"Abba", "Ba Ba"

Romans 8:

And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

"Abba" is an intimate word that Jews used to refer to their father. In the English-speaking world, "Papa"  or "Daddy" are also commonly used. In my family, it's "Ba2 Ba2" (for everyone who doesn't speak Chinese, I bet they think we sound like sheep loll).

I have struggled calling God this most intimate word for "father." It's easy for me to call him "Father" or "Heavenly Father", but it's much more difficult for me to call him something more intimate to me. The thing about "dad" and "daddy" is that those words mean very little to me. I don't call my dad "dad", and when I think of him "dad" isn't the word that crosses my mind. "Ba ba" is. "Ba ba" is my dad, and my dad is "Ba ba".

But to me, I can't call God "Ba Ba". And I don't know why…but here are a few possibilities:

Maybe I idolize my dad: My dad is great. He is awesome. I love him. Of course I think he's the best dad in the world. Sometimes I idealize him, but as sons, aren't we supposed to? I think it's possible that because of my love for my dad, I find it hard to believe that there is someone who can love me and provide for me better than he. I find it hard to believe that there is someone wiser and smarter. I cannot accept that there is someone who can be a better "Ba Ba" to me than my dad.

But God is all those things. It's obvious to me how it would be easier for kids that come from broken families without fathers to see God as a father. But what about me? I already have one…one that I've very happy with that I don't think can be replaced! I know that God isn't meant to replace my dad, but why then should I call him my dad? It doesn't make very much sense to me. This brings me to my next possibility.

God isn't meant to be called "dad": I know that God is our Heavenly Father, but what is his role as a father in my life? Is he really my father or does he just represent a father figure, having fatherly traits?

Maybe, because God's traits are so all-encompassing, calling him a "father" just doesn't do him justice. While I realize that words can't fully describe God, maybe I see him more like a King or Creator than I do a father. To me, his other traits seem to dominate his fatherly traits.

I guess that for me, I need to learn to appreciate more of God's fatherly traits. I guess it's just part of understanding who God is. I guess that the thing for me is that I don't really understand God's fatherly traits…what exactly they are and how they are different from his other traits. I don't really see his provision and his love as purely fatherly traits, as that's also part of what a good king is and a creator is.