New Insights into Suffering

Some of you know that recently I went through certain pain that I've never gone through before (if you don't know, I would appreciate it if you didn't ask), and I understood a little better God's grace through suffering. I'm going to apologize ahead of time if this post is incoherent and scatter-brained. In truth, this post is more like a collage of different thoughts I've had in the past few weeks. There's just absolutely too much that God has done in my life these last few weeks, and it's kind of difficult to organize it nicely and make it all make sense.

After it all, the key lesson I learned is that a concern with God's glory is the only way to get through suffering. I realized that I would never make it through any pain focusing on myself, and that the only way to get through it all is to be focused on God's glory, seeing the ways he is growing me and preparing me for the future.

I read the following passage for my quiet time this morning:

Acts 4:40-41 - "and when they had called in the apostles, they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name."

The morning after it all happened, when I was driving up to Nathan's, I listened to a DA Carson lecture on suffering (which can be found here), where he presented a lot of good points to suffering, and in which he mentioned the above Scripture. He said that the apostles rejoiced in their suffering because it was their first taste of suffering, and Jesus had promised them persecution, but so far in their ministry, everything had been going their way. Jesus had told them to take their crosses up daily (which isn't a light statement) and to follow him. Carson said that the disciples must have been thinking "Hmm...everything is going awesomely. People are accepting the gospel, and everyone seems to love us. But Jesus had told us that we would suffer. Are we doing something wrong?" They rejoiced in their suffering because they knew that they were glorified God and were in his will! This is also my prayer - that God would give me suffering so that I can rejoice in serving him and having the honor of being dishonored for his name. After spending the weekend with Nathan, driving back, I for the first time in my life sincerely asked God to give me more suffering. It was the weirdest thing in the world, how the Spirit would lead me to such a prayer! I asked God, "God, if it will bring you more glory, give me more suffering. I want to suffer for you." I asked God to make me suffer more for his name's sake, praying with the faith that God will sustain me in my times of suffering. I never in a million years would have thought that after such a difficult weekend, I would ask God for MORE suffering! God is good, and his Spirit has really been working in my life. Glory to God.

Today at work, I listened to a Paul Washer sermon on my phone (which I highly recommend and you can watch here), and man was it convicting! I don't always agree with the way Paul Washer approaches things, but there is a real seriousness of his faith that he exhorts to have. It really got me thinking about the seriousness of my own faith. In a segment of his talk (starting here), Washer talks about how in Romans 10:9, when Paul says "if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved", he talks about how we often take public confession of Christ extremely lightly, and how the audience to whom Paul wrote faced execution for a public confession of faith.

Brothers and sisters, we need to take our faith seriously. We need to be training ourselves now so we are equipped to serve God more fully. We need to be holy, because God our Father is holy. We need to have radical love for others and be bold in sharing the gospel. Above all, we need to be concerned with the glory of God. Whatever we do, may it be for his glory!

For those of you who took Conformed to His Likeness with me at Compelling this last fall, if you remember, Pat (the leader lady) recommended us read the Book of Martyrs. I've been wanting to read it for a while, and lucky for me, it's free for the Kindle (thanks again, Mandrew!)! Actually, the entire book is also available here in PDF format if you want to read it. I just read the first chapter, and it's incredibly difficult not to be moved. The gospel MUST be true for all of these men to die for it. It must be! I know that especially for us unschooled Asian-Americans, we don't really know much about our church fathers, so I just put the first part of the first chapter into a nice little table so we can see the suffering that our church fathers went through. I hope you are as moved as I was when I first read it, and I hope that you'll go take a look at that PDF and read some of it for yourself!

Disclaimer: For the "not sure" spots, I mainly put it there because the book doesn't say explicitly and I didn't go research it, but hopefully I can do a little better research online and come back and update them. I have added links to some artist renditions of the apostles' martyrdom if I could find them.

Apostle	Year of Martyrdom	Place of Death	How he died
James the Great (son of Zebedee, brother of John)	AD 44	Judea	"As James was led to the place of martyrdom, his accuser was brought to repent of his conduct by the apostle's extraordinary courage and undauntedness, and fell down at his feet to request his pardon, professing himself as a christian, and resolving that James should not receive the crown of martyrdom alone. Hence they were both beheaded at the same time. Thus did the first apostolic martyr cheerfully and resolutely receive that cup, which he had told our Savior he was ready to drink."
Philip	AD 54	Heliopolis, in Phrygia (Upper Asia)	Crucified
Matthew	AD 60	Nadabah, Ethiopia	Slain with a halberd
James the Less (former brother of Jesus)	Not sure	Jerusalem	Stoned by the Jews, and "finally had his brains dashed out with a fuller's club"
Mattias (Judas' replacement)	Not sure	Jerusalem	Stoned, then beheaded
Andrew (brother of Peter)	Not sure	Edessa	Crucified, with two ends of the cross on the ground.
St. Mark	Not Sure	Alexandria	Body was dragged to pieces
Peter	Not sure	Rome(?)	Crucified upside-down upon own request, as he didn't find himself worthy to die in the same way Christ did.
Paul	AD 67	Rome	Beheaded
Jude	AD 72	Edessa	Crucified
Bartholomew	Not sure	India	Cruelly beaten, then crucified
Thomas	Not sure	India	Thrust through with a spear
Luke	Not sure	Greece	Hung on an olive tree
Simon (the Zealot)	AD 74	Britain	Sawed in half. (The book said he was crucified, but the great internets says differently).
John	Not martyred	Patmos(?)	Pulled out of a cauldron of boiling oil, then exiled to the Isle of Patmos. He was the only apostle who didn't die a violent death.
Barnabas	AD 73	Cyprus	Stoned to death

We see this list of great men, and we complain about having to get up early to do our quiet times!!! GOD FORGIVE US FOR OUR UNHOLINESS AND SELFISHNESS.

A great Paul Washer sermon on taking your faith seriously (thanks Mark!). The first one is good too. As I said before, I don't completely agree with the way he presents everything, but it's definitely still worth struggling through.

1 Corinthians 12:8-10 - "Three times I pleaded with the LORD about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God, make me a martyr for you. Father, bestow upon me the privilege and joy of suffering for you. Use me in any way, O God. Teach me how to serve you more fully. God, humble me. Include me in this impossible mission you have for the world. God, I want to serve you. I want your gospel to be made known. God, I want to die for you, confessing Jesus as Lord. Give me faith, give me endurance, give me love, give me patience so I can better serve and glorify you. God, help me to serve you well right now. God teach me to sacrifice. And God, I know that it's not by my strength, but by your Son, who died on the cross for me. It is only in his power that I can do anything at all.

Related Post: My Lack of Suffering

Church Hopping Week 3 - Providence Presbyterian Church

Last Sunday, February 5th, I visited a church called Providence Presbyterian Church. After looking online, I found that Providence is the only Reformed church in the area (other than PC-USA churches, which I refuse to consider), so I decided to check it out. Providence Presbyterian is the first PCA church I've ever visited, and even though I didn't really believe that churches could be more traditional and conservative than Knox, I was wrong.

In A Nutshell: A small, very traditional church with sound teaching, decent preaching, and some new young professional blood.

Church Overview

Affiliation - Presbyterian Church in America (wiki, official site)
Attendance - Less than 75 people
Demographics - Almost all white, family church with a good number of kids and middle-aged adults, with fewer older folk and young adults.

Sunday Service

The church service was extremely traditional, much more traditional than I was used to. Because the church itself was kind of small, the sanctuary felt pretty full with just around 75 people, giving the church really a lively feeling.

Sunday School

Providence holds their Sunday School an hour before before their church service at 10:30, so I decided to go and give it a shot. The church is one of those smaller churches so that when you walk in, you're basically standing in the back of the sanctuary. I pointed at the sanctuary and asked one of the greeters if that was Sunday school, and he told me that it was, so I went in and sat down. I must have been only the 3rd person in that room other than the teacher (who kind of looked like Mad-Eye Moody from the Harry Potter movies, without the mad eye, of course) who was there. The teacher, who I assumed was the pastor, was speaking on James, and Lord bless him, I thought it was one of the most boring Sunday school classes I've ever been to. The teacher had basically compiled different commentaries for a few of the verses we were going through, and he basically talked through each commentary one by one, helping us have a full understanding of what James was saying in the passage. Now I must say that after meeting him afterwards and having a meal with him during the week, I realized how good of a man he is and how
he is really just sort of like a genius who doesn't do that well communicating his thoughts. I found out that he actually wasn't the pastor but an elder of the church that is an economics professor at a nearby Christian college, which explains his uber-scholastic approach to the Word.

While I was in Sunday school, I was surprised at how small the church was, with only around 7 people, and so I expected the Sunday worship to be tiny too, but once Sunday School ended, people just started to fill the sanctuary (which can probably hold between 80-100 people). I then realized that there was actually another Sunday school going on downstairs, which was the "family study" on the church Reformers. The class sounds super interesting, so if I went back to that church, I'd like to check that Sunday school class out.

The Worship

This was probably the most traditional worship service I've ever been to. Like Calvary Baptist, there was only one worship leader at the front, but unlike it (and all the other churches I've ever been to), there was no PowerPoint presentation. Yes, that's right. Hymnals, baby. There wasn't even any instruments visible from the pews, as the piano, the only instrument, was actually played from a balcony behind us. After visiting Providence, I now appreciate the technology in our worship services so much more. The entire service was like some sort of Christian treasure hunt, as I juggled the bulletin, and 3 books - the Bible, the hymnal, and the psalter(. "We will now be singing hymn 342 from the hymnal. Now get out your bulletin, and we will be reading this confession together. Flip to 1 John 4:9,10 and read aloud together. Now open your psalters to Psalm 133, and let's sing together. Now let's open our hymnals to page 846 as we recite the Nicene Creed together. Now let's open up to Leviticus 19:9-18 for our Old Testament reading. Let's read John 15:9-15 for our New Testament reading" This goes on for even more (4 more hymns and 2 more Scripture readings), but you get the idea. It just felt like there was so much going on, it was hard to just be still and focus on God until it came time for communion.

Look at how busy the schedule for the service is!

The Sermon

The sermon (which you can listen to here), was alright. I'm beginning to see how rare great preachers like Pastor Chuck, Tim Keller, and Mark Driscoll really are. The sermon wasn't as mind-blowing or gospel-oriented as I've become used to, but it was still a solid sermon. One of the things that I've notice in the few churches I've been to is that the sermons are extremely targeted towards Christians. I can understand how pastors who live in such a Christian-saturated area preaching in smaller churches with few non-Christians would naturally drift to only addressing Christians, but I still wish that the pastors would have that "open chair policy" kind of mentality to continue to be missional. I'm not an expert on non-Christian thinking and stuff, but I suspect that most non-Christians would have a difficult time really understanding what was said in the sermon. This all said, the sermon was pretty good, and while I wish there was a tad more gospel in it, it was still quite clear and convicting for me.

A cool thing about the whole worship service is that many of the Scripture passages that we read I had actually JUST read. For example, the call to worship was Psalm 24, which is what I was scheduled to read that night, and I had just read John 15:9-10, which was the New Testament reading, for my quiet times the day before. The Word has really been good to me recently, and this is just another example of God making everything work out perfectly for me.

I'm beginning to realize how boring our MCCC bulletins are...

Fellowship Meal

On the first Sunday of every month, the church has a potluck lunch after service, and I was lucky enough to choose the right week to go! The food was pretty amazing (after eating my own crappy home-cooking for weeks, any food tasted amazing), and I got a chance to meet new people and to sit down and talk to them. I was particularly happy to get a chance to meet the young adults of the church, of which there were three. All of them had just started going to Providence Presbyterian in the last few months, and were pretty similar to me (despite all being close to 30) - they all just came out of great, missional churches (like Tenth Presbyterian and Capitol Hill Baptist) and were facing the anti-climactic switch to a smaller church. They were all excited to be a part of a church that reached out and evangelized and fed the poor and cared for the sick. We talked about how Reformed teaching is exploding all around the country, especially with the young people, and we'd really like to see the gospel and Biblical teaching grow in Fort Wayne. It's pretty cool getting to meet people for the first time that share your vision for the church. We had a great lunch conversation about the poor, social justice, and other related topics and I got home from church at around 2:00 because we talked for so long!

Reflection 

What I liked
Connection with young adults - As I mentioned, I felt a sense of unity with the young adults that were already there. Also, one of them was a Taiwanese-American (who was married to one another of the young adults), and I think it was the first time I've seen an Asian-American in any of the churches I've visited! For some reason, even though everyone else in the church was white, just having someone else that looked like me made me feel a lot more at home. Both of the young men that I met sent me emails to say hi, and I got to watch the Super Bowl with one of them and then had dinner in the middle of the week with him. They had started discussing the possibility of starting a young adult Bible study or something like that, which is definitely something I would want to be a part of.

Hospitality - It might have just been because it was fellowship meal Sunday, but it was nice having people come up to me and talk to me, and getting a chance to have an extended conversation with the pastor, who turns out to be a very interesting and funny man.

Intellectually Challenging - This isn't something I directly experienced at church yet, but having dinner with the economics professor and one of the young adults who was a lawyer, its obvious that many of the people who attend Providence are highly educated and know their stuff. If I decide to come to this church, I really could learn a lot and grow a lot in my thinking.

What I didn't like as much
Traditional Worship- I really wasn't used to the extremely traditional worship. I wasn't used to singing from a hymnal and I wasn't familiar with any of the songs that we sang. I know worship isn't meant to be to rile up emotions, but I had a hard time focusing on God amidst all the busyness of the service. If I was to come to this church, I'd really need to work to get used to this worship style.

Small Group Bible Studies on Sunday - For some reason reason, it seems like all for all the churches I've visited, small groups are always on the weekends. I would much rather have small group Bible studies during the week so I have stuff to do and more time on the weekends, and it would be nice to have church stuff spread out in the week rather than just have it all on one day.

The Verdict

Even though I'm not used to the worship style and how traditional Providence Presbyterian Church is, I'm really glad that I got to meet like-minded young adults (one of whom was Asian!) that I wouldn't mind doing ministry together with. Providence is the only Reformed church in Fort Wayne, and I'd really love to be a part of a church that could be a light for the gospel in the area. If I don't find another church that I really like soon, I very well could end up at Providence Presbyterian!

Next up: St. Andrew Evangelical Presbyterian Church (2/12/2012)

Church Hopping Week 1 - Fellowship Community Church
Church Hopping Week 2 - Calvary Baptist Church

Church Hopping Week 2 - Calvary Baptist Church

This Sunday, January 29th, I visited a church called Calvary Baptist Church. In trying to deciding what church to go to in the previous night, and despite it's older-looking websites, after listening to a little bit of the pastor's last sermons, I decided to give this church a shot.

In A Nutshell: A seemingly Bible belt church with a small, older congregation with a passionate preacher.

Church Overview

Affiliation - Southern Baptist Convention (wiki, official site)
Attendance - Less than 75 people
Demographics - Around 90% white, with half of the congregation around 60 years of age or older

The Environment

From the outside, the church building looked modest and simple, and because the church has its Sunday School before the worship service, I walked into the church practically alone (there was only one other person walking into the church, which was an old man walking slowly to the door). It was a weird feeling, because it felt like I had arrived late because no one else was outside, when I really hadn't. But once I stepped through the doors, it felt like church again. People were talking, there were ushers outside who said hi to me, shook my hand, and gave me a bulletin. Stepping into the sanctuary, I realized how empty the church was. Each pew, which could probably sit 8-10 people, was only occupied by 2 or 3 people. There was so much empty space that I'm sure that less than half of the sanctuary was filled. I felt a little awkward because it didn't feel like the congregation wasn't really into singing but the speakers seemed to be turned up pretty loud, but given the older demographics, it didn't really bother me too much. Thinking about it, it was a very loud service overall (the pastor shouted a lot and his mic was turned way up too), and I wonder if the audio was turned up so loud because the older members could hear it better. Hmm...

Calvary Baptist Church building

Sunday Service

The service was traditional, but with a few more "modern evangelical" tweaks to it. For example, the drama team did a skit about prayer before the worship started. It was a little bit cheesy, but fairly well done, and the congregation seemed to enjoy it. The church also did the thing where the kids were there during worship and then went to the front for a short kids message by the pastor before heading off to their own worship service, something that I'm not sure is a staple in "traditional" churches.

The Worship

It was traditional in the sense that there was only one worship leader who sang in the front with only a piano being played. There was a small choir singing behind the worship leader, but it seemed kind of informal because they weren't wearing robes or anything. The songs we sang were all straight out of the Baptist Hymnal, with the only song I knew being "There's Something About That Name." Even though I wasn't familiar with most of the songs, the upbeatness of the music made it still quite enjoyable.

The Sermon

I don't know how many of you have watched Bee Movie with Jerry Seinfeld, but it's strangely one of my favorite animated movies. Anyways, the preacher really reminded me of the lawyer for the humans - a large, loud, charismatic, and expressive speaker. I had wanted to put a Youtube video of the lawyer from Bee Movie here, but unfortunately I don't think it was popular enough of a movie for people to post videos of it onto Youtube. Well anyways, Pastor Mike was seemed like one of the stereotypical Bible belt preachers - speaking with simple language and relatable stories with a lot of fire and passion. [A random sidenote about the pastor: after listening to one of his online sermons and the live sermon, it seems to me like he might be in the habit of crying during his talks. Something that's not good or bad, just interesting.] The sermon itself was on abortion and the sanctity of life (because it was sanctity of life Sunday), so it was a little bit harder to gauge what a "normal" sermon would be like. Pastor Mike brought up a lot of simple and understandable arguments against abortion that I haven't heard before. I hope to talk about abortion and the stuff that he brought up in a future post dedicated to abortion, but in general, I enjoyed his sermon, even though I wish that it was a normal exposition. Pastor Mike did touch on the gospel, but he self-admittedly didn't talk about it as much as he had wanted to. Even though I think there were definitely prime locations and spots that he could have stuck in a remark or two about Jesus in talking about abortion, I think that it was still an alright sermon, nowhere near as bad as the sermon from the previous week.

Wednesday Night Bible Study

Because I wanted to check out the church more (and because I am bored out of my mind in my apartment), I decided to check out their Wednesday night Bible study, which was on Romans. Including the pastor, there were around 10 people there, all of which were white, and most of whom were 50 or older. That said, Pastor Mike definitely knows his stuff, as we spent a bunch of our time discussing the main reasons for the Reformation (and why the Catholic church does some bogus stuff) and the origins of different denominations. To put it bluntly, Pastor Mike is blunt. He does NOT care about political correctness, which made the talk about other denominations very interesting. We didn't get to spend that much time on Romans itself, but he promised that next week it would be more straight Scripture study, as I had caught them at the beginning of their series on Romans, and he had just wanted to lay some background and some reasons why Romans is so important. The main difference between that Bible study and a Knox Sunday school was the involvement of the other members. I might be just judging a little too much, but many of those at the study seemed more quick to speak than to listen, wanting to share their own stories and experiences rather than just take in and process all the information the pastor was giving. Again, stereotyping, maybe this it's just an age thing, or maybe it's an education-level thing, where Knox is a highly-educated church and Fort Wayne is a blue-collar manufacturing town. [One guy in the Sunday school was wearing an Ohio State jacket, so you know what I'm dealing with here. Hehe.]

Reflection 

What I liked
Preaching - The preaching wasn't as sensational and amazing as Pastor Chuck's preaching, but I don't think that the preaching is in any way a weakness of the church.

Nice People, Homey Feeling - The people in the church were extremely welcoming, with many coming up to me after the service to talk to me and get to know me better. Multiple people invited me to a future dinner that they were having (that sadly I won't be able to attend), and multiple people invited me to come next week and to stay at the church.

Biblical focus - The church, and the pastor especially, seem to be committed to preaching and teaching the Word. The church seems really strongly grounded and won't be easily swayed by the latest evangelical fad or liberal trend.

What I didn't like as much
Demographics - The biggest issue for me is really the lack of people around me that I can relate to. Frankly, I felt out of place when I walked into that church Sunday morning and I felt out of place when I walked into the Bible study Wednesday night. I may be the only young person in that church, and that would definitely be hard for me.

Extreme Conservatism - As I had said before, this church felt like a real Bible belt church, and to me, in this age of postmodernism and secularism, the church really isn't well-suited for evangelism to the next generation. The church can probably end up being perceived as an anti-gay, anti-choice, and anti-science kind of church, which would prove problematic for me to reach out to people that have more of a background like me.

The Verdict

Calvary Baptist Church is a nice little church with a solid foundation, and even though it doesn't really fit many of the preferences that I had wanted, if no other church seems like a viable solution, I wouldn't mind attending the church. One of the concerns for me is that I had wanted to be spiritually brought up in more of a Reformed tradition to follow in the footsteps of Bijan and Pastor Bob and Pastor Chuck, not just because they're smart people, but because everything they say about it seems right. The church holds to predestination and more Calvanist beliefs in regards to salvation, but with regards to child baptism and the end times, I've liked much of the Presbyterian position.

Next up: Providence Presbyterian Church (2/5/2012)

Church Hopping Week 1 - Fellowship Community Church

Church Hopping Week 1 - Fellowship Missionary Church

As you all know, I'm new to the Fort Wayne area and am looking for a new home church, and so far I've visited two different churches in the area. It's really a shame that there's only one Sunday a week for me to visit churches, and with so many churches in the area, I might be church-hopping for a while! I should have started last week, but I'm going to document the churches that I visit so the different churches don't get mixed up in my head and I can remember the ones that I liked.

Last Sunday, January 22, my parents and I went to visit Fellowship Missionary Church. This was the church that one of Pastor Al's friend (one of my old pastors) attends, so we decided to check it out.

In A Nutshell: Very much like a huge New Life for adults, only with less Jesus.

Church Overview

Affiliation - Missionary Church (wiki, official site)
Attendance - 2,200 people, split up into 3 services
Demographics - Very diverse. Probably only 2/3 of the church was white, and a the rest were black or Hispanic, but we were the only Asians that we saw. Overall, the church was also very young, with a good number of young adults.

The Environment

Just walking into the building, it was very obvious that the church was very modern. They had a little cafe/lounge area to sit down and drink coffee, and instead of calling their worship center a sanctuary, they called it the "Activities Center". As we walked towards the Activity Center, we saw a lot of different stands and displays, with some booths set up for different ministries (like the Youth, Men's and Women's ministries) and some informational boards on the different missionaries being sponsored around the world. Even though everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and having a good time, we were never welcomed by an usher and our hands were never shaken. This is probably because of how large of a church it was, but as a new person who felt lost in such a big church, a welcome from someone would have been nice. The church itself seemed like a school building that had been converted to a church, and the auditorium seated around 800. The lighting and stage and everything of the auditorium reminded me a little bit of Urbana, with just a really big stage and really flashy technology.

Service

Overall the service didn't really have a sense of reverence to it. There wasn't a call to worship, a corporate Scripture reading, or a benediction, and the time for tithes was just slipped in and basically ignored, almost an afterthought. The worship was good, but the "sermon" wasn't much more than just advice from a guy on a stage.

The Worship

The music was really, really quality. It was a band of around 8 or 9 that spread themselves across the big stage. The songs we sang ranged from contemporary Christian worship songs from a decade ago to the most recent worship songs, and the execution of those songs were amazing - it really reminded me of New Life. Random note: their electric guitarist was sick! Also, because the service was held in what looked like it used to be a school auditorium, they had stage lights, so they did some cool light work on the band as the worship went on, like like moving around and changing colors and stuff. The worship was so contemporary that I found it hard to believe that older white people (of which there were a good number) would actually enjoy it. Maybe it's just me, but I have a hard time picturing 70 year old white gentlemen and ladies rocking out to Jesus Culture or Hillsong. But that all said, I really enjoyed the worship.

The Sermon

The talk (video here) we heard was the last of a three-part series on money called "Give. Save. Love". The pastor, Pastor Dave DeSelm, was really funny and extremely engaging, extensively using multimedia like a spiffy PowerPoint presentation and a long video at the end. He attempted to speak out of Deuteronomy 28:12-14, and, long story short, he is basically like Joel Olsteen with a Scripture reading in the beginning. He was just as engaging as Olsteen, gave a little more statistical and educated talk than Olsteen normally does, but just like him, he often repeated some nice quotables and gave a few self-glorifying stories on how not getting into debt has affected his life. To call the message shallow is an understatement. He was basically exhorting people to not get into debt and to live carefully with their money, saying things like "Live within the rest (of what you have after you've given and saved)" and "Living within one's means is not spending money you don't have." I learned a lot about the different statistics about credit card debt and interest rates and the difference between "good debt" and "bad debt". I learned some tips on how to budget and how to save money. But I didn't learn about Jesus. Not once in his message did Pastor Dave ever mention the name of Jesus. I think it's kind of funny that in claiming to preach against moralism and living a "free" life, churches like this (and Joel Olsteen's church) really just end up being moralistic churches because really any rule, or even guideline, ends up that way without Jesus.

My parents told me afterwards, "God prepared this message for you", as we had just been talking about a lot of money issues after getting an apartment and buying a car, but I was horrified. I told them how it was terrible and how Jesus wasn't even mentioned and everything, and my mom just replied, "I know, I know. But if you don't think of it like you came to worship God and think of it more as a financial seminar, it isn't so bad." The sad thing is that she's totally right. Marc Driscoll says that as Christians, we have good news, not just good advice. It's sad that you can walk into a church and leave only with some good advice but not the good news of Jesus.

This spiffy-lookin' thing was their bulletin for the week.

Reflection 

What I liked
Diversity - Given how predominantly white Fort Wayne has seemed so far, Fellowship Missionary Church was truly a multi-ethnic church. Not only was there people of different races, but there seemed to be immigrants from different countries and also a diversity of socio-economic status.

Youth - The church also seemed to have a good balance between young people and older people, something that I'm definitely looking for in a church.

Ministries - Looking at the bulletin, there was a long list of different ministries and classes that I could participate in. There was stuff from Christian book teachings to men's ministry to cell groups.

Community Service - The church seemed to also be very involved in a lot of different community service ministries throughout Fort Wayne, and actually at the service, the pastor presented two checks of around $44,000 each to two different organizations in the area. Apparently every Christmas service, they donate the entire amount of money given to the church that week to charities, and they presented those checks during the service that we attended.

Seems Mission-focused - I need to be careful in saying that the church is mission-focused because missions without Gospel isn't missions at all, but the church does seem to be involved in various movements around the world and it seems to have sent missionaries out, and there seems to be a good amount of resources invested in missional sort of endeavors like missional prayer and learning about the world and stuff.

What I didn't like
Size - As I mentioned before, it seemed way too easy to get lost in such a big church, and it didn't seem to me like the people that attended really knew that many other people that attended the church. There wasn't the tighter-knit sort of community in the church that I had grown accustomed too bad at home and at Knox.

No Gospel - This is the kicker. Above all, this is the reason that I cannot attend a church like Fellowship Missionary Church. It became apparent to me, looking through the Sunday School classes offered and the different ministries and the talk, that this is one of those churches that only exists to help make good Christians better. It's solely focused on application and how to be a "good" Christian and live a "better" life. All of these suspicions were ultimately affirmed in probably THE worst "sermon" I have ever heard in my life (Ken White's talk on politics in AIV is a close second, but Pastor White gets a tiny bit more leeway because it was a Friday night message, not a Sunday morning sermon), as the name of Jesus was never mentioned and the saving grace of God wasn't even alluded to. My parents suggested that the focus on application might have been because of the lower socio-economic and academic standing of the congregation (in comparison to Knox and MCCC), and while I agree, it really isn't much of an excuse. In the end, people need Jesus, not financial advice.

The Verdict

As much as FMC offers that other churches in the area probably won't, such as youth and diversity, church really isn't church without Jesus, and the gospel was not preached or even touched upon in the message. I'm tempted to go back and visit to see if it was just this one week that was horrible, but I think the reality is that if a pastor has a clear conscious giving a sermon without the any sort of gospel once, this church isn't somewhere that I want to be.

Moral of the story: Enjoy Knox while you're there, you lucky college kids!!

Why I Chose Raytheon

For those of you who don't know, starting January 23rd, 2012, I will be working for the Network Centric Systems division of Raytheon located in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm going to be flying out to Fort Wayne on the 17th with my parents to look for an apartment, buy a car, buy furniture, and all that other fun adult stuff that costs a lot of money.

I haven't gotten a chance to explain to most of you why I've decided to go work for Raytheon at Fort Wayne, Indiana, so here are some of those reasons!

Good Company

Raytheon is a large defense contractor and industrial company with around 76,000 employees that does just about everything in the world. Because of the diversity of their products, Raytheon's eggs aren't all in one basket and can survive the different ebbs and flows of the economy (such as the recent cut in military spending). Also, the size of the company allows me to try new things, so I could work on different products and in different engineering areas in my time with Raytheon. I'm not completely sure what I'm going to be working on but I'll be in the Network Centric Systems division of Raytheon, of which there are around a thousand employees in the Fort Wayne location. When I visited Raytheon, it really seemed like all the people that I talked to really enjoyed working for Raytheon, and many of the employees talked about how good of a company Raytheon is and how well the company treats its employees, so I'm excited to be a part of this company! Also, isn't "Raytheon" just a really awesome name for a company?!

Good Work

I've always wanted to work on something that's meaningful, or at least meaningful to me. Ever since college started, I've felt like God has been leaning me towards this defense sort of work. I worked for the Army at Fort Monmouth for two summers and worked at Harris Corporation (another defense contractor) last summer. I don't remember all that much of what I did at Fort Monmouth, but what I will never forget is the feeling of working on and being a part of something that was bigger than myself or even the project that I was working on. There were signs and posters in hallways all throughout every building with pictures of soldiers and inspirational quotes and reminders like "You are supporting the warfighter!" and "Information security starts with you!". Since that internship experience, I've told myself that I want to do work that makes a real difference in people's lives.

When I was interviewing for a job at Harris Corporation, I shared this desire of mine with my interviewer (his name was Tim), and he said that part of working for Harris was this chance to really make a difference. Tim told me this awesome story of being at an airport wearing a Harris shirt or jacket or something and having a soldier come up to him and ask him, "Do you work for Harris Corporation?" Tim said he did. The soldier then asked him if he worked on some specific radio, and Tim said he did. Then the soldier went on to tell Tim that the radio that Harris made ended up saving his life because he was trapped behind enemy lines (or something like that) and he was able to use the radio to call in for help, and the soldier thanked Tim for his work. Tim told me that what struck him is that usually it is us civilians who thank our armed forces for their service, but it was actually the soldier who thanked Tim for his work!

Now I'm not going to work for Harris, but I want to be part of a company that makes products that makes a real difference in people's lives. I'm not talking about a "faster browser" kind of difference or even a "make a rich man richer" sort of a difference, but a real, life-saving kind of difference, and I think that Raytheon will give me an opportunity to do that.

Good location

It may not seem like Fort Wayne, Indiana is a great town to be in, and while it's not a college town like Ann Arbor, there are some certain advantages of living in Fort Wayne in comparison to the other places that offered me jobs.

Low Living Cost
Fort Wayne is very cheap to live in! The housing is cheap, the groceries are cheap, and the utilities are all cheaper. Plug in some numbers on this site to compare living costs! $100,000 earned in Fort Wayne is comparable to a salary of $132,237 here in Monmouth County in NJ.

Close to Ann Arbor
Fort Wayne is only around 2.5 hours from Ann Arbor, so I could go visit my likkle sister and all the other kiddies still in college! So if any of you people in Ann Arbor want to hang out on the weekends or want to come visit me, just let me know!

Proximity to big cities
Fort Wayne is around 2 hours from Detroit, 2 hours from Indianapolis, and 3 hours from Chicago. This makes it possible for me to go to different cities to do different stuff, though I'm mostly just interested in watching sporting events, like watching Lions games, maybe attending some Bulls games, and watching whatever Big Ten events are held in Indianapolis.

Churches
Fort Wayne is also known as the City of Churches, with around 365 churches in the area for around 250,000 people. Not only are there a lot of churches, there should also be some quality churches in the area. I have already been recommended two churches that have congregations of 2,500 and 1,500 people. Church hopping may take a while...

Good Career Decision

To put it simply, Raytheon not only offered me the largest salary in comparison to the other companies I was considering, they also offered me a higher starting position. I think that it is the best decision for my career to go to Raytheon, as I will be able to have some sort of a head start and possibly advance a little faster.

All in all, I'm very happy and excited at my chance to work at Raytheon. Thankfully, I do not feel subject to the following comic!

Prayer Requests
Life isn't going to be easy, so I would really appreciate your prayer!

Living Situation
Pray that we will be able to find a fitting and cheap apartment next week and that I will be able to find and buy a car, furniture, and all the other essential things that I need.

Work Lifestyle
The working lifestyle is completely different from a college lifestyle, and it may take some time for me to fully adjust to it. Pray that I will be able to be awake in the morning and to do good work throughout the day.

Christian Community
Pray that I will be to find a good church and a good Christian community that I can be a part of and contribute to.

Personal Growth
Pray that I would continually be renewed day by day and that I would be constantly growing closer to Jesus!

Again, thanks so much for your prayers!

Why I Hate "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus"

There has been this video floating around the internets the last few days of a guy reading a poem that he wrote about how he hates religion because Jesus hates religion and how the truth of the love of Jesus is so much better. It's been shared 10 times by my Facebook friends and has actually even found its way on to reddit. If you haven't seen it, I've embedded it at the bottom of the post if you really want to watch a silly misleading gospel presentation. This video is just a little more creative expression of the famous Christian cliche "It's not a religion, it's a relationship."

These Christian cliche is unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. What does it mean that Christianity isn't a religion? By every dictionary definition Christianity is absolutely a religion - it has a set of beliefs about God, a belief in the supernatural, an institutionalized system of religious beliefs, etc. Maybe it means that Christianity doesn't have rules and laws like the other religions do? But then why is it a sin to lie or to commit adultery or to kill people? Aren't those rules that hold people down? Every which way you look at it, Christianity IS a religion.

But of course I know the good intentions behind the video and the cliche - Christianity isn't just about rules but it's about a relationship with Jesus. Now I agree with this totally and completely, but we need to think seriously about how people who aren't gospel-saavy will hear and understand "It's not a religion, but a relationship."

To the skeptic, it's nonsensical.

"How stupid must Christians be to try and convince anyone that their religion isn't a religion? This just smells like a wolf trying to put on sheep's clothing. How can Christians say that Christianity isn't a religion if they have a ginormous multi-billion industry called the Catholic Church, historical atrocities like the Crusades, rules that tell people that they can't be gay or lesbian, pastors that try to lead the sheeple in the direction that they want, and followers that try to push their ideas on other people? This whole "it's not a religion, but a relationship" business is just another of the ploys of Christians to try and dress up their silly little religion to make it more appealing and to try and shed the injustices and the oppression caused by Christians over the centuries."

To the agnostic, it's misleading.

"Wait so are you telling me that Christianity isn't a religion but is just a relationship with Jesus? That's great! I'm tired of religions trying to push their rules on me and keep me from having fun and enjoying myself! I'm so glad that Christianity isn't about rules! So if I was to accept the love of Jesus and a relationship with Jesus that you are talking about, this means that I don't need to go to church on Sundays right? ...Wait what? I thought Christianity wasn't about rules, but I guess going to church isn't too bad...Can I still keep sleeping with my girlfriend at least? No?! Why not?! I thought Christianity wasn't about the rules that are meant to hold people down..."

To the Christian, it's a source of arrogance.

"I'm a Christian and I don't believe in religion. Unlike people of other faiths, I don't do things because I have to, but because I want to. I understand what it means to have genuine faith unlike the Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and all of all of those other people that don't understand what it means to have a genuine faith. I bet they've all been forced to go to synagogue and mosque as kids. I bet their parents forced their religion on them. Not for me! I chose to go to church as a child. I chose to believe in Jesus on my own accord. I'm not even like those other Christians that don't love Jesus as much as I do. I know the church isn't perfect, but it's not because of me! If I was there during the Crusades, I would have spoken up and kept people from doing that horrible stuff! I was there during the civil rights movement, I would have been one of the first people to support MLK! I don't understand why all of those other Christians failed to do the obviously Christian thing to do like I would have. All the other people in the church that are ruining the church should stop being greedy and hateful and need to just love people. Unlike all the other 'religious' people I know, I'm not a hypocrite!!"


Now I know I may have exaggerated a little bit, but the problems we face when advertising Christianity not as a religion but only a relationship are obvious. In the end, we need to do as the guy in the video says to do (and what the Bible says to do) and to "boast in our weakness" and instead of distancing ourselves from the brokenness of the church, take ownership of the church's flaws and to use it to point people to Jesus. Instead of denying that Christianity has rules and regulations that people don't like, showing that those rules, kept by Christ's power, bring life to the full. Instead of pointing fingers to tear apart the body, we need to "encourage one another and build one another up."

Wake up, Christians! Your words matter! Christianity is a religion, and despite the flaws in its followers and in the church, it is the only true religion! But Christianity is still a religion...

Matthew 5:17 - "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."

James 1:27 - "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows and their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Hard Work Pays Off

1 Timothy 4:8 - "Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."

This last semester, I've lost almost 25 pounds! Allow me to show off a little bit. I weigh myself every time I go to the CCRB and I record it when I get home, so here's a graph of my weight this last year.

It all started a few months ago when Renjay and I decided to get up and to run and work out together, and we got up nearly every morning at around 9 to exercise. The first two weeks we ran, I lost around ten pounds, and keeping up the exercising, God's graciously "taketh away" what he had previously given to me (LOTS OF FAT). Not only have I lost weight, God's been working in my life through different spiritual disciplines that He's helped me keep recently.
Last year I started living a significantly more spiritually disciplined life, and this semester God continued to work through these spiritual disciplines to continue to transform my life. The Bible (Paul, especially) parallels life with running a race, and there are numerous little lessons and anecdotes that I've learned from exercising this semester, but there are two lessons about spiritual disciplines that I've gained that I want to focus on.

Running is hard, and when I run, especially when keeping a good pace, I find myself having to battle the urge to stop and to take a break. I need to repeat to myself "I can do it, I can do it" to battle the "I can't do it, I can't do it" that my body wants me to hear. A lot of running is mental, so running is often about putting your mind over your body and just taking steps when your body doesn't want to anymore. Running often hurts, but afterwards, I usually think one of the two following thoughts: I either think "Wow, that run wasn't actually not too bad..." or "Man, I'm hurting right now, but it was a great workout, so the pain was worth it."

1) The pain isn't actually as bad as I thought it was.

Sometimes after running, I finish feeling pretty good. I may be breathing heavily and sweating profusely, but I may feel great despite really needing to mentally struggle through much of the run to convince myself to keep going. I realize that the pain I felt when running really wasn't that bad, and that I just needed to put mind over body and just run. Similarly, I really believe that after keeping a spiritual discipline for a long time, we will look back and realize how small the sacrifice we made is, even if it felt really big and hard at the time. Actually living a disciplined life has given me a little more perspective on life, recognizing the minuteness of the sacrifices I make to keep the spiritual disciplines. For example, it may hurt a little bit now to commit to sleeping early and getting up earlier than we needed to do quiet times, but in the long run, it really is quite a small sacrifice. I think that part of the purpose of keeping these spiritual disciplines is to prepare us for when God calls us to something bigger and even more challenging. If we can't honor God by obeying him in the small, how can we expect to be obey him in the big?

Luke 16:10 - "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much."

Another way to think about it is that as we mature, many of the problems and challenges we face in the past all of a sudden seem so trivial. You know how you look back to your middle and high school years and remember the "big" struggles and hardships that you went through and you realize how silly it all was? Similarly, I'm at the point where I look back at when I struggled a lot with keeping quiet times and reading Scripture and I don't understand why I had such a difficult time just opening my Bible every day. I hope that someday I'll be able to look back and wonder about the days (which would be now) when I wasn't able to sit down an intercede for and hour straight or fast for an entire day.

2) The reward is worth the pain.

Often times, trials that we face and pain that we suffer is very real and can't be downplayed as some other spiritual disciplines, but we know that God always works all things for the good of those who love him and there is something that God wants to accomplish in our lives, whether in this life or for eternity.

Sometimes, we can see the fruit of our suffering in the present life. We often see that from self-discipline and God-discipline, the fruit of greater Christ-likeness in holiness, perseverance, and righteousness begin to be more evident. We see transformation all the way from the inner depths of our heart to the outward behavior we display.

James 1:2-4 - "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Hebrews 12:11 - "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

The suffering we go through is also preparing us for eternity, as we begin to develop now what we are going to experience forever. In much of our discipline and suffering, we are storing up for ourselves treasures in heaven, and even though I'm not sure what exactly that looks like, the Bible says that God will reward each according to what he has done. Also, because of the glory and the greatness of what we will experience in eternity with Jesus, all that we experience now, both the joy and the pain - will pale, comparison to the eternal life that is ahead of us. This hope for the future is what kept Paul going, despite being flogged, stoned, and almost killed multiple times.

2 Corinthians 4:17 - "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison."

Not only that, this hope for the future is also what kept Jesus going! Jesus looked to the future, to "the joy set before him", so that he was able to endure the cross for us. The joy that Jesus looked forward to is the same joy that we can look forward to - a life where God's people are again in perfect relationship with God!

Hebrews 12:2 - "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Life is hard. Life hurts sometimes. But one day, because we know Jesus, we're going to be able to look back at all the pain and the suffering and the hurt that we've gone through and say the same things I said after running. For some disciplines and sacrifices in life we can say that the pain wasn't as bad as previously imagined, and for other suffering and trials, we can see that the reward of "an eternal weight of glory" is worth it all. Let us remember the reward that we have in Christ!

Glorifying God Through Basketball

We know that the ultimate purpose of our lives is to glorify God in all that we do. As the first Westminster Catechism famously puts it, "the chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." As creation, we are created to and commanded to glorify God in all things.

1 Corinthians 10:31 - "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

Despite knowing that we are called to glorify God in all things, there are always areas in our lives that we try to keep for our own glory, refusing to lift them up to God for His glory. There are other areas in where the application of 1 Corinthians 10:31 isn't immediately obvious, but I think that it is our duty to think about how we can glorify God in all things and to consciously dedicate all aspects of our lives to him.

How can God be glorified in how I play basketball? I've been spending a lot of time in the gym this year, and I want to make sure that God is glorified in the many hours a week I am in the gym.

1) Play with all of my heart and never take a play off.

Colossians 3:23,24 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

God calls us to do everything in life for the glory of God, not for men. I am to strive to be all that God created to be. I shouldn't be lazy, slothful, or apathetic about the things I do in life, be it ministry, studies, or even basketball. There is tremendous freedom in knowing that when I play any sport, it's to the glory of God, that I don't play hard because I have something to prove or need to impress anyone, but because I want to use all of the gifts that God has given me to work up to my full potential.

2) Be a good teammate by encouraging my teammates.

Recently, my basketball confidence has been at an all-time low. Even though I shoot decently well in practice, nothing seems to go in during games, and I've also recently struggled a lot with turning the ball over. Because I usually go play basketball at around 10PM whichever day I decide to go play, I tend to play with the same group of guys. Some of these guys have been extremely encouraging to me and have been those great teammates to me, really showing love and grace to me, especially when I screw up. Not all of these guys are Christian, but it doesn't change the fact that they have modeled Christ's love to me in specific ways. If I ever was to really play basketball with Jesus (how sweet would that be?!), I don't doubt he would encourage and uplift the way that these guys in the gym have to me. In the same way, I need to imitate Christ in all things, extending the same grace to other players when they make knuckle-headed decisions or when they miss open jumpers.

3) Changing my style of play to foster a positive game environment (i.e. not being a dirty player)

Almost everyone who plays basketball with me knows that I'm kind of a dirty player. I foul a lot and use some cheap tricks to make up for my lack in size and skill. I do a lot of annoying little things that are border-line fouls that most people wouldn't call but can really impact a player's game (like "lightly touching" a player's stomach after taking a jumper and "lightly nudging" a player enough so that he goes out of bounds). Much of the way I play is an attempt to get a mental edge over my opponent. As most of you know, sports is enormously mental, and if I can get my opponent agitated, annoyed, or angry, I've won half of the battle. Players in a poor mental state make overly emotional decisions, taking bad shots (and missing good shots) or playing overly aggressive, making my job as a defender so much easier.

Unfortunately, I don't think Jesus is glorified by me being a dirty player. By no means does that mean I need to play soft or play any less aggressive, but I don't think it is God-glorifying for me to intentionally try to agitate the players I play against. Also, I really shouldn't foul players just because I know I can get away with it. Instead, I should be a person that people enjoy playing both for and against. I need to be a peacemaker, not a conflict-instigator.

Praise God for inventing sports for us to play! Let's enjoy his gift of sports and glorify him with it!

Joe Paterno and the Depravity of Man

Romans 3:9

"None is righteous, no, not one"

I grew up admiring Joe Paterno as the greatest college football coach in history (for those who don't know, my dad is a Penn State fan and indoctrinated me with a love for JoePa at an early age). He was one of my idols, a hero that I could strive to imitate. In my mind, Joe Paterno has always been the closest to faultless as any man could ever be. He is a self-made man of self-determination and self-discipline. He is a man of the highest values and the most impeccable character. If you looked up "old-man-of-upstanding-character" in the dictionary, you would find a picture of JoePa:

How could he have let this happen?! How could he turn a blind eye to the despicable act of child molestation? How could he have allowed a man who he know to be a child molester to coach on his team? Never in a million years did I think that JoePa would go down the way he is for the reason he is. Even now, I'm still partially in denial, as I'm having a very difficult time accepting that JoePa would have let something so horrible happen without a confrontation or dismissal of Sandusky. I almost feel betrayed.

That said, I really need to stop being surprised every time the depravity of man becomes apparent. We put our faith in the righteousness of man, even though we all know that such a faith will only let us down, and then feel sad and betrayed when they don't live up to the high expectation we set for them. We all expect JoePa and all of our leaders to be perfect and flawless, forgetting humanity's enslavement to sin. This horrible situation is a reminder to me of the reality of sin and brokenness of the world that we live in. The moment I think that sin is completely defeated in my life (the sin of pride, ironically) is the moment that sin decides to rear its ugly head - "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." Not only do we have to deal with our own sin, we also have to deal appropriately with the sin and brokenness of others. This is actually where Paterno failed and is paying dearly for it.

From the Boondock Saints:

"And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men."

In all of history, there has only been one man to have lived without sin, and it is in him that we need to place our faith and hope. In no one else can we expect perfection or holiness, as there is no one else in the world, not even the most self-disciplined man of character like JoePa, that is unaffected by sin. It sounds silly, but sometimes I had forgotten that Joe Paterno isn't holy and perfect like Jesus. However, JoePa needs Jesus, and if JoePa needs Jesus, how much more do I need Jesus!

It is a sad, sad day for college football.

Lessons from a Memorial Service

A few Saturdays ago, Iris and I went to our family friends' memorial service. Grandpa Huang, or Huang "Bobo", was the grandfather of two of our childhood friends, and our parents wanted Iris and I to go to the memorial service to represent the family. This was the first memorial service I've been to that I can remember post-puberty, and even though I really didn't know the deceased very well personally, I found myself deeply moved throughout the service. God's presence was unmistakably in the chapel of Ann Arbor Christian Church, and He ministered in profound ways all throughout the two hour memorial service. The service itself wasn't really anything special or surprising (at least I don't think so...I really can't remember). We started with a time of silent reflection and prayer, followed by worship songs, a message by the pastor, a couple of eulogies, final respects to the deceased and the family, and finally a couple more worship songs to close the service. The following are some of the things that God showed me anew during the service.

The Centrality of Worship

One of the things that surprised me the most about the service was the amount of singing that happened. The congregation sang a few songs corporately, but the Evergreen Fellowship (the older folk) and the grandchildren of the deceased also sang worship songs during the service. These songs were all worship songs, praising God and worshiping Him for he is. In other words, the songs were all directed at God, not the deceased! This was one of the many signs that while the service was intended to remember and honor Grandpa Huang, the real focus of the entire service was to glorify God and to thank Him for the blessings which he bestowed upon Grandpa Huang and his family. It's hard to explain how special it was seeing everyone praise God and thank him in spite of the obvious pain they were experience. How strange must it be that Christians can sing "How Great Thou Art" and "Amazing Grace" in such difficult times of sorrow and suffering! The entire service embodied the message the Diane Telian gave last Friday at large group about how we need to worship God at all times in all circumstances.

The Power of the Word

On a more personal note, I understood a little more deeply the power of God's Word, and how it really is "living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit". I'm not much of a crier, and given that I'm not a very empathetic person by nature and I wasn't close to the deceased, there wasn't much in the service that really made me even want to cry...except for the Scripture read. It really was the weirdest thing - basically every time I heard Scripture read, quoted, or sung, I felt the tug inside my heart and quite often had my eyes well up. This is one of the few times that I've really felt the Word of God really pierce my heart. I originally wasn't sure if bringing a Bible was common protocol in memorial services, but I was glad I brought it, as I felt God drawing me to the Word multiple times through the service. Scripture came alive to me, filling me as God drew my from passage to passage, speaking to me in new and unexpected ways. Praise God for the living, active, and sharp Word of God has the ability to penetrate even the coldest, most unsympathetic, most callous, most prideful, and most emotionless of hearts as mine.

Our Hope in Christ

All the worship that took place was enabled by a deep belief in God's salvation from death and in the reality of the coming kingdom that God is bringing. There was an apparent underlying confidence that not only was Huang Bobo with God, that we would all see him again face to face. There was a very strange mix of sorrow and joy in the room. As Christians, we always talk about how important it is to look to the future and the coming kingdom and to keep our eyes on the prize, but it wasn't until this memorial service that I experienced the actual necessity of focusing on the coming kingdom. Without knowing in my head and believing in my heart that there is indeed infinitely rich, joyful, rich, and everlasting life after death, I don't know if I would have been able to make it through the service.

All this looking forward is of course preceded by the looking back towards the amazing victory Christ won on the cross. Without Christ's sacrifice for us, there would be no forgiveness of sins or everlasting life. I experienced that deep, true, genuine gratitude for Christ's sacrifice and salvation for the first time in a while. In a sense, we often lose sight of the greatness of God's promise in the little frustrations of life.

Below are some of the familiar passages that moved me in new ways at the memorial service:

Isaiah 25:8 -
"He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken." 

1 Corinthians 15:54-57 -
"When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

The Urgency of the Mission

As mentioned before, the memorial service was a strange combination of sorrow and joy because of the hope of eternal life for Grandpa Huang. But what if he didn't know God? What if he hadn't accepted Christ to be his lord and savior? Hell is real, and I can't imagine the depth of sorrow that I would experience if I was at a memorial service and the deceased didn't know Christ. Would there be any hope? Wouldn't it be futile to talk about the good deeds of the deceased if we know that he never received the righteousness of Christ? What if it was the guy that I sat next to in class every day but never took the time to get to know? What if it was the girl that came to our small groups and large groups every week but never committed her life to Christ, and I never took the time to actually share the gospel with her? It wasn't until I came face to face with the reality of physical death that I remembered the consequences of eternal death. We lively young people often forget the reality of death, and in forgetting the reality of death, we forget the urgency of the mission.

The memorial service was a big wake-up call for me. We are called to be God's ambassadors into the world, to be those that God uses to bring life to those whom God has chosen. The world is radically broken, and God has chosen us to bring healing to all the ends of the earth. I need to feel that sense of urgency. I need to have the same passion for the lost as God does. I can't sit around being disobedient to the call of God, feeling entitled to some sort of God's work. I need to obey. I need to have a passion for the lost. I need to feel that anguish that God feels when he sees the brokenness of the world.

Romans 10:14-15 - "How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'"

[Thanks Tiffany Pan for sharing this video earlier this year!]