NFL Watchability Rankings #32-17

Football season is baaaaaack! To kick it off, I've decided to create a ranking of all the teams in the NFL. I was going to do my power rankings for the NFL, but ESPN came out with their own, which are pretty damn good, so I decided to rank the teams in the NFL based on how entertaining their games will be, how "watchable" their games are. Below are the most boring teams to watch that you should probably avoid (unless they are playing teams from the better half, I guess). If your favorite team is on here, I'm sorry, but it's not my fault you like a boring team. If you have any comments or disagreements with where I put teams, feel free to insult my intelligence below in the comments. The next half should be posted sometime next week.

32	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	Average sports fans, or even NFL fans for that matter, may not be able to name one player on the Bucs. Actually, go ahead and try and name one. Antonio Bryant? Nope he's on the Bengals now. Derrick Brooks? He's retired. Try naming the coach on their team. Yeap, I can't either. If you named Cadillac Williams, congratulations. For everyone else who named no one it's okay. The team is just depleted of talent. Except for Arrelious Benn from Illinois. That kid is a stud at least in college he was, so it's too bad he's going to have Josh Freeman throwing to him. But hey, at least they have the always-reliable Ted Ginn now. I guess the good news is that we're probably not going to have to see many of the Bucs games on TV.
31	San Francisco 49ers	Have they not given up on Alex Smith yet? Sure, Michael Crabtree and Frank Gore are there, but this is just a boring team to watch. Because the 49ers can't effectively pass the ball, Frank Gore is going to have another high-workload season, and Frank Gore is a workhorse but he doesn't make anyone jump out of his seat. It's also really hard to root for the selfish divas of Michael Crabtree and Vernon Davis. I wish the best for Gore and sympathize with Smith, but get no enjoyment watching Davis or Crabtree catch receptions, so watching 49ers games are futile. You don't want them to get destroyed too bad because you pity them, but you don't want them to do well either. Don't watch 49ers games. They will suck, guaranteed.
30	Denver Broncos	The Denver Broncos are a solid and improving team, but those improvements are mainly defensive, with Brandon Marshall now on the Dolphins. Elvis Dumervil, Brian Dawkins, and Champ Bailey are fun to watch, but until the Broncos show some sort of defensive consistency, the defense won't get much credit. Knowshon Moreno is still far from being an elite running back, and Kyle Orton, though improving, doesn't have anyone to throw to. How they use Tim Tebow will definitely be a draw, but I really don't see them using him very extensively. Basically, the Broncos are going to have another tough year, and there aren't many crowd-pleasing players left to keep me watching.
29	New York Giants	Eli Manning to Steve Smith. That's the New York Giants offense. Sure, Bradshaw is a decent back and sure, Justin Tuck can make defensive plays, but few other players have proved their tv-rating grabbing abilities. Michael Strahan is gone, Osi Umenyiora is old, and Brandon Jacobs has disappeared. The Giants historically have never been a very fun team to watch, but this year is going to be painful. If Hixon and Manningham can up their game, they have a chance at being exciting. Until then, let's just be glad that Jeremy Shockey isn't there anymore.
28	St. Louis Rams	The Rams suck. Again. Sam Bradford couldn't have asked for a worse situation. With the stud receivers he has in Donnie Avery and Laurent Robinson, the Rams won't suck any less. A lot of people like Steven Jackson, but all he does is put up meaningless numbers. There's nothing new under the sun - the Rams still suck. And it's not worth watching them suck again.
27	Oakland Raiders	If Jason Campbell is considered a big improvement at the quarterback position, there's something wrong with your team. That said, the Raiders, especially when Gradkowski was leading the team, have shown a big amount of heart. They play physically and with heart. Michael Bush and Darren McFadden are solid running backs that can make big plays. The Raiders have cut a lot of dead weight, literally (Jamarcus Russell), and I really believe that the Raiders will have one of the best seasons they've had recently.
26	Kansas City Chiefs	I like the Chiefs, I really do. But I don't think that everyone else does. The Chiefs may be a much better football team this year, but they won't be much more fun to watch. Like all the other boring teams, the Chiefs have a mediocre quarterback (Matt Cassell hasn't proved his worth since he left the Patriots) with no one to throw to. Jamaal Charles might break a few big ones, but he is probably the only big-play threats on the team. Remember when Tyler Thigpen caught that touchdown pass two years ago? That was probably the most exciting thing that's happened on the Chiefs in the last decade.
25	Jacksonville Jaguars	The problem with the Jaguars is that they have no fan base, so every game they play really doesn't matter. We all sympathize for Mojo, but the truth is no one really cares whether the Jaguars win or lose, making it difficult to want to watch Jaguars games, especially as they play the other very likable, very exciting teams of the AFC South. Watching the Jaguars is just like watching movies or television without any emotional connection to the characters...crappy. (Anyone watch the new show Persons Unknown? It sucks.)
24	Buffalo Bills	Yes, this spot is quite high for a team as bad as the Bills. This high ranking is 100% attributed to their new speed demon, CJ Spiller, who's the second coming of Chris Johnson. If the Bills play their cards right and find a good split between Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller (notice I didn't even mention Marshawn Lynch), Spiller will light it up for the Bills. Watch his highlights here and here and here. Believe the hype. Great things will happen.
23	Cleveland Browns	Joshua Cribbs and Jerome Harrison bring the only taste of elite talent on this talent-depleted squad. While I think that the Browns will do better with Delhomme leading the offense, the Browns suck and will probably continue sucking. But does anyone get tired of watching teams from Cleveland lose? I guess in that sense, they'll be very enjoyable to watch. Let's just hope Cribbs doesn't decide to take his talents down to South Beach...
22	Pittsburg Steelers	Stifling defense and ground-and-pound offense may win championship, but it doesn't win viewers. Big Ben is the one reason to watch the Steelers, with his great mobility and innovation once forced out of the pocket and the amazing comebacks that he puts together. The four weeks that the Steelers go without Ben could either be extremely painful or, in the less likely case, exciting because of the speed of Dennis Dixon. The Steelers have always been fun to watch because they were good, but I just don't think they'll be that great this year.
21	Carolina Panthers	Believe it or not, I think the Carolina Panthers should have kept Jake Delhomme despite his dismal last season. The learning curve is going to be hard on Matt Moore (or Jimmy Clausen), but DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart should be able to provide the spark the team needs for a solid season. Let's not forget about Steve Smith, too. Even though he hasn't played like a superstar, he is still extremely talented and fun to watch.
20	Washington Redskins	The worst team in the NFC East...will remain the worst team in the NFC East. The acquisition of Donovan Mcnabb will certainly help the offense, but the defense isn't going to be any better, Albert Haynesworth is making sure of that. The Redskins have a lot of potential, but unless the team actually believes it can win, it never will. But it's nice to see that Santana Moss might play up to his potential and that Clinton Portis doesn't have to do all the work on the team. Will Donovan be able to turn the Redskins around? I'll be watching to see.
19	Chicago Bears	Jay Cutler is a baby and a diva, and no one likes seeing baby divas win (unless it's a real baby diva, which would make him adorable). Matt Forte was a fantasy football (and real life) bust, turning a lot of fans against him. The only guys worth watching are Devin Hester (who still has no hands), Johnny Knox (who I think is better than Hester), and Chestor Taylor (who has to back up the incompetent Forte). The best part about watching Bears games is watching Jay Cutler throw red zone interceptions. Man, are those exciting!
18	Houston Texans	Anyone who knows me knows that I have a man-crush on Matt Schaub, and it kills me to have to have the Texans in the bottom half. Take away Andre, and the Texans offense is very pedestrian. The loss of Steve Slaton to suckiness really takes away much of the explosiveness of the offense, leaving an average passing attack. Even still, the Texans will manage to put together a solid season. I'm sure of it.
17	Detroit Lions	The Detroit Lions look almost like a complete team. A franchise quarterback, an elite receiver, an explosive running back, and a dominant defensive player. The Lions probably won't make the playoffs this year, but they will certainly win more games than they have in the last few years. I personally like watching the Lions because they play like they have nothing to lose, which they don't, which makes their wins mean so much more and their losses hurt less (unless you're a true Lions fan, I guess).

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