In our Joywok fantasy football league, some awesome members write news stories and press conferences for big events. I'm posting them here so they are public to all and are never lost.
OCTOBER 12, 2013
PALISADES PARK – With 5 weeks into the 2013 Joywok Fantasy Football season, the top storyline can be summarized in one word: Parody. This is the second year that the Joywok League has expanded its playoffs to eight teams, up from the four postseason entrants in the initial two years of the league. After five contests, only one game separates the entire top half of the league from one another. In addition, if the current trend holds, for the first time in league history, a team with a losing record will be able to sneak into the playoffs. Once there, in a one-and-done scenario of the fantasy football playoffs, anything can happen, as witnessed by last year’s upset of 11-2 BetterFosterStronger in the first round by The Brady Bunch. Without further ado, here are the key matchups of Week 6.
Blowout Game of the Week:
While the Jacksonville vs. Denver game in the NFL has set a new Vegas record for largest point spread in history, that is nothing compared to upcoming contest between Infamous Bumpshead and WildWildWes, where Bumpshead is projected to demolish the league cell dweller by 59 points. General Manager David Du once again has his team in contention for a league title as he seeks his 3rd playoff appearance (not to mention, also a third semi-final appearance) in league history. Infamous Bumpshead currently leads the league with both a 4-1 record as well as 933 points scored, more than 12/game higher than 2nd place, Futt Bumblers.
On the other side of the ledger is WildWildWes. It seems as if this franchise still has not recovered from the first round knockout it suffered last year as the league’s top overall seed. After winning the 2011 championship as the Throwin (Te)Bows and running roughshod on the league to a 11-2 record last year, Joe C. entered the 2012 playoffs having won 9 of his last 10 contests. That would be the last highlight for the franchise as Joe C. has now added five straight losses to open the season to its first round upset. Much like their Jacksonville counterpart, WildWildWes struggles offensively, having gone over the 110 point mark just once all season while failing to reach the century mark in three other contests. In fact, WildWildWes owns four of the five lowest fantasy point totals all season. This is a historically bad team on the levels of 2012 Charlotte Bobcats, 2013 Houston Astros, and the 2008 Detroit Lions.
Prediction: Infamous Bumpshead dominates early and often and the commissioner is summoned around 4 PM to begin discussion of a fantasy mercy rule.
Pseudo Elimination Game of the Week
While neither team will be mathematically eliminated with a loss Sunday, the game between the Black Soldiers and Manning the Deck can result in the loser facing an uphill battle to make the playoffs during the 2nd half of the season. Both teams enter the weekend with losing records (Black Soldiers at 1-4 and Manning the Deck at 2-3). While it was previously mentioned that a losing team can very well make the playoffs this season, the odds will be stacked against the loser as they currently represent 2 of the 3 lowest scoring teams in the league, the other being WildWildWes who might need to be relegated after Week 14 to the NCAA. A 1-5 Black Soldiers or a 2-5 Manning the Deck team will not only need to almost run the table the rest of the way to secure the coveted 8th and final playoff spot, they will also need to significantly up their currently weekly scoring output to ensure they do not lose on tie breakers. The task is especially daunting considering that Manning the Deck will face 5 teams with winning records in their final 7 games while the Black Soldiers will play all four of the current 4-1 teams in the final 6 weeks of the season. A Blain Gabbert-like performance by Eli Manning on Thursday night did not get Manning the Deck the start it needs for this important contest but they can hope that the wide receiver spot in the Black Soldiers starting lineup continue to remain vacant once Sunday games kick off.
Prediction: Black Soldiers fills the vacant roster spot, takes a comfortable lead into Sunday night where it barely survives RGIII, and gives GM Brian Wuu his second victory of the season.
Game of the Week
In a battle between identical 4-1 teams, the Futt Bumblers will face off against the Pharma-Niners. In addition to their strong win-loss records, the two most experienced (aka old) GMs in the league also leads two of the four highest scoring teams. Earlier this week, Pharma-Niners GM, Matthew Lau, ceded to Futt Bumblers GM, Shawn Wu, that with star quarterback, Peyton Manning facing the lowly Jaguars this week, he is “tempted to not even [bother] drop a player to pick up a defensive player.” and have conceded that this should be an “automatic win” for GM Shawn Wu and his team. Ironically, it was Wu who was managed to not pick up a defensive player, incorrectly starting the inactive Charles Tillman. “We certainly didn’t do ourselves any favors there,” said Wu when reached for comments on Saturday evening, “the Pharma-Niners have a great team and we’ll have our hands full when we take the field Sunday. In a complete reversal of the Manning the Deck vs. Black Soldiers game, the winner of this game will be 5-1 and be in a commanding pole position to secure a high playoff seed.
Prediction: No predictions will be issued for this game, just know that after Monday night…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrOH-KHxXg0
Team to Watch This Week:
The GioDudes. With a 2-3 record, GM Caleb Tseng knows that his team is now entering a critical stretch of the season. After a heartbreaking loss to Matt Lau and the Pharma-Niners last week, a contest in which Tseng made the critical decision of not playing Alshon Jeffrey, Tseng learned earlier this week that he has now lost star wide receiver, Julio Jones for the season. He then watched Jeffrey return his lack of faith in Week 5 with a pedestrian 1 catch for 27 yards Thursday night. Facing the 4-1 Chalupa Batman on Sunday, it will be interesting to see how Tseng and his men respond to the latest setbacks.
-- Written by Shawn Wu (Futt Bumblers)
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