The Fable of the Flyers

[Disclaimer: This account is not intended to replace Scripture and does not even intend to convey the same meaning as Scripture. This story is a mere interesting thought that I had in my head as I handed out quarter-sheets before Bubble Tea Bash. I hope no one finds this offensive towards Scripture.]

"That day at 3:00, Caleb went out of his shady apartment and stood beside the Chem Atrium. And great crowds of people walked all around him, so that he decided it would be a good place to position himself to hand out flyers. After handing out flyers for over two hours, he thought up the following fable, which he cleverly named The Fable of the Flyers." 

The Fable of the Flyers

"An AIV member went out to hand out flyers to tell people the good news that there was going to be free Bubble Tea inside the Chemistry Building at 5:00. As he handed out the flyers, some people immediately crumbled up the flyers in their hands. Other people took the flyers, walked inside the building, and walked back out after seeing the long line. Still other people were excited to go, but after discovering the event started at 5:00, eventually decided not to go because they were busy. Other people took the flyers with excitement, convinced their friends to go, and enjoyed free bubble tea. He who has a mouth, let him drink bubble tea." 

The Fable of the Flyers Explained

"Hear then the fable of the flyers. When anyone hears the awesome, great, Gospel news and immediately disregards it, the evil one has come and crumbled up the flier given to him. These are the flyers that were never even looked at. As for the people who took the flier but left immediately after seeing the long line, this is the one who receives the Gospel and immediately receives it with joy, yet when inconvenience, discomfort, tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, he immediately falls away. As for the flyers to people who decided eventually not to come, this is the one who hears the Gospel, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness and attractiveness of distractions choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. As for the flier that caused a person to come enjoy free refreshing bubble tea, this is the one who hears the Gospel and understands it. He indeed brings free bubble tea to many others, in one case 100 friends, in another 60, and in another 30."

Some additional random observations from flyering:

Most likely to accept a flyer: International Asian girls
Least likely to accept a flyer: Anyone who seems to be on a Umich athletic squad, non-freshmen (old people).
Displays the most excitement when accepting a flyer: White girls
Most polite when declining a flyer: White girls in groups, white guys (especially frat boys)
Least polite in declining a flyer: White girls traveling alone