Yesterday, two great things happened with two different people.
1) Reconnection
I had a pretty great conversation with an old friend of mine that I haven't talked to in years. We used to be really close, and it was really great being able to catch up with her. Most of the close friendships that I've had ended in conflict or in tension, but this friendship just ended because of circumstances, as we just grew apart. It was refreshing to talk to her, as the conversation was without assumptions or expectations. It made me happy!
2) Reconciliation
Reconciliation happened, and it wasn't because of me. I'm non-confrontational, so I'm rarely the bigger man in reconciliation. I almost never initiate, and when others don't, I just wait until time fixes things. I guess I'm reminded of the joy and the blessing of forgiveness in reconciliation. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted, and today I felt like I've been floating all day. I really appreciate it.
All in all, yesterday has taken away a lot of the cynicism that I've built up toward relationships, giving me more faith in the good of others and the good in relationships. I feel like a changed man.
Yesterday's events leads me to two key observations on what has been missing/wrong in my life:
My lack of faith in God and his creation and plan for me makes me believe less in relationships. To me, relationships are doomed to fail because of our fallen nature, but I failed to recognize the redemption that God has brought to relationships. Because my approach to friendships isn't God-centered, these relationships never live up to my expectations.
Lack of faith in relationships can lead to a lack of faith in God
Past hurts led to my lack of faith in friendships and dating relationships. The (mostly subconscious) bitterness that built up caused me to lose sight of the good that God created them for. It made me doubt God's goodness to me and his faithfulness in life, becoming a wall between me and God.
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