Today, we had a bunch of first/second-throw turnovers. It's a horrible feeling running out to set up the offense for cuts only to turn around and see the disc dropped right in front of the goal-line. The motivation to run back on defense in these situations is hard to come by. It becomes increasingly difficult to keep churning and fighting at my own role as cutter when we make these crippling mistakes. The mistakes start eating at your brain, and I found myself getting more and more frustrated with my team, which not only made me less and less encouraging, but it also really hurt my energy level out on the field. Conflicting temptations battle withing me - one to quit on the team and give up, and the other to be a hero and overstep my role on the team (even though probably wouldn't do any better).
It really all leaves me in a very weird position. I'm a cutter. That's what I'm best at, and that's what I like playing. Despite the drops, our handlers are still better handlers than me. But a cutter needs someone to throw it to him, and when our handlers aren't playing well (or aren't in the game), it's hard for me to play my role as a cutter without getting disappointed, especially when I run hard and make great cuts but never get the disc. Due to both selfish frustrations and obvious all-around poor performance, I found the trust in my teammates slowly eroding over the span of the game. And this is probably the worst mindset an athlete can succumb to.
When you don't trust your teammates, your head gets way too big and you think you're better than everyone else on the team, and you try to do too much and screw the rest of the team over. You get frustrated and bring your team's morale down with a bad attitude. You lose motivation to play hard because you feel like no matter what you do, it won't make a difference. I need to learn to continue to trust my teammates even when I'm tempted not to and be a positive encouraging force, not a negative one.
Sorry this post was so all over the place and ramble-y. I'm extremely tired, but just decided to share my frustrations with the world. Here's a picture of me looking fabulous playing ultimate.
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| Don't I look FABULOUS? |
Imagine if you can't trust the people you're deployed with!
ReplyDeleteKnow exactly how that feels. Inherently, the game of ultimate has more pressure on the handlers (more skill for handlers). It's a little more both ways in soccer. If you're a defender and you clear the ball only to have it come right back to you, that's not very good. Likewise, defenders get blamed for losses more simply because it's more of a direct cause for letting goals in.
ReplyDeleteNo sweat man...trust is an extension over time, it's not about about the one time. Took me four years to feel the trust from my teammates in track. It's built, not fueled instantly like microwaves does to food (just made that up randomly...). Hopefully you guys get it down soon through practice and more games :)