Friday, September 10, 2010

Summer 2010 - In Memoriam

This post is long overdue, as Darren has been waiting for me to post the word cloud ever since I told him I was making one A short list of the memorable things we did this summer, most of which are in the epic video below:
- Played Euchre with Michael, Thomas, and Eric
- Hurricane Harbor
- World Cup!
- Ping Pong Playa
- Fantasy football draft!

- Played soccer


- Naked
- Punishments
- And this:



Here's the word cloud of all of the Naked phrases that I recorded (there were maybe 2 or 3 games that I don't have the data for). Click the image for the full-size image.
List of words here.

Epic Video for an Epic Summer!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

NFL Watchability Rankings #16-1

Happy NFL opening day, everyone!


16Arizona Cardinals I'm not gonna lie...I forgot the Cardinals in my first post. No, they don't deserve to be here. But now that Leinart is gone and Derek Anderson is in, their offense should definitely be better. Beanie Wells is soft. Tim Hightower sucks. Only Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston (Go Blue!) don't suck on the team. I'm just really glad Matt Leinart is gone. That guy sucked. But yeah...The Cardinals don't belong here. My bad.
15Seattle Seahawks I'm not a big fan of Pete Carroll, but there's no denying that he's a great coach. The Seahawks certainly aren't as talented as most teams in the NFL, but they have just enough talent and a great coaching staff that should rejuvenate this struggling franchise. I had this relatively high ranking with the anticipation of TJ playing for the Seahawks, so now that he's gone, this high of a ranking may not be merited.
14 San Diego Chargers The Chargers would be so much higher on this list 1)if Vincent Jackson was going to play and 2) if I didn't hate Philip Rivers. The Chargers are always the team with the most offseason hype that never makes the playoffs. It will be interesting to see how Ryan Mathews fairs in his rookie year and how well Rivers can play without Jackson, but in the end, the Chargers are in the WAC of the NFL, and should easily make it to the first round of the playoffs, where they will lose to a inferior teams. After all, that's how it's always been.
13 Atlanta Falcons After the Saints, the Falcons must be the feel-good comeback team of the last few years. After decades of mediocrity, the player who led them to the playoffs was arrested and put in prison for dog-fighting. Despite this adversity, they drafted Matt Ryan and picked up Michael Turner, the two players that are the new foundation of the team. The Falcons have over-performed for their franchise these last two years, and it's often hard to root against them. With Matt Ryan, Roddy White, Michael Turner, and the speedy Jerious Norwood, this might be the year where they Falcons finally make it deep into the playoffs.
12 Dallas Cowboys It really seems like in the history of the franchise, the Cowboys have never been boring to watch. This year with the addition of Dez Bryant to the receiving corps of Miles Austin and the inconsistent but still dangerous Roy Williams, Tony the Gunslinger will have as many targets to throw to as he ever has. The Cowboys are the favorites to win the ever-deep NFC East, which will have the most entertaining division games of the league. America's Team has a lot of pressure to perform well, and the eyes of the nation (or at least Texas) will be watching all of its games.
11 Indianapolis Colts Peyton Manning leads one of the most efficient offenses in the NFL. Even though it's a total joy watching him expertly lead the offense, there never seems to be much drama in Colts games, as they seem to win all the games they are supposed to win. That said, he is easily my favorite player to watch when he's mic'd up, saying words and phrases that I can never in my lifetime understand. I really wish the team had more electric players, as Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark (and obviously Peyton) seem to be the only guys that can make big plays. Also, Addai sucks balls.
10 Cincinnati Bengals The Bengals feature the rowdiest, loudest, most arrogant, and most entertaining wide receivers in the league, who are both made to be on TV. TO has been known for having a big mouth, crying, and throwing popcorn in his face. Ocho Cinco has been known for his over-the-top celebrations, over-used twitter page, and his recent dating show, The Ultimate Catch. The Bengals may not do that well on the field, but off the field, they'll definitely be the most fun to follow.
9 Baltimore Ravens The Ravens may have the best offense they've ever had this year, with Joe Flacco, Anquan Boldin, TJ, and Ray Rice (yay Rutgers!). The Ravens have finally found the offense to compliment their legendary (but now aging, sadly) defense. If you want to see efficient offense and hard-hitting defense, just watch a Ravens game.
8 New England Patriots The Patriots are ranked relatively low for a team that has torn through the league this last decade. There are question marks all over the team. Will Tom Brady pull it together and be the Tom Brady of 2008? Will Randy Moss start being fast again? Will Maroney show up this season? However, even with all of these uncertainties, we know that Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are going to put together some specactular games for us.
7 Philadelphia Eagles Last year, the Eagles were definitely one of the most fun to watch teams. With the amount of young talent on the team, I think they will continue to be incredibly fun to watch, even if their youth costs them a few games. DeSean Jackson is an absolute beast - his first 10 (of 12) touchdowns of the season averaged 61.3 yards each, the shortest being 35 yards. The big question mark on the team is obviously Kevin Kolb, but he threw 71 and a 64 yard touchdowns to Jackson last season, so I'm really not too worried. I'm probably going to write another post about the Eagles, so stay tuned. And yes, the Eagles are probably over-ranked on this list, but who cares...I'm a homer!
6New York Jets The Jets will probably be the only defense that people will tune in to watch (now that Darrelle Revis is signed). The games they play in will not be the most high scoring or have the most big plays, but every week, I will be extremely interested in how opposing offenses will perform. Will Ocho Cinco catch more than two balls? Will Tom Brady figure out the defense? How will Miami's wildcat fare? The addition of LT and the maturation of Mark Sanchez will only help this cause. Plus, we've seen the Jets suck for so long, so this is a nice change.
5Tennessee Titans This high ranking for that Titans comes because of the most electrifying player in the game today, Chris Johnson. You never know when he's going to break a big one, and when he does, he always does it in spectacular fashion. If Vince Young improves this year and plays anything like he did his rookie season, he also has the chance of making huge plays both with his arms and with his legs. The Titans offense will be one of the most difficult to play against, and definitely one of the most fun to watch.
4 Miami Dolphins The Dolphins have the most unique offense of the NFL, with Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams leading a wildcat offense, and with Chad Henne leading the traditional offense. The Dolphins also have the most unpredictable offense, switching between the two offensive schemes often and rotating offensive players around. Also, their defense isn't very good, allowing other teams to stay in the game. Last year's Dolphins-Colts game must have been one of the top 5 of the entire season, with the Dolphins losing with more time of possession than any other losing side. The Dolphins will only get better this season, with the maturation of Chad Henne and Pat White and the addition of Brandon Marshall. Dolphins-Jets games may be some of the most strategically entertaining games of the season.
3 Green Bay Packers For all you doubters out there, Aaron Rodgers has proved himself to be the real deal. The Packers feature one of the most high-powered offenses in the league this year, with dangerous receivers like Greg Jennings, Donald Driver, and Jermichael Finley. They also feature a dangerous (though sometimes inconsistent defense), led by the versatile (and heroic) Charles Woodson.
2 New Orleans Saints Do I think the Saints will repeat as Super Bowl champs? No way. Do I think they will still be one of the teams that's most fun to watch? Yes way. Pass-oriented offenses are always fun to watch, especially when one of your running backs is named Reggie Bush. Big defensive plays also help the Saints' cause(thanks, Darren Sharper!). Will Drew Brees break Marino's record for total yards thrown in a season? I sure hope so - that would be fun to watch.
1 Minnesota Vikings I don't like the Vikings, I really don't. However, they really do have the most electric players all around. They have an exciting, unpredictable quarterback, talented skill players in Percy Harvin and Sydney Rice, and fearsome defensive players like Jared Allen and Antoine Winfield, not to mention the super-stud Adrian Peterson. I almost always root against the Vikings, but it's hard to deny that they have playmakers all over the field. Also, the Vikings play in high-turnover games, because of their own stiff defense making plays and AP being a fumble machine and Brett Favre's style of play always has that risk (though, credit to him, he did really well last year).

Monday, September 6, 2010

2010 Big Ten Predictions

1) Iowa 11-1 (7-1)
Iowa has continually been getting better, and I think this is their year to win the Big Ten. They have a bunch of key departures that went to the draft (five Hawkeyes got drafted in the first 4 rounds), but I think they can rally behind a now-veteran Stanzi to win the Big Ten title, and maybe even a national championship. The Big Ten is brutal this year, so I do think that they will lose one conference game in the season.
Key games: Penn State(W), Michigan(W), Wisconsin(L), Michigan State(W), Ohio State(W).

2) Penn State 10-2 (7-1)
The most intriguing matchup of the season is the Alabama game. Will the preseason fourth-best team in the Big Ten be able to defeat the top ranked team? While my heart says yes, it's hard to mark that down as a win. I have Penn State losing to Iowa in the Big Ten, placing them second. The big question for Penn State is whether or not their true freshman quarterback Robert Bolden will be able to shoulder the pressure and lead his team to victory. The 10-2 record might seem like a reach, but I believe that the coaching staff will be able to overcome his inexperience.
Key games: Alabama(L), Iowa(L), Michigan(W), Ohio State(W), Michigan State(W)

3) Ohio State 9-3 (5-3)
Can Terrell Pryor shoulder the pressure of the expectations and play like a Heisman candidate all season? I don't think so. Pryor hasn't shown that he can be a consistent stud, and the team has had to win despite him in the past. With the Big Ten this stacked, mistakes are so much more costly, and I don't believe Pryor will play flawless games against elite teams.
Key games: Miami(W), Wiconsin(W), Penn State(L), Iowa(L), Michigan(L)

4) Michigan State 9-3 (5-3)
State has a great team this year, with star linebacker Greg Jones leading the way for the defense and an experienced Kirk Cousins leading the offense. Michigan State has the potential to go 10-2, but knowing them, they will find a way of losing a game they shouldn't, to a Northwestern or a Purdue.
Key games: Notre Dame(W), Wisconsin(W), Michigan(W), Iowa(L), Penn State(L)

5)Michigan 8-4(4-4)
Michigan is back on the rise! Michigan goes through a death row of Michigan State, Iowa, and Penn State, which I think we will all lose. However, I think Michigan will be able to pull off upsets against Wisconsin and Ohio State (I will never pick Ohio State to win against us), but will also lose a game against either Illinois or Purdue.
Key games: Connecticut(W), Notre Dame(W), Michigan State(L), Iowa(L), Penn State(L), Wisconsin(W), Ohio State(W)

6) Wisconsin 8-4(4-4)
Wisconsin has a history of crumbling under pressure, and this year will be no different. I love John Clay and the Wisconsin philosophy of football, but they have proven only good when they have the chance of playing spoiler. That said, I think they will upset Iowa, giving them their only loss of the year.
Key games: Michigan State(L), Minnesota(W), Ohio State(L), Iowa(W), Michigan(L), Northwestern(L)


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

College Football - Love and Hate

When I visited DC, Jonny, Johnny, and I were talking about our favorite and most hated college football programs, so I decided to compile a list. Some of the schools that I like might seem sacri-michig-ious, but keep in mind that for the most part, I grew up in New Jersey, and that I don't have friends that go to MSU and that I wasn't schooled into hating any schools by my parents or friends. I watched football, and I liked the teams I liked and just disliked teams that I disliked. After the years, I've grown really proud that I'm a Big Ten man through and through, even if my preferences aren't the same as a typical Michigan fan.

MY FAVORITE TEAMS

1. Michigan
Tradition, passion, physical play. This video sums it up.

2. Penn State
My dad actually went to Penn State for his Masters degree before going to Michigan for his PhD, so I grew up liking Penn State almost as much as Michigan. Penn State's classiness is seen in the simplicity of their uniforms, which points to selfless play and team effort (they are my favorite football uniform). Penn State is led by the lovable Joe Paterno, whose longevity really is a testament to his greatness. JoePa has been through many different ages of evolution of college football, and to be able to maintain excellence in the program by evolving his own football philosophy really cannot be understated. JoePa did what Lloyd Carr (bless his heart) couldn't do and what Rich Rod won't do, and that is to evolve his philosophy as the game evolves. JoePa also has a knack for winning big games, as he is the all-time leader in bowl wins, with a record of 24-11-1. What's great about liking Penn State is that it never really interfered with my loyalty to Michigan because they never beat us anyway!

3. Iowa, Wisconsin, Michigan State (and most other Big Ten schools)
I love the Big Ten. What makes these three schools special is stifling defense and hard-hitting run offense, which is the trademark of the Big Ten. I don't have any real, deep personal connection to these schools, but I pull for them against almost any opponent because I believe deeply in the Big Ten football philosophy, and I want to see it succeed.

On Michigan State- It may seem puzzling to many Michigan fans that I favor Michigan State. I never hated Michigan State simply because they never seemed like a threat to Michigan, but after experiencing more of the Michigan culture, it's easy for me to see why Michigan fans hate it when State beats us, as rare as it is. Losing to Michigan State hurts more than any losing to any other school other than OSU, but beating them, to me, isn't all that special. I don't wish them ill will, but actually often pull for them against other schools that aren't in this top 5.

I will always root for a Big Ten team (except Ohio State) when playing non-conference games. Always. Even for Ohio State, I pull for them sometimes. Don't yell at me now. We can talk about it later.

4. Rutgers
I really wish I could make Rutgers higher, but I always root for them when I get a chance to watch their games, which is quite rare because their games are rarely televised in the Midwest. I don't know many of the players anymore, but the year when they went 11-2? EPIC. Jersey Pride!

5. Notre Dame
I would never call myself a Notre Dame fan, but there's a connection between the Notre Dame program and the Michigan program, and Notre Dame fans are among the few that can understand the pain of the mediocrity of the Michigan football program. I believe that great programs are meant to be great, and that historically powerful schools will always be better than the new up-and-coming schools. History means a lot, and tradition means everything, and Notre Dame realizes these same beliefs.

Honorable Mention - Pitt
This is simply because I love LeSean McCoy, sympathize with Big East football, and Maggie and Darren go there!

TEAMS I HATE

1. Florida
My hatred of Florida really is for the players and for the coaching staff, not so much for the fans, simply because I don't know that many Florida fans. Urban Meyer is the least classy figure there is in college football, and is basically a dirtbag. The following is a short list of Florida's transgressions.

Brandon Spikes Eye Gouge
In a game against Georgia, Brandon Spikes eye gouged a defenseless player. "Eye gouge" really doesn't describe the atrocity that happens. Watch the video. It's sickening. What's even more sickening is that Urban Meyer only suspended Brandon Spikes for half a game. HALF A GAME! If this crap happened in the NFL, Roger Goodell would slap on a suspension of at least 4 games without pay. Pat Forde correctly points out in his column that "nothing, not even thuggish behavior, will be allowed to substantively interfere with our pursuit of a repeat national title." Anyone who has watched any sports movie of the last century will know that high school and collegiate athletics are just as much about maturing men and strengthening character as it is about the game itself. Urban Meyer should be ashamed of his weak half-game suspension of an intentional cheap shot that could have ended a career. Watch the video below. It's sickening.



Recruiting Scandals
The SEC is known for cutthroat recruiting which often results in programs breaking unspoken rules to obtain the players they want. These scandals are well-documented, but I want to point out the little-known story of Patrick Johnson, a highly recruited cornerback. Patrick Johnson had a suspicious qualifying ACT score, as he scored 16 his first two times and 22 his third time, but no one questioned it or made an issue of it as he was deciding between Florida, Florida State, and LSU. Finally, when he decided LSU, Florida decides to rat out the kid and the NCAA needed to make sure that his exam score was genuine. The issue isn't so much with Florida telling officials, as it was probably the right thing to do, but that Florida didn't mention it in the recruitment process. Why did Florida wait for Johnson to commit to LSU before ratting him out? Would Florida have told the NCAA if Johnson committed to Florida? This really is a small matter, but Florida's bad track record when it comes to recruiting speaks for itself (again, visit the link above).

Running up the score
Urban Meyer loves running up the score. In his 2008 match against Georgie, up 49-10, he called two timeouts in the last minute just to rub it in the face of his opponents. He kicked a late field goal against Miami when he could have just ran the clock out with a 23-3 win. Urban Meyer is a douchebag. Running up the score is classless, and now that the Tim Tebow era is over, Meyer should expect teams to punch him in the mouth for it.

Florida fans cannot deny the sketchiness of their recruiting and the douchery of Urban Meyer. Tim Tebow may have been a Christian, but the way that team played was anything but Christian, which is why I have little respect for Tim Tebow. Whether or not people see it, he compromised his sportsmanship for wins, which is the primary crime of the Florida football program.

2. Ohio State
I hate Ohio State, I really do. But I must say that I hate Ohio State fans much, much more than the team itself. I don't care for their players, but there's no denying that they are pretty darn good and often very fun to watch. Jim Tressel is a n00b, but he isn't lowlife scum like some of the other coaches that I'll talk about. Who I hate are Ohio State fans, who despite having double digit IQs and crappy lives insist that they are better than us. This hatred of OSU fans is multiplied because of our recent losing streak against them, leaving Michigan fans with no real comeback. The thing about Ohio State is that when Michigan is good, the better OSU is, the better Michigan looks. I am convinced that the greatness of the legacies of the Michigan and Ohio State football programs are dependent on each other, that without our rivalry, the greatness diminishes (especially when you keep winning the Big Ten easily and losing in the National Championship game).

3. USC
USC, like Florida, does anything they can to win. They pay players with cars and money, giving them an obvious unfair advantage in recruiting. Their NFL talent comes from their NFL salaries. What's even more maddening though is that Pete Carroll was incredibly difficult to beat. Watching the Big Ten lose game after game to USC in the Rose Bowl was absolutely humiliating, and knowing that they had sketchy recruiting just made us want to beat them even more...which we didn't. But I need to give credit where it's due - Pete Carroll was a great coach. The more talented team doesn't always win the game. The more well-coached team does, and in most of Carroll's games, his team was the better coached. [Random rant: does it bother anyone else that Pete Carroll's teams always had tons of penalties but no one could ever stop them?!]

This is USC football's "do anything to win" mentality summed up in a play:


4. Boise State
Nobody likes whiners. Nobody likes kids who play crappy competition and then call themselves the best (like Ping Pong Playa). Most of all, nobody likes people with blue turf that makes games freaking unwatchable. Boise State has been consistently beating the teams in their division, and is starting to schedule more difficult non-conference games. This is all a feign. Their non-conference games, while seemingly difficult, are at the beginning of the season, before real chemistry is developed and when they are at their worst. Don't give me crap about them beating Oregon last year, because a performance in the opener is rarely a good sign of how good the team actually is. I would like to see Boise play some difficult opponents at the end of the season, which unfortunately won't happen because of their pathetically weak conference. We only get to see Boise State play quality opponents at their best in bowl games, where they have a 6-4 record and 2-4 since 2004, a surprisingly poor record considering their regular season dominance. Anybody can win a single bowl game, but a championship team should be one that has played a season of playoff football against playoff caliber teams.

Also, I hate their gimmicky offense.

5. West Virginia
I hate West Virginia because I like Rutgers, but more importantly, I hate West Virginia because I hated Rich Rodriguez and his gimmicky offense. Yes, I know that we have that offense now, but I would give anything to have an offense like Penn State, Iowa, or Wisconsin...basically have things the way they used to be. At West Virginia, Rich Rod had once-in-a-lifetime players for his system in Pat White and Steve Slaton, and I'm convinced that the coach didn't make the players, but that the players made the coach. In my opinion, this run-first spread offense wouldn't stand up against any Big Ten defense, which has also proven true these last few years at Michigan. Needless to say, I will still be rooting hard for the team this year, as my desire for Michigan football to succeed is much greater than my desire to see Rich Rod fail.



Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Penguin Webisode 4 - News with Michael

In this webisode, we learn more about the cameraman who won't show his face, discovering some of his darkest secrets. Also, the evil star pays Penguin another unpleasant visit. This webisode features a few beautifully written songs performed by the characters. If you wish to purchase the music sung by Michael and Penguin, a Penguin soundtrack will be sold after the airing of the final webisode, with a special must-have track featuring Taylor Swift Kanye West called "Imma let you finish."

Next episode will feature the Grape Penguin, so stay tuned.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

NFL Watchability Rankings #32-17

Football season is baaaaaack! To kick it off, I've decided to create a ranking of all the teams in the NFL. I was going to do my power rankings for the NFL, but ESPN came out with their own, which are pretty damn good, so I decided to rank the teams in the NFL based on how entertaining their games will be, how "watchable" their games are. Below are the most boring teams to watch that you should probably avoid (unless they are playing teams from the better half, I guess). If your favorite team is on here, I'm sorry, but it's not my fault you like a boring team. If you have any comments or disagreements with where I put teams, feel free to insult my intelligence below in the comments. The next half should be posted sometime next week.

32Tampa Bay Buccaneers Average sports fans, or even NFL fans for that matter, may not be able to name one player on the Bucs. Actually, go ahead and try and name one. Antonio Bryant? Nope he's on the Bengals now. Derrick Brooks? He's retired. Try naming the coach on their team. Yeap, I can't either. If you named Cadillac Williams, congratulations. For everyone else who named no one it's okay. The team is just depleted of talent. Except for Arrelious Benn from Illinois. That kid is a stud at least in college he was, so it's too bad he's going to have Josh Freeman throwing to him. But hey, at least they have the always-reliable Ted Ginn now. I guess the good news is that we're probably not going to have to see many of the Bucs games on TV.
31San Francisco 49ers Have they not given up on Alex Smith yet? Sure, Michael Crabtree and Frank Gore are there, but this is just a boring team to watch. Because the 49ers can't effectively pass the ball, Frank Gore is going to have another high-workload season, and Frank Gore is a workhorse but he doesn't make anyone jump out of his seat. It's also really hard to root for the selfish divas of Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis. I wish the best for Gore and sympathize with Smith, but get no enjoyment watching Davis or Crabtree catch receptions, so watching 49ers games are futile. You don't want them to get destroyed too bad because you pity them, but you don't want them to do well either. Don't watch 49ers games. They will suck, guaranteed.
30Denver Broncos
The Denver Broncos are a solid and improving team, but those improvements are mainly defensive, with Brandon Marshall now on the Dolphins. Elvis Dumervil, Brian Dawkins, and Champ Bailey are fun to watch, but until the Broncos show some sort of defensive consistency, the defense won't get much credit. Knowshon Moreno is still far from being an elite running back, and Kyle Orton, though improving, doesn't have anyone to throw to. How they use Tim Tebow will definitely be a draw, but I really don't see them using him very extensively. Basically, the Broncos are going to have another tough year, and there aren't many crowd-pleasing players left to keep me watching.
29New York Giants Eli Manning to Steve Smith. That's the New York Giants offense. Sure, Bradshaw is a decent back and sure, Justin Tuck can make defensive plays, but few other players have proved their tv-rating grabbing abilities. Michael Strahan is gone, Osi Umenyiora is old, and Brandon Jacobs has disappeared. The Giants historically have never been a very fun team to watch, but this year is going to be painful. If Hixon and Manningham can up their game, they have a chance at being exciting. Until then, let's just be glad that Jeremy Shockey isn't there anymore.
28St. Louis Rams The Rams suck. Again. Sam Bradford couldn't have asked for a worse situation. With the stud receivers he has in Donnie Avery and Laurent Robinson, the Rams won't suck any less. A lot of people like Steven Jackson, but all he does is put up meaningless numbers. There's nothing new under the sun - the Rams still suck. And it's not worth watching them suck again.
27Oakland Raiders If Jason Campbell is considered a big improvement at the quarterback position, there's something wrong with your team. That said, the Raiders, especially when Gradkowski was leading the team, have shown a big amount of heart. They play physically and with heart. Michael Bush and Darren McFadden are solid running backs that can make big plays. The Raiders have cut a lot of dead weight, literally (Jamarcus Russell), and I really believe that the Raiders will have one of the best seasons they've had recently.
26Kansas City Chiefs I like the Chiefs, I really do. But I don't think that everyone else does. The Chiefs may be a much better football team this year, but they won't be much more fun to watch. Like all the other boring teams, the Chiefs have a mediocre quarterback (Matt Cassell hasn't proved his worth since he left the Patriots) with no one to throw to. Jamaal Charles might break a few big ones, but he is probably the only big-play threats on the team. Remember when Tyler Thigpen caught that touchdown pass two years ago? That was probably the most exciting thing that's happened on the Chiefs in the last decade.
25Jacksonville Jaguars The problem with the Jaguars is that they have no fan base, so every game they play really doesn't matter. We all sympathize for Mojo, but the truth is no one really cares whether the Jaguars win or lose, making it difficult to want to watch Jaguars games, especially as they play the other very likable, very exciting teams of the AFC South. Watching the Jaguars is just like watching movies or television without any emotional connection to the characters...crappy. (Anyone watch the new show Persons Unknown? It sucks.)
24Buffalo Bills Yes, this spot is quite high for a team as bad as the Bills. This high ranking is 100% attributed to their new speed demon, CJ Spiller, who's the second coming of Chris Johnson. If the Bills play their cards right and find a good split between Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller (notice I didn't even mention Marshawn Lynch), Spiller will light it up for the Bills. Watch his highlights here and here and here. Believe the hype. Great things will happen.
23Cleveland Browns Joshua Cribbs and Jerome Harrison bring the only taste of elite talent on this talent-depleted squad. While I think that the Browns will do better with Delhomme leading the offense, the Browns suck and will probably continue sucking. But does anyone get tired of watching teams from Cleveland lose? I guess in that sense, they'll be very enjoyable to watch. Let's just hope Cribbs doesn't decide to take his talents down to South Beach...
22Pittsburg Steelers Stifling defense and ground-and-pound offense may win championship, but it doesn't win viewers. Big Ben is the one reason to watch the Steelers, with his great mobility and innovation once forced out of the pocket and the amazing comebacks that he puts together. The four weeks that the Steelers go without Ben could either be extremely painful or, in the less likely case, exciting because of the speed of Dennis Dixon. The Steelers have always been fun to watch because they were good, but I just don't think they'll be that great this year.
21Carolina Panthers Believe it or not, I think the Carolina Panthers should have kept Jake Delhomme despite his dismal last season. The learning curve is going to be hard on Matt Moore (or Jimmy Clausen), but DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart should be able to provide the spark the team needs for a solid season. Let's not forget about Steve Smith, too. Even though he hasn't played like a superstar, he is still extremely talented and fun to watch.
20Washington Redskins The worst team in the NFC East...will remain the worst team in the NFC East. The acquisition of Donovan Mcnabb will certainly help the offense, but the defense isn't going to be any better, Albert Haynesworth is making sure of that. The Redskins have a lot of potential, but unless the team actually believes it can win, it never will. But it's nice to see that Santana Moss might play up to his potential and that Clinton Portis doesn't have to do all the work on the team. Will Donovan be able to turn the Redskins around? I'll be watching to see.
19Chicago Bears Jay Cutler is a baby and a diva, and no one likes seeing baby divas win (unless it's a real baby diva, which would make him adorable). Matt Forte was a fantasy football (and real life) bust, turning a lot of fans against him. The only guys worth watching are Devin Hester (who still has no hands), Johnny Knox (who I think is better than Hester), and Chestor Taylor (who has to back up the incompetent Forte). The best part about watching Bears games is watching Jay Cutler throw red zone interceptions. Man, are those exciting!
18Houston Texans Anyone who knows me knows that I have a man-crush on Matt Schaub, and it kills me to have to have the Texans in the bottom half. Take away Andre, and the Texans offense is very pedestrian. The loss of Steve Slaton to suckiness really takes away much of the explosiveness of the offense, leaving an average passing attack. Even still, the Texans will manage to put together a solid season. I'm sure of it.
17Detroit Lions The Detroit Lions look almost like a complete team. A franchise quarterback, an elite receiver, an explosive running back, and a dominant defensive player. The Lions probably won't make the playoffs this year, but they will certainly win more games than they have in the last few years. I personally like watching the Lions because they play like they have nothing to lose, which they don't, which makes their wins mean so much more and their losses hurt less (unless you're a true Lions fan, I guess).

I LOVE FOOTBALL:

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

1 Samuel 12 - Samuel's humility

This passage describes Samuel's last speech to the people of Israel as their leader, as he steps down from his place of highest authority for Saul. Samuel's extreme humility really surprises me in this passage. When the people asked for a king, they were rejecting both God and Samuel (which is why God tells Samuel that they weren't just rejecting Samuel, but God as well). Even so, there must be some sort of hurt that Samuel experienced. Despite this hurt, Samuel displays a genuine love for God's people, pleading with them to turn back to God.

Samuel puts the will of God and the good of the people above his own will and desires, putting aside his pride and allowing another to be raised up above him, even if it wasn't what God had wanted. Samuel doesn't show any bitterness, but exhorts the people one last time to follow God and obey his commands. The following are things that Samuel does that is a reflection of his humility.

Samuel examines himself for sin and wrongdoings.

While it may seem that Samuel is being self-righteous in the beginning of the passage, Samuel is affirming that God has been working through him as the leader of the nation, it wasn't because of his sin that the people wanted a king. It's a super ballsy offer for anyone in the entire nation of Israel to accuse him of a wrongdoing, an offer that he can only make if he's spend time in the past examining himself. A posture of humility comes from a conviction of our own sinfulness, which comes from a lifestyle of reflection, confession, and repentance. While we might not be able to relate to Samuel's blamelessness, we can be convicted by Christ's blamelessness, that Christ never led us astray or oppressed us in any way, but that it is our own sin that has ruined things. Humility comes with a deep understanding of the sinfulness of our own hearts.

Samuel maintains an attitude of gratitude and praise.

Samuel remembers all of God's past deliverances of his people, as he recounts "all the righteous acts performed by the LORD for you and your fathers." God has rescued his people whenever they called out to him, and God provided secure lives for his people. Samuel, while admonishing the people, describes the holiness, power, and mercy of God. Humility comes with a deep understanding of the person of God.

Samuel continues loving.

It would have been so easy for Samuel to be bitter about having to step down from leadership when he didn't do anything wrong. It would have been so easy for him to curse at the people under his breath and to give up and walk away. Samuel was wronged in his situation, but he maintains his love for God's people, warning them and teaching them the will of God. He even called upon God to give them rain for their harvest! Most importantly, Samuel continued to pray for the people who sinned against him.

Samuel shows a lot of humility as he steps down from a place of authority because of others' sin, and we can learn a lot from his humility.


1 Samuel  1    2     3    4   5 , 6   7   8   9 , 10   11

Penguin Webisode 3 - Penguin Harassment Training

Here at Ping Pong Playa Productions, we try very hard to create a comfortable work environment for our employees. Teasing, swearing, and harassment aren't tolerated, and we make all of our employees take the Penguin Harassment Training to better understand what constitutes harassment. In addition, we also have also posted around the office large posters with inappropriate words, gestures, and actions, my favorite of which displays an employee cowering in the fecal position while his boss beats him with a large suitcase of money shouting "You will never get this, you will never get this!". I myself have experienced this flavor of harassment (it hurts), and it's good having these to remind us what not to do in a work environment.




Episode 1  2

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Penguin Webisode 2 - Jersey Penguin

Dancing, drama, and more Penguin! This webisode is the combination of Step Up, Desperate Housewives, and March of the Penguins. Be prepared to have your socks blown off. Some parts of this webisode may be disturbing and not suitable for children, so if there happens to be any two or three year-olds in the vicinity, be sure to blindfold and earplug them before watching the video.

Enjoy.

Ping Pong Playa Productions is not responsible for any sickness, nausea, vomiting, or mental instability caused by this video.


Stay tuned, Penguin Webisode 3 will be coming out next week. (Also, check out the awesome Bible study posts that also happen to be on this amazing website)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Penguin Webisode Premiere

My friends Michael and Justin decided to explore the mysterious, exciting world of penguins in a web series, and I have agreed to produce this new venture. Join us as we discover shocking, enlightening things about Penguin, the subject of our research. The cinematography in this new look at penguins is exceptional, with the entire series filmed in one shooting, being split up into webisodes for your viewing pleasure (and to appease the YouTube upload limit). These webisodes will make you laugh, they'll make you cry, and they even may make you stumble (some webisodes aren't for the kids). We really hope that this series will leave you with a new fascination with penguins and a new perspective on life.

Enjoy.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

1 Samuel 11 - God's Deliverance

In this passage, we see the deliverance of a sinful city by Saul. From this passage, we can learn about our own lives and how Jesus has delivered us.

THE DELIVERED

The city of Jabesh was under attack by the Ammonites, and they tried to cut a deal with them, offering themselves as subjects to the Ammonites in return for peace. The Israelites were fine with being under the rule of pagans, as long as they didn't have to suffer too much. They were fine with being help captive by a rival kingdom, when God had just gave the them a new king to oppose all other kingdoms. However, Nahash the Ammonite wanted more than the taxes and the servitude of the people; he wanted to humiliate the Israelites. The elders at Jabesh didn't cry out to God for deliverance. They didn't even call out to their new king (the one they asked for, remember?!) because they didn't believe in Saul's power to do anything about the situation. Instead, they sent out a general cry for help, a cry for a deliverer.

Like the Israelites throughout the Old Testament, we tolerate being help captive by sin way too much. As long as the sin doesn't seem to get in the way of our everyday lives, we allow ourselves to be enslaved by it. However, when our own sin gets us in trouble, we don't even turn to God, but turn to other things, feeling hopeless without recognizing the hope that God gives us.
“Instead of humbling themselves before God and confessing the sins that had brought them into trouble, they put God altogether aside, and basely offered to become the servants of the Ammonites . . . We see here the sad effect of sin and careless living in lowering men’s spirits, sapping courage, and discouraging noble effort. Oh, it is pitiable to see men tamely submitting to a vile master! Yet how often is the sight repeated! How often to men virtually say to the devil, ‘Make a covenant with us, and we will serve thee’!” (Balike)

THE DELIVERER

The good news is that a deliverer has come! Although in most of his reign Saul was a bad king, in this passage, Saul foreshadows how Jesus will deliver his people.

Humility and Obedience
It's unclear how much time passed between the anointing of Saul and this first mission of his, but either way, Saul went back to working his field after he was anointed! He didn't exercise his right as the king of Israel until God gave him the circumstances and the authority to do so. Saul didn't start making new laws, taxing citizens, or deporting illegal immigrants once he was in power. In fact, the people of Israel didn't even really recognize him as king yet because he needed to be reaffirmed as king after the battle! Instead, Saul waited until his calling as king became more clear (Israel never had a king before so he probably didn't know what he was supposed to do anyway).

Similarly, Jesus, though all-powerful and totally capable, did not start his ministry on earth as a child. He didn't start it as a teenager or even a young adult. Jesus waited for his time to come. Jesus lived as a regular guy, a common man, although he knew that he was the creator of all things, the king of all creation. In all things, Jesus was humble and only acted when the Father called him, doing nothing out of pride or arrogance.

Passion and Love for His People
When Saul heard about what Nahash threatened to do to his people, he went berserk, consumed by a righteous anger against those oppressing and humiliating God's people, the people the God had given him to protect. In his Super-Saiyan rage, Saul straight up butchered two oxen, gave it to his messengers, and told them to go to throughout Israel to "make 'em an offer they can't refuse." (An aside: How scary must it have been to be around Saul when he was going crazy?! Imagine a tall, handsome, usually reserved and humble individual going crazy and slaughtering two animals and tearing them up to shreds. Can you imagine if Jeffrey (for my NJers) or Bryan (for my UMers) was filled with righteous anger and took out a knife and started slicing up live oxen? Freakin scary.)

Jesus too cared about his people, and his love far surpasses that of Saul's. Instead of tearing apart the body of an ox, Jesus himself, the sacrificial lamb, had his body torn apart for us, the ultimate act of love. Jesus' anger was directed at sin and death itself, while towards people, even those who opposed and eventually crucified him, he showed compassion and forgiveness.

THE OUTCOME

Unification
Israel had previously been divided, with each tribe and city basically watching out for itself. God unites the country both militarily and in spirit through the adversity that they face. The passage says that the people "turned out as one man", which is a contrast to the description of the defeated Ammonites, who were "scattered, so that no two of them were left together." It is through unity that the church can battle the dark side, the Nahashes that attack the church.

Life, and life to the full
After the battle, Saul announced, "No one shall be put to death today, for this day the LORD rescued Israel." Saul's victory over the Ammonites and the grace he showed towards his opposition saved the lives of countless of God's people. However, Jesus not only delivers us from death and gives us life, he goes beyond it - "I have come so that they have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10)." The life that Jesus gives isn't just the lack of death, but it is an abundance of joy, love, and peace, and sugar, spice and everything nice. Saul delivered Israel from humiliation and captivity to freedom and life. Jesus did all that and more - he delivered us from death so we can enjoy everlasting life, and that life to the full.


1 Samuel  1    2     3    4   5 , 6   7   8   9 , 10

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

My First MLS Match

Jonny, Iris, and I went to the new Red Bulls Arena for the Thierry Henry debut against Tottenham. Even though the Red Bulls lost, they played better and had more and better chances against Tottenham and lost the game 2-1 on stupid defensive mistakes. Even though Thierry Henry is on the downside of his career, his control of the ball and extremely fast mental pace created an electric atmosphere whenever he touched the ball. It became clear that most of his Red Bulls teammates could not keep up with his game. He was awesome. The impressive crowd of 20,000 was engaged and loud for most of the game, which added to the experience. Here are some thoughts on the match:

1) Singing Rocks

There's something about hearing a melody rather than a chant or cheer that is freaking awesome. I realize that constantly singing songs isn't really possible at football games, where the flow of the game is much more choppy, but singing really is much more pleasant to the years than shouting. Singing also displays greater unison than shouting cheers, as cheers are often only a few words while songs are much lengthier, so the unision heard is much more apparent and much more powerful.

This could also be a result of football stadiums being much larger than soccer stadiums (Manchester United's stadium only seats 75,000), and the size of football stadiums make it very difficult to sing because of the time it takes for sound to travel. Even if everyone in the stadium is singing in unison, people on one end will hear the singing of the people on the other end around a second later, which screws with the head and makes it really hard to sing. Even at the Big House, it's rare that everyone is in sync when we sing the Victors. It's just very difficult with that size of a stadium. That's just my theory.

The insane fan section:


2) Red Bulls Arena is SWEET


This is the first season Red Bulls Arena is open, and for an MLS stadium, it's really, really nice. I don't what it's called, but I am always amazed at the electronic tickertape thing that goes around the stadium. The capacity of the stadium is a little over 25,000, which sounds shabby compared to the Big House, but is still big enough to look pretty awesome. My favorite thing about the stadium was probably the roof, which extended over the seats but was transparent so we can experience natural lighting. The sky was also absolutely beautiful the night we went, which only added to the magnificence of the stadium.



3) No Diving Allowed

One thing that I really like about the MLS is that there isn't really diving involved. Here in the United States, we like our men strong and manly, not wimpy like in the World Cup. During the course of the game, there must have been less than 10 fouls called. Sure, it was an international friendly, but it was refreshing watching a game where the players tried to stay and plays on their feet. From the MLS games that I have watched, diving isn't really an issue, so don't let the bad aftertaste of the World Cup keep you from watching the MLS!

4) Sitting down is nice.


At work earlier in the day, we had our company picnic, where I played two and a half hours of volleyball. My legs were exhausted. It was a relief to find out that it wasn't like on TV where everyone is standing and dancing around playing vuvuzelas, but that I could sit and enjoy the game. I love the college football atmosphere, and I like the passion of standing during games, but it's also nice to be able to relax and actually be able to see everything that's happening on the field. Even though our seats were kind of high up, I enjoyed being able to sit and really watch the game, jumping out of my seat whenever anything exciting happened (which was actually quite often).




A not-very-exciting video of when Thierry Henry was announced:



My First MLB Game

Monday, July 26, 2010

1 Samuel 9, 10 - Sovereignty and Grace

God's sovereignty and God's grace are two themes that are often pointed to in the Old Testament. In 1 Samuel 9 and 10, God's grace is revealed through his sovereignty, as he works in the lives of Samuel and Saul and coming of Jesus is foreshadowed.

1) God's sovereignty and grace in present circumstances


God's sovereignty in this passage is first most obviously seen in his leading of Saul to Samuel, leading Saul on a three-day donkey chase. God was always in complete control of the situation and Samuel knew this, trusting God so much that he didn't even travel to the land of Benjamin, knowing that God would bring the person promised to him.

God's grace is demonstrated in how he lead Saul to Samuel. While God spoke directly to Samuel and told him of Saul's coming, he chose not to reach out to Saul the same way, using a more roundabout method of leading Saul using everyday circumstances. Saul's relationship with God probably was not as great as Samuel's relationship with God, and he probably wasn't in the habit of regularly talking to and hearing from God. Despite this, could God have spoken audibly to Saul to tell him to go meet Samuel? Sure, he could. But God chooses to meet us where we are and to use our imperfections and weaknesses rather than avoid them.

So when life seems frustrating and when it seems like God is sending you on wild goose chases, be encouraged. God is and will always be in control. Even though you don't know where your life is going or where God is leading you, know that he is always there and is always working for your good (Romans 8:28). The three days you spend frustrated searching for your donkeys will be totally worth it after you end up meeting Jesus and are crowned along with him.

Also, God can use you even if you're an ass. [Sorry, I had to. =P]

2) God's sovereignty and grace in his ultimate plan for redemption


Saul seemed like the king the Israelites had been asking for, the perfect king. Socially, he came from a well-known, well-respected family. Morally, he was respectful, humble almost to a fault, and radically obedient to his father (if my dad sent me on a 3-day hide-and-go-seek game with donkeys, I would probably run away from home). Physically, he was tall and handsome. According to Jewish tradition, Saul was also the ultimate lady's man:

He was marvelously handsome; and the maidens who told him concerning Samuel (comp. I Sam. ix. 11-13) talked so long with him that they might observe his beauty the more (Ber. 48b). [src]

Despite these physical and character traits, Saul would be later be consumed with pride and jealousy and rejected by God.

Saul being a crappy king didn't catch God off guard. God knew Saul's heart, and he knew from the beginning that all human kings would be sinful and imperfect. Luckily for his people, God is always in control and has in store for us a king greater than Saul, whom he has prepared for us before the beginning of time.

Like what Pastor Heald said yesterday, when the Israelites were begging for a king, they were actually crying out, "Show me Jesus", as Jesus is the only truly perfect king. There's no indication in the Bible of Jesus being tall or handsome, and it seemed like the only women he drew to himself were prostitutes and "sinners". Unlike Saul, Jesus came from a humble family, one that had been disowned by the community because of pre-marital pregnancy. While Jesus was not the king that the Jews expected, he is the king that all people desire. Unlike Saul, Jesus remains obedient to his heavenly Father. While Jesus didn't bring military victories like Saul did, Jesus conquered the unconquerable, death. While Saul was the fallen first king of Israel, Jesus is the ultimate, eternal king that can never be dethroned.

Long live the King.


Pop the turtle!

1 Samuel  1    2     3    4   5 , 6   7   8

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

1 Samuel 8: Rejecting the King

Israelites:  God, all the other kids on the block have a king. We want one too. Pleasseeeee?
God:         I am your king. Do you not want me as your king anymore?
Israelites:  No. Can we please, please, please, please have a king?
God:         A human king will only bring you strife and bad things like snakes on a plane. Are you sure you want    
                a king?
Israelites:  We want a king!
God:         A king will take your action figures without asking and break them. (v. 11)
Israelites:  We still want a king!
God:         He'll ask for your crayons and he'll draw pictures with some and stick the others up his nose. (v. 12)
Israelites:  We still want a king!
God:         He will take your Barbie dolls and draw on their faces, dress them up as ugly as possible, and throw  
                them down the toilet(v. 13). He will steal your lunch every day and share them with his friends (v. 14). 
                Then, he will steal your lunch money every day. and share it with his friends (v. 15). He will steal your 
                dog and her puppies (v. 16). He will make you do whatever he wants, and he will hit you if you don't  
                listen (v.17). Still want a king?
Israelites:  Yes! We still want a king!
God:         Okay, but don't come running back to me if the king is mean to you (which he will be)!

The sin of the Israelites in this passage isn't in asking for a king alone, but in rejecting the one that God had already provided, Himself. Despite God providing the perfect king, the Israelites are discontent and demand to have things their own way (Burger King!). It's like the Israelites are insisting on taking a medicine for a disease that they don't have that have the side affects of headaches, memory loss, loss of hair, obesity, and herpes. Totally not worth it, but they have convinced themselves that it is.

Though, as usual, the Israelites sound extremely stupid and brain-damaged, but we resemble them in our lives. Like the Israelites, we beg God for a lot of things, which isn't a bad thing in itself, but our mindsets are often wrong and we begin worshiping what we are praying for rather than who we are praying to. We often believe that the only we we can be happy is if we have a relationship, lots of money, a good career, etc. You can fill in the blank yourself. We tell God that who he is and what He's given us isn't enough to satisfy our heart's desires and that we need much more than what he's given us already. We tell him that what he's given us just isn't good enough and to keep us happy, he needs to start giving us more of what we want. In a sense, in our relationship with God, we are gold diggers.

The scary thing is that sometimes, God lets us have our human, fallen desires. Like the prodigal father, he grants us our heart's desire, even though our discontent is a slap to his face, and our plans are doomed to fail. God gives us boyfriends or girlfriends that never should have been, dating relationships that never should have happened. He gives us jobs that we begged for but that he didn't call us to, which result in disappointment. And he gave the Israelites a king. He gave them many kings. Most of them were evil, and none of them were faultless.

Be encouraged if you are obeying God but your life doesn't seem to be going where you want it to be going. If you are faithfully following God, your life is probably going where God wants it to be going, and he won't let your petty desires get in the way of using you and prospering you. God has a lot in store for us, and God hears our prayers and knows our hearts, so when he withholds certain things from us, we just need to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride he's taking us on.

On the flip side, if you've dug yourself a hole, the good news is that despite our waywardness, God can use our crappy decisions and circumstances to bring himself glory. Although God desired to be the sole king of Israel, he used human kings, like David and Solomon, to point to the ultimate king to come, Jesus Christ. Although Jonah fled when God commanded him to preach to the Ninivites, God used his disobedience to save those on-board Jonah's ship. Even if you've said "my will, not yours" and veered off track from God's original calling for you, he can still use your current situation to bring him glory, if you let him.


1 Samuel  1    2     3    4   5 , 6   7

Sunday, July 18, 2010

My 21st Birthday Wish List

As you all should know, my 21st birthday is coming up in a month, and as customary, you will all be bringing gifts to present at my feet on my birthday. For all of my Michigan friends and all those not in town, feel free to mail me checks. Credit cards will also be accepted.

This year, instead of asking for and collecting cash for myself as I normally do, keep your twenty dollar bills. Here are some of the modest things that I want for my birthday, in no particular order. I will be creating a registry soon for my birthday so that no two people give me the same gift. What a tragedy that would be.

1) A Vuvuzela

I used to be really annoying, and I feel like I've lost some of that recently. My obnoxiousness and stupid jokes are now accepted and even considered funny sometimes. I need to be annoying again, and a vuvuzela is will be that first step toward being able to again make people's ears bleed just by opening my mouth. Those were the days.



2) A black friend

I used to take pride in being friends with a lot of black people. I wasn't super-tight with them all the time but yeah, I did have a ghetto phase (like most other Asian dudes). Running track also helped me to get to know a lot of the other black kids in high school, who surprisingly weren't very fast (but mostly because they just didn't try very hard). I recently realized that I don't really have any black friends at Michigan, partially because I'm in an Asian fellowship, and partially because there aren't that many black kids that major in Computer Science. I need to reconnect with the hood.

3) A closer relationship with my future father-in-law's daughter.

I've been constantly thinking and praying for my friend, my future father-in-law, and I really hope that he gets along with his daughter well. I think that maybe getting to know her better will also help me understand my future father-in-law better as a person so I can relate to him better. This really isn't about her and its certainly not about me, but a great relationship with his daughter should help solidify my relationship with my future father-in-law, the most important relationship to me right now. Also, on a somewhat unrelated note, it would be a plus if his daughter was pretty.

4) More blog readers

As many of you know, I have been shamelessly advertising my blog, and I will continue to do so. I would really appreciate it if you made "fobbymaster.blogspot.com" bumper stickers or maybe buy a billboard and advertise it. I would actually really appreciate if someone tattooed it down their arm or maybe vertically down the chest through their happy trail (or happy forest, in Michael's case). I know all of you follow my blog and twitter religiously (especially Shawn), so why not just share the wisdom and humor and general awesomeness of fobbymaster.blogspot.com to the world?
P.S. If you are sick and tired of hearing me talk about my blog, I am deeply and genuinely embarrassed and sorry. I am not being a narcissist, just trying to get some sense of worth because I write my posts with the intent of bringing something to the readers.

5) A personal masseuse, bodyguard, and lifeguard.

This is a request not for three different people, but for one stunning individual, preferably female, that can perform all the above duties. Sarah Walker from Chuck would be perfect for me (even though I'm not sure if she gives great massages, but whatever. I'm not that picky). Too bad she's fictional. [Random thought: I wonder if Sarah Walker and Luke Walker are related. Sure hope not. Luke is such a loser.]

6) A Michigan football bowl bid

No explanation needed.

I miss this:
I miss this

7) Lots of rubbing alcohol

I expect that we will be doing a lot of risky, exciting things for my 21st birthday with a lot of potential of getting injured like going to a missions seminar at church and a fantasy football draft. Even though I am not old enough to buy my own rubbing alcohol, it would be really nice if you guys could go out and buy me some in case I get cuts and stuff. Also, no girly rubbing alcohols like Smirnoff Ice Peroxide.

8) An iPad

I've never had an iPhone or an iPod touch before, and at the ancient age of 21, my eyesight will start to deteriorate. Thanks to Steve Jobs, my poor eyesight will not interfere with getting the iPhone/iPod touch experience because of the newly-released iPad! Not only is the iPad bigger and better than any other tablet or e-book reader out there, it is also much, much cheaper! Thanks, Apple! You've saved the day again! 

iPad Pro

9) Rosetta Stone for the Female Language.

I would really like to learn the female language. I know there are a lot of good resources out there already, but I need some sort of a comprehensive lesson to immerse me in the female language to help me understand them better. This Rosetta Stone will be passed on from me to all of my male friends, so we can all learn and speak the language together. I can't wait until we get to the advanced levels of the language and we will be able to lie to each other through our teeth via flattering and gossip.

Girlology 101

I know most of you are on tight budgets, especially after spending a fortune on Iris' birthday party, so I really hope these little things I suggested will be helpful for you to select me a cheap but meaningful birthday present!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

1 Samuel 7: Idols

So let's set the scene: The ark is returned after seven months in Philistine territory, where God wreaked havoc on every city the ark was in. After the Philistines decided they had enough, they returned the ark to the Israelites, with some gold for good measure. The Israelites were over-excited, and tried to look inside of the ark, to which God responded by killing 50,070 people Israelites.

The Israelites responded, and for twenty years, "all the people of Israel mourned and sought after the LORD." But it turns out, that after God had severely punished the Philistines for serving idols and the Israelites for disrespecting Him and twenty years to think about it, Israel had not yet gotten rid of their idols and were still serving foreign gods! Twenty years may sound like a short amount of time in a historical account such as 1 Samuel, but take a second and think about how long twenty years actually is for any individual. Twenty long years have passed, and the Israelites still haven't gotten rid of their idols! It wasn't until Samuel finally commanded them to rid themselves of idols (which I also bet he had done multiple times before) that Israel completely turned their sights on God.

Jonah 2:8
Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
"Those who cling to worthless idols"
A lot of times when we come to God, we come holding onto our idols that we refuse to get rid of. We come in front of the all-knowing God trying to hide them, like a child foolishly trying to hide things behind his back. We come to God hoping that he doesn't mind us cheating on him with the other gods in our heart, asking him to allow us to hold on to our idols. And sometimes he lets us. He let the Israelites hold onto theirs for twenty years, but it isn't until we genuinely burn those idols that we can come to God in full obedience with a clear conscience to accept the grace that he wants to give us. Keeping idols in our lives, we are often also too ashamed and guilty to want to confront God because engaging in relationship with God only brings out the filth inside of us, even though we know God knows the dirt we sweep under the rug anyway.

Getting rid of idols is hard. It sucks. We often need to destroy things that we have spent a long time making and have taken pride in. We need to adjust our priorities and the way we live our lives. Getting rid of idols isn't the one-time event of chopping down some Ashtoreth pole or burning Baal statues because our idols keep popping up, and we have to keep burning them down. Just ask the Israelites, even though they burn them down, for some reason those idols always reappear (Kings, Judges). I'm not great at burning idols, but luckily God's a pyromaniac that's always willing to lend a hand.

"forfeit the grace that could be theirs."
We are again presented with God's amazing grace that is so often overlooked in the Old Testament. The people were given twenty years to get rid of their idols by the holy and wrathful God, as we have just seen in chapter 6. Twenty years! Our human inadequacies are always overwhelmed by God's love and patience. Always. Not only did he rescue his people from the Philistines once, he delivered them for a lifetime.
"Throughout Samuel's lifetime, the hand of the LORD was against the Philistines. The towns from Ekron to Gath that the Philistines had captured from Israel were restored to her, and Israel delivered the neighboring territory from the power of the Philistines. And there was peace between Israel and the Amorites."
Think about it. The Israelites had decades of disobedience, stop, burn their idols, don't eat for a little bit to pray, sacrifice one lamb as a nation, and God rewards them with a lifetime of peace and prosperity. At CMC 2004, they emphasized that you can never out-give God. How true. We give God a tiny little bit, and he rewards us a hundred-fold.

God has so much that he wants to do for us and give us, but we are too stubborn to cling on to worthless idols that we miss out on all that he has in store for us. We all have idols, and we need to think how those idols have been holding us back.

On the chapter heading:
On a somewhat unrelated note, in the NIV Bible, the header for this section is "Samuel Subdues the Philistines at Mizpah", which couldn't be more misleading. Despite the obvious fact that all battles won were because of help from God, this header makes it seem like Samuel himself used his walking stick (that all prophets seemed to have) and went Yoda on the Philistines, using kung fu and somersaults to physically "subdue the Philistines." I usually like the NIV headers because they make passages easier to find, but this one is just straight up misleading.


1 Samuel 5, 6 - Don't mess with God
1 Samuel 4 - Continued Disobedience and Using God 
1 Samuel 3 - Midnight Encounter with God 
1 Samuel 2 - For those stumbling 
1 Samuel 1 - "Because I asked the Lord for him"