoffs in rattling off 3 straight wins, I hope this can be a lesson to you all to never give up.
Until next year!

-- Written by David Du (Infamous Bumpshead)

Week 6 Joywok Fantasy Football League Preview

In our Joywok fantasy football league, some awesome members write news stories and press conferences for big events. I'm posting them here so they are public to all and are never lost. 

OCTOBER 12, 2013

PALISADES PARK – With 5 weeks into the 2013 Joywok Fantasy Football season, the top storyline can be summarized in one word: Parody. This is the second year that the Joywok League has expanded its playoffs to eight teams, up from the four postseason entrants in the initial two years of the league. After five contests, only one game separates the entire top half of the league from one another. In addition, if the current trend holds, for the first time in league history, a team with a losing record will be able to sneak into the playoffs. Once there, in a one-and-done scenario of the fantasy football playoffs, anything can happen, as witnessed by last year’s upset of 11-2 BetterFosterStronger in the first round by The Brady Bunch. Without further ado, here are the key matchups of Week 6.

Blowout Game of the Week:

While the Jacksonville vs. Denver game in the NFL has set a new Vegas record for largest point spread in history, that is nothing compared to upcoming contest between Infamous Bumpshead and WildWildWes, where Bumpshead is projected to demolish the league cell dweller by 59 points. General Manager David Du once again has his team in contention for a league title as he seeks his 3rd playoff appearance (not to mention, also a third semi-final appearance) in league history. Infamous Bumpshead currently leads the league with both a 4-1 record as well as 933 points scored, more than 12/game higher than 2nd place, Futt Bumblers.
On the other side of the ledger is WildWildWes. It seems as if this franchise still has not recovered from the first round knockout it suffered last year as the league’s top overall seed. After winning the 2011 championship as the Throwin (Te)Bows and running roughshod on the league to a 11-2 record last year, Joe C. entered the 2012 playoffs having won 9 of his last 10 contests. That would be the last highlight for the franchise as Joe C. has now added five straight losses to open the season to its first round upset. Much like their Jacksonville counterpart, WildWildWes struggles offensively, having gone over the 110 point mark just once all season while failing to reach the century mark in three other contests. In fact, WildWildWes owns four of the five lowest fantasy point totals all season. This is a historically bad team on the levels of 2012 Charlotte Bobcats, 2013 Houston Astros, and the 2008 Detroit Lions.

Prediction: Infamous Bumpshead dominates early and often and the commissioner is summoned around 4 PM to begin discussion of a fantasy mercy rule.

Pseudo Elimination Game of the Week

While neither team will be mathematically eliminated with a loss Sunday, the game between the Black Soldiers and Manning the Deck can result in the loser facing an uphill battle to make the playoffs during the 2nd half of the season. Both teams enter the weekend with losing records (Black Soldiers at 1-4 and Manning the Deck at 2-3). While it was previously mentioned that a losing team can very well make the playoffs this season, the odds will be stacked against the loser as they currently represent 2 of the 3 lowest scoring teams in the league, the other being WildWildWes who might need to be relegated after Week 14 to the NCAA. A 1-5 Black Soldiers or a 2-5 Manning the Deck team will not only need to almost run the table the rest of the way to secure the coveted 8th and final playoff spot, they will also need to significantly up their currently weekly scoring output to ensure they do not lose on tie breakers. The task is especially daunting considering that Manning the Deck will face 5 teams with winning records in their final 7 games while the Black Soldiers will play all four of the current 4-1 teams in the final 6 weeks of the season. A Blain Gabbert-like performance by Eli Manning on Thursday night did not get Manning the Deck the start it needs for this important contest but they can hope that the wide receiver spot in the Black Soldiers starting lineup continue to remain vacant once Sunday games kick off.

Prediction: Black Soldiers fills the vacant roster spot, takes a comfortable lead into Sunday night where it barely survives RGIII, and gives GM Brian Wuu his second victory of the season.

Game of the Week

In a battle between identical 4-1 teams, the Futt Bumblers will face off against the Pharma-Niners. In addition to their strong win-loss records, the two most experienced (aka old) GMs in the league also leads two of the four highest scoring teams. Earlier this week, Pharma-Niners GM, Matthew Lau, ceded to Futt Bumblers GM, Shawn Wu, that with star quarterback, Peyton Manning facing the lowly Jaguars this week, he is “tempted to not even [bother] drop a player to pick up a defensive player.” and have conceded that this should be an “automatic win” for GM Shawn Wu and his team. Ironically, it was Wu who was managed to not pick up a defensive player, incorrectly starting the inactive Charles Tillman. “We certainly didn’t do ourselves any favors there,” said Wu when reached for comments on Saturday evening, “the Pharma-Niners have a great team and we’ll have our hands full when we take the field Sunday. In a complete reversal of the Manning the Deck vs. Black Soldiers game, the winner of this game will be 5-1 and be in a commanding pole position to secure a high playoff seed.

Prediction: No predictions will be issued for this game, just know that after Monday night…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrOH-KHxXg0

Team to Watch This Week:

The GioDudes. With a 2-3 record, GM Caleb Tseng knows that his team is now entering a critical stretch of the season. After a heartbreaking loss to Matt Lau and the Pharma-Niners last week, a contest in which Tseng made the critical decision of not playing Alshon Jeffrey, Tseng learned earlier this week that he has now lost star wide receiver, Julio Jones for the season. He then watched Jeffrey return his lack of faith in Week 5 with a pedestrian 1 catch for 27 yards Thursday night. Facing the 4-1 Chalupa Batman on Sunday, it will be interesting to see how Tseng and his men respond to the latest setbacks.

-- Written by Shawn Wu (Futt Bumblers)

Blockbuster Trade Rocks Joywok Fantasy League

In our Joywok fantasy football league, some awesome members write news stories and press conferences for big events. I'm posting them here so they are public to all and are never lost. 

OCTOBER 4, 2013

PALISADES PARK – Though it has been more than a week, the full effect of arguably the greatest trade in the history of the 4-year history of the Joywok Fantasy Football League is still being felt. In a span of 24 hours, seventeen players were reshuffled from their original rosters, a change that can have major ramifications to all 12 teams for the remaining 12 weeks of the 2013 season.

According to insider sources, the trade originally came out of a proposed 3-team deal between Logan, Manning the Deck, and the GioDudes. Despite a 2-1 start, it has been an open secret throughout the league that GM Caleb Tseng of the GioDudes has been desperately shopping for upgrades to the quarterback and wide receiver positions. By last Monday night, Tseng has already designed the frameworks of two separate 3-team deals that will allow him to net
Matthew Stafford, Julio Jones, and Tavon Austin in one package or Demaryious Thomas and Calvin Johnson in another. The major players of both 3-team trades will involve Tseng and his GM counterpart, Tim Yu of Logan with Manning the Deck’s Thomas Wei and Black Soldiers’ Brian Wuu as supporting components of their respective deals.

As the night progressed, it became clear that the former trade proposal featuring Stafford, Jones, and Austin was gaining traction amongst all parties involved especially once it was agreed that Yu’s RB depth allows him to include Ryan Matthews to be sent to Manning the Deck to upgrade Wei’s weak running back core, which previously featured the under-performing Maurice Jones-Drew and Chris Johnson. There are doubts about how much the injury-prone
Matthews can strengthen Manning the Deck’s running back position, though by securing three high-talent players at the position, Wei does increase his chances of coming out with one top-tier RB out of the deal. For Logan, Yu
recognized the need for his team to have a top-notch player, and thus operated accordingly, trading a talented package that included Robert Griffin III, DeSean Jackson, amongst others in order to obtain LeSean McCoy, arguably the best running back this season. Though McCoy under-performed in his Logan debut (failing to score double digit points for the first time this season), he should prove to be a valuable addition to the Logan lineup while also allowing Yu to essentially corner the Philadelphia Eagles running game market as he now rosters both McCoy and his backup, Bryce Brown.

The trade was not without compromises from all three sides. Yu desperately wanted to avoid starting both Andre Johnson and Matt Schaub, whom he would receive from the GioDudes as part of the trade. His attempt to further dump Johnson to secure Cam Newton from Tseng was rebuffed quickly and sharply. “I was like wtfffff.” Laughed the GioDudes’ GM, “THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THE TRADE.”

Both Wei and Tseng also expressed sadness in sending away top players that were part of their original rosters. When asked about the trade, Wei admitted that “losing the only players that do anything every week” will be tough but the chance to upgrade both his running backs and gain a top-notch tight end in Jordan Cameron made the deal well worth it for his team. In addition, the trade forced Caleb Tseng to give up his top player, LeSean McCoy. “Man my
heart hurts. He’s my favorite player.” But kudos to Tseng in taking an objective approach towards the season as he puts all personal favoritisms aside in order to build upon last year’s playoff appearance and attempt to advance
past the 1st round for the first time in franchise history.

Once the trade was processed, Tseng continued his wheeling-and-dealing ways by completing his second blockbuster trade in as many days by sending Fred Jackson, Martellus Bennett, Miles Austin, DeAndre Jordan, Cam Newton, and BenJarvus Green-Ellis to the Black Soldiers for Alex Smith, Demaryious Thomas, and Arian Foster. The hope is clearly that Foster will supplant some of the lost production that resulted from the loss of McCoy. However, it remains to be seen whether the new quarterback pair of Stafford and Alex Smith is better than their predecessor, Newton and Schaub.

For the Black Soldiers, after last season’s 3-10 disaster, and a mediocre 1-2 start to the season, the thought process was clearly that a shakeup was necessary. However, perhaps even more important than hoping that the new Black Soldiers prove their roster spots worthy, GM Brian Wuu hopes that an easier shift in schedule will inspire a run into a potential playoff position. After one month into the season, the Black Soldiers lead the league in total points against including being on the receiving end of two 200+ point performances by opponents.

The four teams involved in last week’s player shakeup went a combined 1-3 last week with the only victory occurring when Logan beat the GioDudes 191-182 despite strong performances from each of the new GioDude players. Manning the Deck suffered the largest defeat of the season since the trade when they lost 190-109 to the Pharma-niners. Their 109 points was also the 4th lowest point total registered by any team this season. Meanwhile, the Black Soldiers fell to 1-3 when they lost 151-132 to Paul Blart JamaalCop as two of its new additions, Green-Ellis and Miles Austin combined to score 1.30 points. Currently, none of the four teams have records above .500 and it will be interesting to see what ramifications these moves will have the rest of the season both on their respective teams as well as to the overall playoff picture.

Finally, due to the lack of trade activity in recent years, the latest news once again brought attention to the fact that only the commissioner has the power to veto trades. While this is consistent with the practices of similar league entities such as the NBA and NFL, being that the commissioner is also the GM and owner of a team in the league, it raised the question of potential conflict of interest and a league-wide investigation will be conducted in the offseason on possible reforms to the issue.

Written by Shawn Wu (Futt Bumblers)

Career and Self-Glorification

Recently, I've struggled a lot with the feeling of purposelessness, questioning everything in my life, especially my career, and just asking myself "What am I doing with my life?". To me, it's been a mini quarter-life crisis. Until today, I've attributed all these feelings to a combination of loneliness and life and work transition. At church today, the sermon, titled "I need to be great", explored the desire to make a name for ourselves, to be great in the eyes of other people. While I've always known that this is something I've struggled with, I realized today that my recent existential crises and feelings of meaninglessness and purposelessness in my career all stem out of an understanding of the futility of the pursuit of self-glorification.

Living in Silicon Valley, I'm daily surrounded by people much smarter than me, much richer than me, and much more successful than me. I'm insignificant - a small fish swimming in an ocean of genius fishes and young millionaire fishes. And while this in-debt, reasonably talented fish does have an opportunity to end up with good money and a successful career, that's nothing special, nothing worth envying, praising or looking up to. And of course, he could wholeheartedly pursue the Silicon Valley dream of being a millionaire by 30 and retiring at 35, but he just simply isn't ambitious enough to "drop his nets and follow" that dream. This fish will never be "great", at least in the eyes of the world.

I've been pursuing self-glorification my entire life, especially when it comes to my career. And the reality that I am not and will never be "great" has put an end to that pursuit. And with my life and career's number one goal scratched off the list, I no longer know what to live for, who to live for. Knowing that I am not and probably won't ever be great even in Microsoft has sucked the joy and meaning out of work. I've also realized that a large part of my recent motivation to go into ministry is actually a desire to make a name for myself, as I tell myself that if I can't do it in the tech sector, perhaps my intellect, gifts, and talents will help me do it in the ministry sector.

God, I've always known in my head that I can't live both for Your name and for my own name, but I admit that I've been trying to do it in my career. God, I thank you for church today, that you speak through your Word and your servants who faithfully preach it. God, teach me what it means to do my work for your glory. Teach me what it means to live all of my life for your glory. I know I've prayed this prayer before but this time I'm praying this for my own sake, not the usual, admirable love for You and the desire to love the right Christian things. God, teach me to live for your glory because living for my own glory has brought me nowhere and will only continue to bring disappointment and discontentment, and I just can't live like that anymore. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

The Problem with Ken Ham

First off, I didn't watch all of the presentation. I watched about fifteen minutes of Ken Ham's presentation, a bit of the back and forth, and then some of the Q&A, about an hour in all. That said, having lived in the Bible belt in Fort Wayne for two years, I am already very familiar with Ken Ham, what he promotes, and his followers.

My main issue with Ken Ham isn't that he is a Young Earth Creationist, even though I think he's wrong. It's not even his fallacious arguments and faulty "scientific method". It's that Ken Ham elevates the means of creation to a primary issue, implying that "true" Christians believe in six day creation. In doing so, Ken Ham publicly presents a bastardized version of the gospel to the public, a gospel contaminated with non-essentials.

During the debate, when Ken Ham shared his "scientific" beliefs, he weaved in Jesus dying on the cross, forgiveness of sin, and the joy of living with God. At first, I was surprisingly delighted to hear the gospel presented to many who may not have heard it before. But then I realized/remembered. This gospel that Ken Ham preaches is one that seems to be contingent on belief in six day creation, a "confused gospel" which stains the beautiful truth of Jesus' death and resurrection. When asked why he believes the earth was created in 6 days, Ken Ham replies with something to the effect of "Because I believe the Bible to be true" and "Because I'm a Christian", implying that part of being a "Bible-believing Christian" is rejecting evolution and being a Young Earth Creationist. [src] [src2]

The belief in Ken Ham's head (and what all people listening to him will hear) is that the "fact" of six-day creation is on the same order as the fact of God's existence, the reliability of Scripture, and the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The elevation of a tertiary issue to a primary one is one that the conservative, fundamental church is prone to struggle with, but it's rarely as explicit as when Ken Ham shares what it means to be a Christian. Though Ken Ham may deny such theological narrowness, his behavior tells us otherwise. At one point in the "debate", Ken Ham was asked about all the religious and specifically Christian people who did not hold to six day creationism. Instead of affirming that Christians can legitimately differ on the issue of creation, Ken Ham skirted the question, as he seemed prone to do, and started talking about...something that I can't remember.

Some of you reading this may feel like this isn't such a big deal. So what if Ken Ham conflates Creationism and the gospel? He's just one guy, right? This may not feel like a big deal until you go to a church and hear the members talking about Christians who believe in evolution as heretics. It's might not feel like a big deal until you see a tract in a public place written by Ken Ham, including six day creation into the gospel narrative. It's not a big deal until you realize the deep roots the underdog, "they're out to get us" mentality that it shapes and the often anti-intellectual environment it fosters. As many of you know, I lived in Fort Wayne, Indiana for two years. Fort Wayne is Ken Ham country, and I've witnessed all of these things.

Ultimately, Ken Ham angers me not because of what I think are poor logical, philosophical, and scientific arguments - it's that those who listened in, Christian or non-Christian, left with a poor idea of what it means to be a Christian. To many non-Christians, Ken Ham is the reason they don't want to investigate what it means to be a Christian, even though every individual's eternal destiny has nothing to do with what he feels about evolution or creationism. Neither one's justification or sanctification is contingent on believing in six day creation. It has everything to do with what they think about Christ. And this is something that I have yet to hear Ken Ham say.

Blank Check

This is going to be a short post.

Today, I was listening to an awesome David Platt sermon on the Great Commission (video/links below), and he brought up the common, almost over-used illustration of giving our lives to God as a blank check.

"As followers of Christ we have sacrificed the right to determine the direction of our life. The language we use all the time is blank check. Every one of our lives, a blank check on the table, no strings attached. Our plans, our possessions, our bank accounts, where we live, our lifestyle, our future, our dreams, our ambitions, all on the table. Whatever you want me to do, God, whatever you want me to give, wherever you want me to go, no strings attached. This is not for super-Christians, this is for every follower of Christ. This is what it means to follow Christ."

As I listened to David Platt rattle off this list of stuff to give to God (which he did incredibly quickly, making this transcript very difficult to do), my initial reaction was, "I don't think giving any of those things over to God would be very difficult." To a large part, this is true. I don't really care much for money and I'm not really attached to any type of lifestyle or a particular line of work. But what would I have a hard time writing on my blank check? Reputation and recognition. This probably isn't surprising to most of you who know me, as this is something that I've struggled with my entire life. And like most deep heart issues, it isn't something that can be fixed simply by behavior, but it's something that requires a reorientation of the heart, which often is frustratingly slow.

I plan to write more on this subject at some point in the future (I already started a blank draft for it last week!), so I won't delve much deeper into this. But I ask you: What do you have a hard time putting on that blank check?

Why the Great Commission Is Great - David Platt - TGC13 Missions Conference from The Gospel Coalition on Vimeo.

Avoid Top Job Interview Mistakes

Some of you may not know this, but page hits on this blog are extremely important to me. As a result, I closely examine the content on top sites to see what they are doing to get all their hits. I saw this article on the front page of Yahoo News and was struck by the insight, expertise, genius, and literary prowess of this article - Avoid These Top College Admissions Interview Mistakes. I will try to imitate the brilliant techniques employed by the author and hope to give super helpful advice and draw in millions of clicks!

Acing a job admissions interview is exactly what you need to do to get hired, but having a bad interview will sink you. Don't fall into the latter category. The following are several of the top job interview mistakes - and ways to avoid making them.

1. Insulting your interviewer. While honesty is a trait looked for by most employers, insulting your interviewer is not the correct avenue to displaying this trait. No matter how overweight your interviewer is or how much you dislike their haircut or outfit, try your best not to insult your interviewer. Attempt to find other avenues of exhibiting honesty, perhaps by displaying your self-awareness by admitting to your own weaknesses (e.g. cheating, stealing, pornography).

2. Neglecting to wear clothes. Most employers nowadays prefer their job candidates clothed while interviewing, so it is of utmost importance that your body is covered. The temptation may also be strong to remove articles of clothing during your interview, but studies have shown that candidates that strip during their interviews are less likely to receive job offers.

3. Failing to follow directions. When you interview, it's possible that you will be given specific tasks to accomplish, be it problem-solving or writing code on a whiteboard. It is of utmost importance that you accomplish these tasks within the constraints given you. Many first-time interviewees make the mistake of using the white board to draw dinosaurs and panda bears instead of programming and throwing pens and pencils at the ceiling, but unless instructed to do so, refrain from such activities.

4. Telling lies. We all are prone to hyperbole especially during interviews, but over-exaggerating is a big risk that needs to be avoided. Resisting the impulse to tell lies will save you the trouble of attempting to explain how you managed to finish college in 2 years despite your extensive time overseas helping the poor and the time machine that you built in your back yard.

5. Going overboard with the bragging*: While you shouldn't be so humble that you don't say anything positive about yourself when asked about your accomplishments, be careful not to go overboard. Going on for too long about how great you are and how many amazing things you've done can be off-putting. It's okay to let some of what you've done speak for itself. If certain achievements are really that incredible, the interviewer will show genuine interest and have follow-up questions, allowing you to expand on your experiences in a more natural way.

*All of point 5 copied verbatim from Avoid These Top College Admissions Interview Mistakes

Caleb Tseng is a professional mediocre blogger at fobbymaster.blogspot.com. He earned his B.S.E. from the University of Michigan and his master's degree from the University of Michigan.

Ultimate New Year Party

Six o'clock, New Year's Eve. I was on my way to Arthur and Vicki's for the typical Asian New Year's Eve hot pot dinner and celebration. As grateful and excited as I was to spend a night with good friends, I became surprisingly very sad that I couldn't be home for the giant hot pot extravaganza at Eric and Kat's. I say it's surprising because I'm not usually  a very sentimental person, and while my friends mean a lot to me, I tend not to miss them too much when I'm away. The emotion I felt probably came from a combination of seeing the Instagram photos of the dinner, chatting with Thomas at work, and discovering that Michael, who I didn't see all break, was there.

As I wallowed in self-pity for not being able to hang out with my friends at the huge home-people hot pot party, I was reminded that there is coming a day that I wouldn't have to leave one group of friends to hang out with another, a time where no feast would go unattended. And this was great comfort to me.

So I look forward to the ultimate New Year Party, where we've said goodbye to saying goodbyes, loneliness is only a faint memory, and the food, fun, and fellowship never ends.

As a side note, can you imagine having our hangouts with Jesus? Thomas wouldn't win Nertz every time (unless he was paired up with Jesus), we could all stuff things in Wendy's ears together, and Jesus, James, and Michael would face off in an epic game of pterodactyl. And Jesus won't backstab me in the Game of Thrones game (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, VICKI).

"Ain't no party like a Holy Ghost party cuz a Holy Ghost party don't stop!" - Not the Bible