Loneliness and Christ

As I was driving back to Fort Wayne from Northville, where Jonny, Johnny, Nathan, Cory, and I had lunch, I was hit by this huge wave of loneliness and sadness. It's been over a month since I last visited my AIV friends in Ann Arbor, and I've gotten kind of used to the quiet, solitary working life in Fort Wayne. I didn't realize how much I missed late night talks, impromptu prayer sessions, hugging it out with brothers, and having fun, silly conversations with people. Not only did I really get that awesome, familiar sense of community in my short time in Ann Arbor these last few days, my heart was also riled up to God's mission, as the excitement, passion, and burden for the Church and the lost came flooding back to me as I participated in AIV events and talked about the chapter with friends.

The thing is, I haven't really been feeling too lonely in my last few weeks at Fort Wayne. So why was I feeling it so strongly all of a sudden? This is what I realized - Loneliness is most keenly felt after leaving intimate fellowship and community of any kind. I think anyone who has gone through any kind of break up or has left a great, tight community (especially of believers) knows that deep sense of loneliness that I'm talking about - and the closer and more intimate the community or relationship, the deeper the sense of loneliness.

After thinking about it for a little bit, it hit me that in his incarnation and eventual taking on of our sins, Jesus voluntarily chose to leave the intimate community and fellowship of the Trinity and take on humanity. I'm no real expert on all this Trinitarian theology stuff, but from what I know, the community and the fellowship between Christ and the other two members of the Trinity wasn't as infinitely intimate and infinitely perfect while Christ was on earth as it was before the incarnation. Not only that, when we talk about and imagine the suffering of Jesus on the cross, we almost always think about the physical suffering that Jesus experienced, not really being able to describe the spiritual suffering of Christ. In that passion accounts in the gospel, outside of Jesus saying he was thirsty while on the cross, the writers never record Jesus complaining about any of the physical suffering that he endured. Rather, the only cry of pain that Jesus makes is recorded in Matthew 27:46 - "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?' that is, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'" The overwhelming pain of loneliness that Jesus experienced as he took on the sins of the world, when the infinitely intimate fellowship of the Trinity was broken, is absolutely unfathomable for us mortals. As I mentioned before, the intensity of the pain of loneliness and broken relationship is magnified by the intimacy of the fellowship in the relationship, which means that the  infinitely eternal, intimate, and perfect fellowship of the Trinity points to an infinitely painful separation and break of fellowship. For any of you that could relate to that pain I mentioned earlier (either through a breakup or a move of some sort), Jesus experienced that pain times infinity - suffering that we cannot even begin to understand.

Jesus knows what it feels like to be lonely, and he endured all that suffering so that I can come in relationship with Him. And I'm grateful for that.

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

- Hebrews 4:14-16

 Related Post - New Insights into Suffering

Some Interesting Dreams

Recently, I've been having some especially vivid dreams, of which I've been trying to keep notes of. These dreams have been so vivid that I've often spent my mornings thinking and reflecting on the dreams. There isn't really a "point" to this post, but I just thought that the dreams were pretty interesting and worth sharing. In this post, I describe four dreams that I've had, and after each dream, I add a short blurb on the emotion I was feeling as the dream ended (which I'm sure you can relate to when you have a really vivid dream that just ends) along with a short analysis of the dream.

I guess I should also say that while I do believe that God speaks to us in many different ways, I don't believe any of these dreams to be prophetic in any way. Another disclaimer - the dreams may not make a lot of sense and it may seem like I'm jumping around a lot, but that's kind of the way dreams are! I've tried to make them flow as well as possible, but dreams are dreams - the settings and details are constantly changing and they don't quite make sense.

Forgiveness for a Pedophile in a Wheelchair

I was reading a newspaper about this pedophile, a child-snatcher that would kidnap other people's kids and do bad things to them. His photo was in the paper, and it was common knowledge that this guy is the scum of the earth.

I am in church, and I see this guy in a wheelchair. I walk up to him, and I recognize his face. Holy crap. He's that guy from the paper! He explains to me how sorry he is and how all that stuff he did was in the past, and he wanted to learn how to be forgiven. He is clearly a broken man. I explain to him that because I'm at church, there's a lot of "better" people he could talk to. Lloyd appears, and I think it's perfect because he can probably relate to the wheelchair, but Lloyd just disappears all of a sudden as we're approaching him (as people do in dreams). I then go find an IV staff worker I know whom I regard highly. The man in the wheelchair follows me, using his arms to push the wheelchair (as a normal person in a wheelchair would do. I don't know how else to describe it). I tell her that this man in the wheelchair is that child-snatcher and that he wanted to find out about forgiveness and I asked her to tell him about Jesus. She refuses, saying that she doesn't want to talk to someone like him, and she starts to bolt. I follow her, begging her to talk to him, but she says that she needs to go to the beach, and putting on her sunglasses and grabbing a beach ball, she gets in her SUV and drives away. I'm left standing in the parking watching her drive away. I decide to go talk to the pastor, who is John Piper. I walk to John Piper with the man wheeling in behind me, and ask John Piper to explain to the man the gospel and forgiveness, and John Piper refuses. He says that people like this man don't deserve forgiveness for the horrible things he has done. I argue with him because I know he knows the gospel and that he was treating the gospel with contempt. He walks away. I have no one left to ask.

Ending emotion
Totally, completely disappointed and directionless. I had thought that this staff worker, who I had known to be super loving, and John Piper, who supposedly has a deep understanding of the gospel, would be able to lovingly forgive this man and point him to Jesus. But everyone refused.

Brief analysis
The whole moral of the story is quite obvious. It's that even the best human beings, the best Christians in the world have trouble forgiving the wickedness of an individual, so Jesus is the only one we can approach for forgiveness. Random sidenote: after writing this, I realize how close this story is to the story of the Good Samaritan.

Unfortunate Car Accident

My dad is driving my family in my car, and it is snowing. I had argued with him that it's my car, so I should drive, but he's driving anyways. We are on some sort of curvy road, when all of a sudden we lose control of the car, blast through the guardrail, and end up in a snow bank. The car is damaged, but everyone is okay. The police arrive and say that the penalty of reckless driving is a jail sentence, and before asking any more questions, I'm hauled off and thrown in jail.

Ending emotion
A huge sense of injustice. It isn't fair that I get thrown into jail for my dad's mistake. Not only that, it was my car, the car that I'm paying for, that he's destroyed, and I still get punished for it.

Brief Analysis
The lesson here again is obvious. Jesus suffered the ultimate injustice for me. He didn't screw up the perfect creation of God, so he didn't deserve to be nailed on that cross, but he was anyways. That deep sense of injustice that I felt gave me a better understanding of the sacrifice of Christ for me.

Awkward DPM

I'm walking in a street with some of my AIV friends (don't really remember who, but at the moment I think one of them was Besha), when I get a call. It's my friend (we'll call her Emily), and she's speaking to me in Mandarin. She informs me that something came up, and she can't go to the Daily Prayer Meeting (DPM) that she normally goes to, but she doesn't want the leader (we'll call her Sheila) to feel bad about not having anyone at DPM, so she tells me to go. I told her that I didn't really want to go, but after a little prodding, I agree to go. We hang up (the entire conversation was in Mandarin, by the way). She texts me the address of the DPM, and I walk there with my friends. Her apartment was in an interesting location. We knock on the door, and the door opens. I say "Sheila! I haven't seen you in forever!!". She awkwardly informs me that she's actually Sheila's sister (even though she looks exactly like her), and that she is taking off, but Sheila was in the shower and would be out in one sec, and she leaves.

As a little background, this "Sheila" individual is a fringe member of AIV, one of those people that I'm not sure if she's really saved or not. Anyways, I was excited that she would be leading a prayer meeting, so with my friends, we wait in the living room for her to finish her shower. It was a really nice apartment - really bright with nice carpeting and nice couches. We wait a little bit, then get bored and decide to play some games while waiting for her. We hear some strange noises coming from the shower. Then I remember that she has a boyfriend. Could they really be...? ...in the shower? Right before the DPM that she's supposed to be leading? We sit there and look at each other awkwardly, as each of us knows what's going on. She comes out, hair wet and all, and greets us. I give her a hug to say hi, but I'm not sure what to say or how to act. Her boyfriend walks out a few seconds later. It was awkward.

Ending emotion
Awkwardness, disappointment, and not knowing what to do.

Brief Analysis
There really isn't any deep gospel realization in this dream as there had been in the previous two, but I found it very interesting that I dreamed partially in Mandarin again (I do it every so often). It wasn't until I was eating breakfast that it hit me - in real life Emily is Canto and can't speak Mandarin! It was one of those facepalm moments where I felt like my entire dream was just foolishness. Nonetheless, I think this dream reflects the fear that I have (and that I've shared with some of you) that some/many of the leaders in AIV now may not actually be saved and are living a lie. I also think it's very interesting that this dream features two current non-Christians, but in my dream, one is a real Christian and one is a fake one. This dream really reflects the thinking I've done recently on assurance of salvation and how even those who serve God may be rejected by Jesus, who will tell them "I never knew you."

Seeking Reconciliation

We were in a Bible class in a big lecture hall, and the professor was talking about human rights and America. My friend (an old friend of mine) raises her hand and says, "I wish America would just have something like a French Revolution, where everyone was equal and we had no president or king or whatever." I then proceed to look at her kind of stupid and basically start ranting at her in front of everyone. "Are you an idiot? Do you have no idea of what a French Revolution would mean? And it's completely unbiblical! Do you not realize that the Biblical model is that Jesus is the king and that there will always be hierarchy? Jesus will be our king for eternity in the new kingdom! Trying to get rid of hierarchy is totally foolish!"

She looks at me kind of stunned and just looks down and goes back to writing in her notebook. The guy that I am, I keep on thinking in my head, Wow. Why would she suggest something so stupid? Then she passes me a note from across the table (yes, we are now no longer in a lecture hall but sitting across from each other at a table). The note on the table says, "I may have been wrong, but you didn't need to be such a jerk about it." Staring at the note, I all of a sudden realize the wrong that I did her. I feel horrible. But I'm not sure what to say. I close my eyes for a bit. And I write a note back, apologizing for it. We exchange a few notes, and after a little bit, things seem to be okay between us.

We are catching up, and she tells me that she just broke up with her boyfriend and that she's single for the first time in a long time. I think to myself, Could I be with her? But she's backslidden, and I don't actually really know if she's a Christian or not.

We are at an aquarium, in one of those basement-type rooms where it's relatively dark, with one of the sides of the room being completely water. It's like one of those underwater views of the pools at places like Sea World, where you can view the animals from either above water or underwater (we are at the underwater one, obviously). She's still mad at me for what I did to her. I try and ask her how she's been spiritually and try to share the gospel with her again. But she's still mad at me. We're about to get to the moment of both reconciliation (and possibly romance?) between the two of us and also really sharing the gospel with her, but as that happens, a bunch of elephants swim in, with their trunks above the water line so they can breath. As this happens, a lot of people rush in, and our conversation, which had been deep and serious, is cut off. We both stare at the elephants for a little bit as they play underwater, and then I turn back, and she's not there. I see her far away, and I chase after her to finish our conversation, but I never catch up with her.

Ending emotion
Loneliness. Lack of closure. Sadness.

Analysis 
There isn't really much intellectual analysis for this dream, but I just woke up with a real sense of burden to catch up to and pray for this old friend of mine who I haven't talked to in forever and really haven't even thought about for years. I think that I dreamed about her because back in the day, when I really didn't have any really close friends, I think she was the first really, really close friend that I had. In my current situation without really any close friends here in Fort Wayne, I probably remembered her in my loneliness. Also, she showed up on my Facebook feed the previous day (and the elephants are from this video).

Closing thoughts

I hadn't realized that all of these dreams ended sadly, because normally my dreams never end sad. I tend to win in everything. I always get the girl, make the last shot, and destroy the enemies. I'm not going to read too much into it, but I find it interesting that even though the dreams seem to end sadly, I actually tend to have quite joyful mornings after having these vivid dreams, as I'm just excited that I got a good night of sleep and have something to think about for the morning. It's really been a blessing that God's been able to teach me various lessons through these dreams. It's amazing how God can glorify Himself in my life even when I'm asleep!

As an aside, I actually had another dream this morning that was pretty cool but unfortunately, I can't remember it at all and I didn't write it down. Hopefully I can remember it and post it up later. I also have this weird irrational fear that because I'm posting this, my awesome dreams will stop. I have no idea why I feel this way. I guess it's kind of like how if you tell your birthday wish to anyone, it won't come true. Whatever. I'm off to sleep again. And hopefully dream. Goodnight.

"My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, 

and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips, 

when I remember you upon my bed, 

and meditate on you in the watches of the night; 

for you have been my help, 

and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. 

My soul clings to you;

your right hand upholds me."

- Psalm 63:5-8

Church Hopping Week 5 - Northpark Community Church

This post is about Northpark Community Church, which I visited on February 26th. This church was recommended to me by a couple that used to attend there and

In A Nutshell: A medium-sized non-denominational family church with really good preaching.

Church Overview

Affiliation - None
Attendance - 300 people, but expected to grow
Demographics - Mostly white, multi-generational with a lot of families and kids.

Adult Bible Fellowship (Sunday School)

Walking into the church and asking someone about what Sunday School offerings they had, I was basically just told to go to one because the other ones didn't really fit. It wasn't before long that I realized that all of the Sunday School classes are split up based on age group, which is something that I haven't really expected or experienced before. I attended the "College and Career" group, which is basically for young, unmarried people that either just started working or were still in college. Doing some other research online, it seems like this kind of Sunday School model is actually common to the non-denominational churches in the area. I'm not really sure if I like it, as I find that it would probably be harder to meet and get to know the adults in the church, but it was nice to be able to meet some of the other young people. Other than me, there were four other young adults (three girls and one guy), and a middle-aged couple who led the class. The class was supposed to be studying Philippians, but we actually spent most of the time just talking about the church and its mission because I had asked about it (and because the teacher thought it would be a good idea to refresh everyone's memory on it). When we finally got to the Bible study, it wasn't much of a study - we just read the passage, and the teacher spent around 10 minutes talking about it and gave us some application, and we closed in prayer. I'm not sure if the lack of discussion was because of the amount of time we spent talking about the church or if it was the usual for the class, but I'll just need to go back and see.

Sunday Service

According to the young adults I sat with, this Sunday Service was completely unique and not how they normally did things. It was a communion service (they do their communions on the last Sunday of every month), so things were bound to be a little different. The sanctuary itself was undergoing renovation and expansion that should be completed in the next month, expanding the sanctuary from a capacity of around 300 people to one of around 600 people. Because of this, the sanctuary smelled a little like Home Depot, and didn't have much of the simple decoration that I've become accustomed to in even a Protestant church.

Probably my favorite bulletin cover so far

The Worship

The worship experience this Sunday was insane. It was new and traditional and awesome and unfamiliar all in one. What the worship pastor basically did this Sunday was he used the different elements of traditional worship services such as Scripture readings (both old and new testaments), responsive readings, and hymns to tell the story of the life of Christ. Starting with the birth of Christ, we listened to, read, and sang about Jesus' life, teaching, ministry, crucifixion and death, and resurrection. The songs that were sung were all hymns and very traditional but were for the most part familiar hymns. The worship style, which was never done before according to the people I was sitting with, was absolutely unique and amazing. I don't know if I would be able to take it if we did it every week, but I really enjoyed it this one time that we did it this way.

The Sermon

The sermon, which you can listen to here, wasn't the usual style because it was communion, so it was much more brief than it normally would have been (or so I'm told). I had previously listened to one of their sermons online and was impressed with the depth and seriousness of the preacher, which is something that I've been longing for here in Fort Wayne. Pastor Scott, the preaching (and lead) pastor of the church is easily the best preacher that I've personally seen so far, both in skill and in depth. At first, I was sort of disappointed that Pastor Scott wasn't going to give a more traditional kind of sermon, but the talk he gave was actually quite good. He spoke on the word "good", and gave a somewhat more application-level (but Scripture-drenched) sermon. He then did this awesome, one-time, unique thing that he had never done before - he had the entire congregation stand up and read a passage of Scripture in their own translations. This meant that there were ESV's, NIV's, KJV's, and whatever other translations being read together. It was this perfect unity of harmony and diversity. It was awesome to hear sections as we read aloud that diverted in translations and the parts that were in complete unity. I actually got chills from how awesome it was after we did the reading. Like the worship, this probably isn't something that I would want to do every week (and they almost certainly won't), but I really enjoyed the opportunity that I had to participate in these unique worship styles.

Reflection 

What I liked
Preaching - As I mentioned before, the preaching here is definitely a key strength of the church, and I probably enjoyed the preaching here more than any other church I visited. Pastor Scott definitely knows what he's talking about, and he wraps it all in a gospel-centered message devoid of much of the moralism that has so infected many of our churches today.

Young Adults- While there really isn't a huge group of young adults at this church, there's definitely more young adults than in any other church I visited. The college and career group seems to have a lot of committed members so there seems to be a potential to serve and to be a part of a good community.

Growing Church - Unlike every other church that I visited, Northpark seemed to be the only church to really be growing. Not only was the sanctuary packed Sunday morning, they are undergoing construction to expand it. Obviously, size often doesn't mean much for judging the quality of a church, but in this case, it is encouraging to see a Bible-preaching church growing.

Close to home - My biggest concern for joining St. Andrew EPC was the distance, but Northpark is actually really close to my apartment, which would make it possible for me to do stuff at the church during the week and it should make serving at the church much easier. In addition, the mission of the church and the ministries and charities that the church partners with
in the area would also be reasonably close to my apartment.

What I didn't like as much
"Adult Bible Fellowship" model- I love meeting young adults, but after thinking about it, I don't know if I like the model of grouping Sunday School classes by age. I find that it would be hard to really get to know the adults of the church. Maybe I've just gotten used to being one of the only young adults and only having adults to talk to in the churches I've visited in Fort Wayne, but I wish I got more of a chance to interact with the adults of the church. I think this sort of model is good for family churches (also like MCCC), where young parents and young married couples could get a chance to hear the advice of those in similar situations. However, I feel like this "life" kind of stuff is best done in cell groups during the week, and for me, Sunday School has always been less application-based but more about teaching Scripture.

Unsure of potential to serve - Being a bigger church with more resources, it seems like Northpark probably has "everything figured out." However, I would still like to be able to contribute to the body if I came here, and I'm not sure how I would be able to do that here. Again, I think that it might just be that I got so used to visiting small churches that were super excited to see me because in all honesty, the situation I would have at Northpark would probably be a similar situation to what I would face if I continued attending either Knox or MCCC. It is definitely good that the church doesn't "need" me (I don't think any church really does, anyways), but I would still like an opportunity to serve.

The Verdict

Northpark Community Church offers what has been weaker in many of the churches that I've visited - a young adult group and great preaching. I'm excited at the possibility of joining in on the church's mission for the community and serving in a growing church community. On the other hand, I didn't really enjoy the Sunday School class very much, which to me is the strength of St. Andrew EPC, so I have a big decision to make! For now, I think I will attend both St. Andrew and Northpark on alternating weeks to get a better feel of the church so I can make a better decision.

Church Hopping Week 1 - Fellowship Community Church
Church Hopping Week 2 - Calvary Baptist Church
Church Hopping Week 3 - Providence Presbyterian Church
Church Hopping Week 4 - St Andrew Evangelical Presbyterian Church

More than Slactivists

Social justice starts with you. Social justice starts with me. It's easy to share a video on Facebook. It's just as easy to throw a Christian fundraiser or awareness event. It's much harder to practice what we preach and to be men and women of justice. It's much harder to care about and confront the poverty, loneliness, cheating, and sexual immorality that we see around us and deal with every day.

If we say we care so much about world poverty and world hunger, why are we so reluctant to give a few dollars to the homeless guy on the street? If we say we care about the widows and orphans of the world, why is it so difficult for us to approach that girl sitting by himself at large group or sit down with that lonely guy in the cafeteria? If we say that we care about the cheated and those we take what isn't theirs, why is it that so many of us "Christians" still cheat on homeworks and projects and tolerate others cheating on exams? Yes, I'm telling you to be a rat. If you see cheating, report it. If you see your friends cheating, confront them about it, and if they don't stop, report it. Do you think the social justice workers that prosecute the oppressed aren't hated and persecuted themselves? If we can't even deal with the trouble of reporting someone for cheating, do we really think that we will be able to report criminals when the consequences are that much more serious? If we say we care about sex trafficking and child prostitution, can we not stop watching porn and contributing to the industry that drives these atrocities? Aren't we, just like those sick people we hear about, imposing our sexual will and fantasies on other children of God, created in His image?

All of these things, God hates. God hates apathy, cheating, lying, stealing, pride, sexual immorality, and he hates it as much inside of our hearts as out in the world. If we leave the sin in our hearts undealt with and claim to care about the apathy, cheating, lying, stealing, oppression, and sexual immorality of the world, are we not being hypocrites of the most epic kind?

But thanks to God, there's hope for hypocrites like you and me, and that hope is in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus was born into a poor, refugee family of an oppressed people that had been ostracized from the community. Jesus was the kind of person that slactivists like us are supposed to get all riled up about - a son in a single-parent home of an oppressed people. But we didn't make an emotionally-manipulative video about him, we didn't send him a shoebox of goodies every Christmas, we didn't send $30 a month to sponsor him. No, we religious folk, we "activists", we giver of alms - we killed him. Friends, apart from the saving grace of God, we have no power to do any good or think any good thoughts, much less make a "positive difference" in the world. We ended up killing the most postive influence the world could possibly imagine! In the end, it is only Jesus that can redeem the world. It is on the cross that God's righteousness, justice, love, and mercy met, and it is only through the cross that we can have any hope for the evil, sickness, and wickedness in the world and the evil, sickness, and wickedness in our hearts.

By the grace of God, we can be more than slactivists who only care about justice when it's convenient and when it feels good. By the grace of God, let's learn to hate sin as God hates sin, and by the power of God, let's be men and women of justice, men and women of integrity.

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"
- Micah 6:8

Boasting in My Weakness

"So to keep my from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep my from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. 

For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I have to admit that I've been slow to show vulnerability and weakness in all my time at Michigan (and my entire life, really). I'm not a very vulnerable person, and not that many people actually know that much about me. Yesterday was a hard day for me. It isn't every Sunday that you break down crying while praying alone in a church pew during worship, only to have a man you half-recognize put his arm around you and tell you to come sit with him. It isn't every Sunday you go up to ask for prayer from elders you don't recognize of a church you've only been to once. God really convicted me this morning during Sunday worship of this 2 Corinthians passage - of boasting in his weakness, and that's what I'm here to do.

I'm a weak, weak man. I really shouldn't even call myself a man. I'm a weak, weak boy. I'm a crybaby. It's often hard for me to pray out loud without choking up in tears for whatever reason. A friend recently told me that she has observed two things about guys - that they are stupid and that they are emotional. I don't really want to endorse this opinion for fear of losing all my guy friends, but I do know that this is true for me. It's so easy to always be stoic and look tough on the outside, but I'm really actually quite emotional. I am weak. I struggle with loneliness. It's hard for me to be alone, without friends to lean on and hang out with all the time, and in truth, it's even hard for me to ask for help. It's also hard for me to accept my singleness, of which I am often ashamed. I cope with loneliness by digging into books and getting a big head, both of knowledge and of pride. I am a needy man.

God has taught me so much in my weakness. I've learned how weak I am. I've learned that I can't rely on myself. I've learned how much I need brothers around me to care and pray for me, and I've learned not to take these brothers in Christ for granted. I've experienced the faithfulness of God through my times of deepest worry, and I've felt the warmth of God's embrace in my tears shed. I've understood more deeply the peace in clinging to God's sovereignty, and I've learned to appreciate how Jesus, my high priest, can sympathize with my weaknesses. God has shown me yet again how sinful and unholy I am, and he's displayed to me the comfort of his grace. And obviously, when I say I've learned these things, I really mean that I've grown in these areas, as I still have an eternity to truly learn it all, but God has really worked in my life through my weaknesses.

I'm not posting this for pity. I'm posting this to boast in my weaknesses in Christ. Don't feel bad for me - rejoice with me that God is making his power known in my life through my weaknesses! Jesus sees through the walls and barriers that I put up. Jesus knows how much of a scumbag I am. Jesus knows that I'm not as tough and emotionless as I pretend to be. Jesus knows how weak I am. And yet he loves me. Jesus loves me even though I'm a crybaby, and he loves me even though I'm weak. Jesus loves me so much that he died for me, even though I suck!

Thank you God for reminding me how much I suck and how weak I am and how much I need you. Use my weakness for your glory, and make me strong in my weakness. Your grace is enough for me.

Somewhat-related Posts: 
New Insights into Suffering
My Lack of Suffering

Acts 8 - The Guidance of the Spirit

This post will be a completion of my previous post on Acts 8:28-40. It would probably be helpful to open it up and read it one time through before reading this post (reading it through won't take more than five minutes, anyways.

"And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah."

Of the many different interesting things about the Ethiopian eunuch, I find it extremely interesting that he was returning from worshiping. This eunuch wasn't a heathen, a pagan, a persecutor of the church, but he was a man who desired to worship the only true God! He wasn't a man who needed to be reminded to go to church on Sunday or to study the Word. God had already placed in his heart a desire to seek Him and to worship Him. And yet he still didn't understand what he read. Many times in our churches and fellowships, we forget that often times, those who are the most lost and are in need of guidance are those who already come to worship! We often assume that just because people come to worship, they know who Jesus is and have a personal relationship with him. This wasn't true for the eunuch, and it certainly isn't true for our churches today, so let's not forget to be reaching out to those already under the roof of the church who may not yet know Jesus.

"And the Spirit said to Philip, 'Go over and join this chariot.' So Philip ran to him..."

This is the first explicit mention of the Spirit that we find in the passage (recall that it was an angel of the Lord that had first told Philip to rise and go). So we can imagine Philip just "chillin" in the desert, walking around, trying to see what God wants him to do, and he sees a chariot and is then prompted by the Spirit to join it. What is Philip's response? Philip runs to the chariot! He doesn't complain, he doesn't ask "God, is this really your will?", he doesn't walk - he runs! We should learn to imitate Philip's eagerness to obey the prompting of the Spirit and run with joy to the tasks that he sets out for us.

[As sort of an aside, I recall from my childhood picture Bibles and Christian videos that supposedly the chariot was actually going full speed and God have Philip the supernatural foot speed (as he had given Elijah) to catch up with a chariot going full speed. I really could be wrong, but this doesn't seem like the most likely scenario to me because of the following verbal exchanges that he has with the eunuch. Philip asks the eunuch if he understands what he's reading, and the eunuch says that he doesn't. It is only after this interaction does the eunuch finally ask Philip to join him in the chariot. To me, it wouldn't really make sense for the eunuch to see a man running full speed next to the chariot without slowing down to converse. But either way, the eagerness of Philip to obey God should be imitated.]

"...and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, 'Do you understand what you are reading?'"

Not only is Philip's eagerness to be imitated, but also his method of evangelism. We see in this simple sentence that Philip did two things - he heard and he asked. In Philip's eagerness to run to the chariot, he didn't get on his metaphorical soapbox and start spewing out the Four Spiritual Laws or the bridge diagram, but he heard the Ethiopian. I am probably the most guilty of speaking before listening, but how much easier it was for Philip to minister to the eunuch because he simply listened! He was able to meet the eunuch in his place of confusion and to address the eunuch's needs instead of imposing his own evangelism strategy on him. Philip listened, and that's something that I need to learn to do. After he listened, Philip asked. Last year, I attended MAC (Ministering Across Cultures) for the second time, and one of my biggest takeaways from the training event is how effective asking questions is to opening a person up and understanding a person. By asking the eunuch a basic question, Philip was allowing the eunuch to express his own thoughts and desires, which in turn made it easier for Philip to minister to him. Many times (for me, at least), our ministry tactic is a "speak and answer questions" sort of approach instead of Philip's "hear and ask" approach. There's definitely a place for both kinds of ministry (can you imagine Pastor Chuck simply "hearing and asking" on stage on Sunday morning? That would be horrible!), but Philip's example is a good reminder for me to be more open to gauging someone else's needs.

"And he said, 'How can I, unless someone guides me?' And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him."

To me, this question that the eunuch asks is the central point of the entire passage. In my previous readings of this passage, I had always thought that the person the eunuch needed was Philip to explain the Scripture to him. While this is true, I think that God is pointing us to something much deeper than that - "the inward illumination of the Spirit of God [is] necessary for the saving understanding of such things as are revealed in the Word. [WCF]" It is the Holy Spirit, not Philip, who is ultimately the guide of the Ethiopian! The easy takeaway from this passage that we've been taught since we were children is that we need to be like Philip and explain the Bible to those who don't understand it. We fail to realize that we ourselves cannot understand the Scripture without the guidance of the Holy Spirit! It is only through God that we ourselves can understand the Word of God and have any hope of explaining it to anyone else!

This post is really sufficiently long, so I'm just going to skip a bit of the passage and get to a few last thoughts I had on the passage.

"Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning with this Scripture he told him the good news about Jesus."

This "opened his mouth" phrase seems to be used only one other time in this book, and that is in Acts 10:34, when Peter is preaching to the centurion's family. To me, it is a reminder that when we speak, we are merely using our mouths as an instrument of God, and it is really the "Spirit of our Father speaking through [us]". I may be imagining things, but I also see somewhat of a parallel between this passage and Luke 24, where Jesus explains to the two clueless fellows how all of Scripture is really about him. Obviously, Luke and Acts are both written by Luke, and it's cool to see how Luke comes back to a man explaining how all of Scripture is about Jesus.

"And when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing."

I'm not sure if you've realized this, but Philip was straight up teleported away. The passage says that "Philip found himself at Azotus." Imagine that. Philip was in the water baptizing the eunuch and an instant later, was in a random town. How strange that must have been! And the eunuch also just got the most awesome baptism in the entire world. Again, this might be over-speculation, but I really think that the eunuch probably got a small feeling of the Spirit of the Lord carrying him out of the water. All of us who've been dunked know that when you're brought down into the water, you need the pastor to bring you back up, because there's really no other way you can get up out of the water from a prostrate position. Now, if Philip was teleported away as they came up out of the water, who would be there to help the eunuch completely up? I very well could be wrong, but to me, the passage seems to imply that the eunuch never saw Philip once he got out of the water, and it isn't a wild possibility to me that it was the Spirit Himself who helped the eunuch onto his feet after the baptism. That would be an awesome baptism - being baptized by God himself! But of course, that's all speculation.

To conclude this post, I really feel like this understanding that the Spirit is the guide is the central theme of the passage. The Spirit is the one who guides Philip to the chariot, the Spirit is the one who gives both Philip and the Ethiopian eunuch understanding of the Scripture, and it is the Spirit who again leads both the eunuch and Philip on their separate paths after their encounter. As Christians, we should allow the Spirit to guide us in all things - be it direction of life or our Scripture readings - and to obey quickly and eagerly when He calls.

Acts 7 - We the Pharisees
Acts 8 - Rise and Go

Church Hopping Week 4 - St. Andrew Evangelical Presbyterian Church

I'm am a little behind on posting, but last Sunday, February 12th, I visited St. Andrew Evangelical Presbyterian Church. As you all know, Knox is part of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church, so I wanted to check out an EPC church before deciding what church to go to. Though half an hour away, St. Andrew is the closest EPC church to where I live.

In A Nutshell: A small, familiar Knox-like church that is kind of far from home.

Church Overview

Affiliation - Evangelical Presbyterian Church (wiki, official site)
Attendance - 75-100 people
Demographics - Completely white, multi-generational with a good number of high-schoolers and male young adults.

Sunday Service

Overall, if my time at St. Andrew was extremely familiar and comfortable. As I describe below, other then an interesting candle-lighting "ceremony" before and after the service, the service was extremely similar to a Knox service. St. Andrew had a time of fellowship with some breakfast food (bagels, donuts, and orange juice) between the worship service and the Sunday school, not unlike the time in Knox hall that we have. The lady who say behind me in service, whom I introduced myself to after the service, took really good care of me and introduced me to a ton of different people in the church. I got a chance to meet the pastor, who actually had spent some time serving in Taiwan as a missionary, and learned that he actually was very familiar with Pastor Mike Frison from Knox!

MCCC really needs more colorful builletins.

The Worship

The music was simple but familiar. There was a piano, drums, and three vocalists on stage. The songs we sang were some of my all-time favorite classic Christian songs, so even though I was at a new church and didn't know anyone there, I was really able to focus on God and worship him. We sang songs like This is My Father's World, 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, and How Deep the Father's Love for Us, which I really enjoyed. To me, the musical worship was a great balance between contemporary Christian and traditional hymns, much like the worship at Knox!

The Sermon

The sermon, titled "Can I be Sure" from Hebrews 6:4-8, was a talk on assurance of salvation (which is a topic that seems to be popping up a lot in my life). Assurance of salvation is always a difficult topic to speak on (thought I really enjoyed John Piper's sermon series on it), and Pastor Glen really went down the "a good tree must produce good fruit" route, but I thought it leaned a little too heavily towards moralism. Again, I know it's a really difficult subject to speak on, but I wish the cross was emphasized more heavily as the means and assurance of our salvation. As I said in my last post, I recognize that pastors here are probably used to speaking to completely Christian congregations, but to me, I still think that the gospel needs to be preached every week. To be honest, I'm more willing to give Pastor Glen the benefit of the doubt, as he is friends with Pastor Mike, and the church really does seem more gospel-centered than the other ones I've been to. Talking to one of the ladies, she said that it was probably just this Sunday that Pastor Glen decided to approach assurance of salvation from this angle.

Sunday School

I was pretty excited for Sunday School when I learned that they were studying Revelation, and it did turn out to be extremely enjoyable to me. The class turned out to be more like a directed discussion, but I thought that the conversation that we had was a perfect mix between head knowledge and life application, especially when it is so easy to get caught up in over-analyzing passages in Revelation. I was pleased that I felt like I was able to contribute to the discussion and felt honored and respected, despite being the only one in the room that was under ~45 years old. I was very pleased that the members of this Sunday school really knew their Scripture and knew what they were talking about, and it was obvious to me that the members of this church were sufficiently intellectual in their approach to Scripture (which really isn't always the case, especially in this culturally Christian, more blue collar sort of city).

Reflection 

What I liked
Familiar Worship - Maybe I just got lucky with the song selection, but I really enjoyed the music and found it easy to worship. Even though there wasn't really much of a praise band, and it didn't actually seem like the singing was very loud (probably because the sanctuary was around half full), but it was just a good time to commune with God privately, which is what we Asian Americans like to do!

Sunday School - Sunday school was fun, and as I mentioned before, I felt like my voice mattered and I was able to be part of a lively, well-informed discussion. If I came to this church, I would still want to have a more teaching-focused type of class, and it was obvious to me that the teacher was definitely knowledgeable enough to make the class that way if he so chose.

Conferences - After Sunday school, one of the ladies in the church asked me told me that I seemed interested in Reformed theology (I really have no idea how she knew from the limited interactions we had, and I don't think I really gave much away during Sunday school), and she introduced me to and invited me to a bunch of different conferences, such as The Philadelphia Conference on Reformed Theology and Together for the Gospel. I probably won't be able to make T4G because it's in the middle of the week, but I'm going to be going to the Philadelphia Conference on Reformed Theology next month with this church! I'm super excited to go to one of these "adult" conferences, and even if I don't end up at this church, I'm sure that it will be a good experience.

What I didn't like as much
Far from where I live- The number one reason I am hesitant to join this church is that it is half an hour away, making it hard for me to really be a part of the mission of the church. I want to join a church that I will be able to invite people to and a church where I can serve during the week. I feel like it would be hard for me to really feel like I'm part of a church that I live so far away from. I wouldn't really be able to contribute to the mission of the church if the church doesn't specifically reach out to Fort Wayne. In other words, this church would probably be good for me to be fed at, but may not a good church for me to serve at.

Lack of young adults - This isn't a very new problem for me visiting churches, but after meeting the guys that I did the previous week at Providence, I was a little disappointed not to really get a chance to meet any young adults. I knew that there were one or two young adult guys, but I didn't really get a chance to talk to them.

The Verdict

St. Andrew Evangelical Presbyterian Church was a very comfortable, familiar church that I probably wouldn't mind making my home church if I can't find a good church here in Fort Wayne. I want to go back to hear another sermon to make sure that the teaching is okay, but the focus of the church seemed to be good, and the people I met really knew their stuff and were enthusiastic about the Word. I'm really glad that I'm able to go to a conference with some of the people from this church, and I see myself growing spiritually at this church. However, I would still much rather join a good, missional church with good teaching that is closer to home so I could be able to join qthe church in reaching out to the community.

Next up: Northpark Community Church (2/26/2012)

Church Hopping Week 1 - Fellowship Community Church
Church Hopping Week 2 - Calvary Baptist Church
Church Hopping Week 3 - Providence Presbyterian Church

Happy 1709th Anniversary, Diocletianic Persecution

Yesterday night when I was reading The Book of Martyrs, I read:

"Under the Roman Emperors, commonly called the Era of the Martyrs, was occasioned partly by the increasing numbers and luxury of the christians, and the hatred of Galerius, the adopted son of Diocletian, who, being stimulated by his mother, a bigoted pagan, never ceased persuading the emperor to enter upon the persecution, till he had accomplished his purpose. The fatal day fixed upon to commence the bloody work, was the 23d of February, A.D. 303."

I realized that this was today! Obviously, I don't believe in coincidences, and it's amazing how God works things together like this!

Anyways, today is the 1709th anniversary of the beginning of the Dioclitianic Persecution, a persecution of Christians that, according to Wikipedia, resulted in 3,000 - 3,500 deaths of Christians and the torture and persecution of countless more. In reading the about all of these martyrs, I've really gained an appreciation for the early church, understanding that God used the bloody sacrifice of these men and women to advance his kingdom. Again, I encourage reading at least a little bit of the book and learning a little more about church history! It's really helped me appreciate the sovereignty of God in the growth of the church, and I hope that you can be encouraged in reading the few snippets of text in this post.

[A few extra thoughts: I don't think we can be completely sure that all the records are 100% accurate, and it is totally possible that the martyrdom of early Christians is somewhat romanticized and determination and fortitude of those martyred were exaggerated, but I think that the spirit of resilience in the church is extremely obvious. Another note worth making is that I've found it easy to idolize these early Christians, but we must always remember that in the end, it is Christ who suffered the worst punishment, more than anything we would ever be able to comprehend, and it is Christ who we are to look to and worship, not the martyrs. The martyrs need to point us to Christ, not to substitute him.]

Here are some things that surprised me and stuck out to me as I've been reading the book.

The brutality of the tortures and the executions

Reading of some of the tortures really makes my stomach turn. It's some of the most horrifying things I could ever imagine, and I just try not to picture the tortures as I read the book. I'm not going to go into the details of what I read (there really weren't that many given, anyways), but it became very obvious that being beheaded was probably the most painless way to die, as many of the Christians were boiled to death, burned alive, had hooks run through their body, were beaten to death, and were killed by beasts. The human heart is immeasurably wicked, which we sometimes forget.

The martrydom of women

One of the biggest surprises to me is reading about how many women were martyred. Not only is this a sign of the utter depravity of those in authority, but also really a testament to the fortitude of the females' faiths. From the way we talk about early Christians, it's easy to think that women were marginalized and looked down upon in the early church, but I think that the martyrdom and strength of these Christian women really proves otherwise. Many women were bold in proclaiming their faith, and they paid for it with their lives. The fearlessness with which women clung on to the gospel is worthy of admiration, both from the early church and now. To all the people reading this that may not want to read any of this brutal stuff (like my mother, who is a self-admitted ostrich), this next story is a more heartwarming story that you may "enjoy".

Theodora and Didymus - A tale of two martyrs

"Theodora, a beautiful young lady of Antioch, on refusing to sacrifice to the Roman idols, was contemned to the stews, that her virtue might be sacrificed to the brutality of lust. Didymus, a Christian, disguised himself in the habit of a Roman soldier, went to the house, informed Theodora who he was, and advised her to make her escape in his clothes. This being effected, and a man found in the brothel instead of a beautiful lady, Didymus was taken before the president, to whom confessing the truth, and owning that he was a Christian the sentence of death was immediately pronounced against him. Theodora, hearing that her deliverer was likely to suffer, came to the judge, threw herself at his feet, and begged that the sentence might fall on her as the guilty person; but, deaf to the cries of the innocent, and insensible to the calls of justice, the inflexible judge condemned both, when they were executed accordingly, being first beheaded, and their bodies burnt afterwards."

The martrydom of the rich, influential, and soldiers

It was quite surprising to me to hear of Roman senators and wealthy people being martyred. In the current "We are the 99%" day and age, we often think of the rich and powerful as invincible and simply untouchable, but the persecution of the Christians really seemed to be completely indiscriminate. This is a real, powerful reminder that our riches on earth will never compare to the crown of righteousness, which the martyrs so often looked forward to. It was also very interesting to me that it seemed that many, many soldiers died as martyrs. I had thought that being a military state, the Romans would have really glorified their soldiers, like we do here in the US. I had thought that the Romans would also desire to preserve their military strength, but history tells us that the Romans executed entire legions of Christians. Below are two of my favorite stories that I've read so far.

Sebastian - a man martyred twice

"Sebastian, a celebrated martyr, was born at Narbonne, in Gaul, instructed in the principles of Christianity at Milan, and afterward became an officer of the emperor's guard at Rome. He remained a true Christian in the midst of idolatry; unallured by the splendours of a court, untainted by evil examples, and uncontaminated by the hopes of perferment. Refusing to be a pagan, the emperor ordered him to be taken to a field near the city, termed the Campus Martius, and there to by shot to death with arrows; which sentence was executed accordingly. Some pious Christians coming to the place of execution, in order to give his body burial, perceived signs of life in him, and immediately moving him to a place of security, they, in a short time effected his recovery, and prepared him for a second martyrdom; for, as soon as he was able to go out, he placed himself intentionally in the emperor's way as he was going to the temple, and reprehended him for his various cruelties and unreasonable prejudices against Christianity. As soon as Diocletian had overcome his surprise, he ordered Sebastian to be seized, and carried to a place near the palace, and beaten to death; and, that the Christians should not either use means again to recover or bury his body, he ordered that it should be thrown into the common sewer. Nevertheless, a Christian lady, named Lucina, found means to remove it from the sewer, and bury it in the catacombs, or repositories of the dead."

The legion of martyrs

"In the year of Christ 286, a most remarkable affair occurred; a legion of soldiers, consisting of 6666 men, contained none but Christians. This legion was called the Theban Legion, because the men had been raised in Thebias...Maximian, about this time, ordered a general sacrifice, at which the whole army was to assist; and likewise he commanded, that they should take the oath of allegiance and swear, at the same time, to assist in the extirpation of Christianity in Gaul.
Alarmed by these orders, each individual of the Theban Legion absolutely refused either to sacrifice or take the oaths prescribed. This so greatly enraged Maximian, that he ordered the legion to be decimated, that is, every tenth man to be selected from the rest, and put to the sword. This bloody order having been put in execution, those who remained alive were still inflexible, when a second decimation took place, and every tenth man of those living were put to death.

This second severity made no more impression than the first had done; the soldiers preserved their fortitude and their principles, but by the advice of their officers they drew up a loyal remonstrance to the emperor. This, it might have been presumed, would have softened the emperor, but it had a contrary effect: for, enraged at their perseverance and unanimity, he commanded , that the whole legion should be put to death, which was accordingly executed by the other troops, who cut them to pieces with their swords, 22d Sept. 286."

The conversion of executioners

Another common theme in many of the stories is that the executioners would see the strength in those they were about to be execute, and would decide to become Christians on the spot and be killed almost instantaneously. This is simply amazing - God's grace at it's best. It isn't foolish of us to pray for the persecutors of the faith. It isn't foolish of us to pray for Al Qaeda or the Chinese government. God saved Paul, a persecutor of the early church, and he saved many in the first few centuries of the church, and he can still do that today. When Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you", he wasn't simply talking about people that gossip about you and are mean to you, he's calling us to pray for those who are actively trying to destroy the Christian religion.


The danger of being a church leader

As I read through the book, it's really astonishing to me how many times the "Bishop of Rome" (what we would now call the Pope) was martyred. Every time a Bishop of Rome was martyred, the next succeeding Bishop of Rome would probably be martyred too. In fact, according to this list on Wikipedia, 10 of the Popes from Pope 9 to Pope 28 were martyred. That's a mortality rate of over 50%! We've already seen from my previous post that all the apostles but John were martyred, but from the little church history I know, I've found that all of the prominent church leaders whose name I recognize were all martyred. I don't know why it was a surprise to me, but I was kind of shocked that these men (like Polycarp, Origen, and Ignatius), for whom I only know their theological contributions, were all killed for their faith.  Nowadays, being a church leader means glory, a big name, a big church, and large book royalties. As young men, we look up to these men of wisdom and insight, for the fame and large sphere of influence that they have. Back then, being a church leader meant almost certain death. These men stepped up to serve God, knowing full well that it would probably cost them their lives. This is an incredibly great reminder to us that being a church leader isn't about glorifying ourselves but about glorifying God, even if it costs us our lives.

Revelation 2:10 - "Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life."

Related post - New Insights into Suffering

Acts 8 - Rise and Go

This post, along with the following posts is on Acts 8:26-40, which is the familiar story of Philip and the Ethiopian. (I had wanted to fit it all into one post, but I think it would just be extremely long and unfocused, so this post is just going to be on verses 26 and 27.)

Acts 8:26-27 - "Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, 'Rise and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.' This is a desert place. And he rose and went."

I. "Rise and go"

The first thing that caught my eye was the word "rise". Why did the angel say that? Was Philip sleeping or something? I doubt it. Was he just lying down? We have no indication of that. We know from earlier in the chapter that Philip isn't just lounging around doing nothing while all the other disciples are hard at work, so it probably isn't the angel telling him to get off his tush and go do something. I don't know any Greek, so I don't really know what the significance or "rise" is, but we it isn't a completely unfamiliar phrase. We see in Jonah that God tells him "Arise, and go" and we actually see this phrase is used quite often in the Bible.

However, I have kind of a hunch about this whole "rise" thing. I've sort of noticed it used a LOT in my reading of Acts, and while it may just be a commonly used word, I think that Luke uses it intentionally. You Bible teachers out there (Pastor Bob) can correct me on this later, but my guess is that all of this business with rising has to do with the resurrection of Jesus Christ. After all, the book of Acts is a record of the amazing things that happen in the church because of the resurrection of Christ . We can just take a look at Luke's emphasis on "rising" in the book of Acts so far.

Jesus rose up to heaven.
Acts 1:9 - "And when [Jesus]had said these things, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him out of their sight."

Peter rose up to tell of God raising Jesus from the dead.
Acts 1:15 - "In those days Peter stood up among the brothers" and then gave a sweet speech about Jesus.
Acts 2:23 - "this Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men. God raised him up, loosing the pangs of death, because it was not possible for him to be held by it.
Acts 2:32 - "This Jesus God raised up, and of that we are all witnesses."

A lame man rises up to walk, and the disciples speak of Jesus raised up to explain the miracle.
Acts 3:6 - "But Peter said, "I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk!"
Acts 3:15 - "and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses."

The holiness and power of God is revealed.
Acts 5:5-6 - "When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. And great fear came upon all who heard of it. And young men rose and wrapped him up and carried him out and buried him."

If Christ did not rise from the dead, Christianity is doomed to fail.
Acts 5:17 - "But the high priest rose up, filled with jealousy."
Acts 5:36-39 - "...Theudas rose up, claiming to be somebody...He was killed, and all who followed him were dispersed and came to nothing. After him Judas the Galilean rose up..He too perished and all who followed him were scattered...if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You might even be found opposing God!"

Stephen sees Jesus rising from his seat at the right hand of God to receive him
Acts 7:55 - "But [Stephen], full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God."

Ananias rose to pray over Saul, who then rose and was baptized.
Acts 9:11 - "Rise and go to the street called Straight..."
Acts 9:17 - "And immediately, something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptized; and taking food, he was strengthened.

Peter was commanded to rise and eat what he had thought unclean.
Acts 10:13-14 - "And there came a voice to him: 'Rise, Peter; kill and eat.' But Peter said, 'By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.'"

As I mentioned before, God's command to rise up and do stuff isn't rare in the Bible, but in the book of Acts, everything is different, because Jesus has risen from the dead! We can only "rise and go" because Jesus first did it! Jesus rose from his seat in heaven and came down into the world. He rose from the dead, then ascended back into heaven. The power of the resurrection is the power by which all the disciples did their miracles and this is the power by which we do anything that pleases God. This is the power by which we rise from the dead - the power by which we are saved. This is the power by which Jesus takes the hand of our heart and says "Child, arise", like he did for the little girl in Luke 8. This resurrection power is also the power by which we go, the power through which we can spread the gospel! As one of my favorite worship songs says, "The same power that conquered the grave lives in me!"

Christians, rise and go, for your Christ is risen!

II. This is a desert place.

It's very interesting that Luke decided to add this detail here. I think that Luke is indicating that the place where the angel told him to go wasn't an attractive place. It wasn't somewhere you would visit on vacation. There's also no guarantee that there would be people there to minister to! In essence, the angel told Philip to go to a remote location with no people, no food or water, but a lot of heat and discomfort. We know that Philip had already been doing some great ministry, but God called him somewhere that just didn't seem like it had much ministry potential! Sometimes God calls us to uncomfortable or seemingly strange places that causes us to doubt God's wisdom. "God, are you really calling me here? I think you may be misappropriating your resources, God. In case you didn't notice, I can cast out demons and all that cool stuff, and people really seem to like me, so I think it would be most wise if you put me somewhere with a lot of people and somewhere that is a little more comfortable." We lack the faith and the trust in God to go and minister in places that seem spiritually desolate. We have unspoken, subconscious barriers that we set up, marking the boundaries to our possible obedience to God. We allow our fleshly desires to limit how we serve God.

III. And he rose and went.

If only this was our attitude to the commands of God! If only we rise and go to do all that he commands us to do, even if it seems hard and even if we don't really want to! It's interesting that in chapters 8, 9, and 10, God commands three different people to rise and go, and Philip is the only one who did so immediately. Ananias initially didn't want to minister to Saul, and Peter didn't want to eat the unclean food, but Philip immediately rose and went, despite having to probably walk to the desert without a real knowledge of why God wanted him there.

As a kid, my mom always got frustrated at me for not doing what she told me the first time she told it to me. If she told me to do something like set the table or clean my room, I would always tell her "later, later, later" until she would finally just explode and yell at me after asking me nicely so many times. The moral of the story is (as is always the moral of any story of mine): Don't be like Caleb. "Obey the first time," as my mother used to say (or yell).

So let's obey God when he calls. Let's obey his call to rise out of our sin and out of our shame. Let's obey his call to rise out of self-absorption and our self-centeredness. And let's obey God's command to go - his command to go into all nations and make disciples. Let's obey God's command to go and care for the sick, the poor, and the oppressed. Let's obey when God calls us to go places, whether geographically or figuratively, that are undesirable, unappealing, and uncomfortable. Let's obey God when He calls us to go, even if not every last detail of his plan has been revealed to us.

Christians, rise and go, for your Christ is risen!

Acts 7 - We the Pharisees

Acts 7 - We the Pharisees

Recently, I've been reading Acts, and God has really shown me a lot in it, so I'm just going to try and share a little of what I get out of the passages that I read. As sort of a disclaimer, I'm a noob. I'm no theologian, and I don't read the passage in the original Greek or anything super-intellectual like that, so my insights may be a little more contrived and may not actually completely and accurately reflect the author's intent, but I still hope you enjoy it.

The Build-up

I read Acts 7 as part of my quiet time last Friday. As you can figure out just by flipping your Bible open to Acts 7 (or being lazy and clicking this link), it's Stephen's last speech to the Jews who seized him before he was martyred. Now I didn't actually get to finish the entire chapter, so I finished it on Saturday as part of my quiet time, when Saturday, when Nathan, Jonny, and Cory came to visit. I had been really frustrated with not being able to finish the chapter, as Stephen's speech just sort of builds and builds, as he goes through Israel's history of disobedience and God's grace through it all. Halfway through we're all must be thinking "Okay Stephen...get to the point." The Jews that seized him, who had falsely accused him of blaspheming against Moses, must have been thinking "Yeah, Stephen. We know our history, we've all heard this before...". Stephen spends a little bit of time talking about some of the patriarchs, but actually spends more than half of his speech talking about Moses, who he was accused of blaspheming against. I don't actually think that there was anything that Stephen said that any of the Jews would have objected to. Until BAM. HE NAILS THEM.

The Pwnage

Out of NOWHERE Stephen just demolishes them. Stephen's just completely smashes them to pieces. For some reason, his speech kind of reminded me of Denzel's famous speech at the end of training day (video here), where he just lays entire sentences of insults and expletives at the people around him. Completely different situation, I know, but it just reminded me of it. In the buildup, you can almost imagine the Jew's thinking, "I hate this guy for talking about Jesus!!!!....oh okay...he's talking about Joseph...wow this guy knows his history...yay Moses! I love Moses...At least he's not talking about Jesus....OH WTF. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY. NO HE DI'INT. LET'S KILL THIS FOO." What exactly did Stephen say that so enraged them, that they "ground their teeth at him", which I guess is some sort of expression of hatred? [As a sidenote, I grind my teeth when I sleep (as Cory found out this weekend), so if you ever hear me grinding my teeth at you, please disregard it as my sleeping and not me wanting to kill you.] Let's take a look at what Stephen said.

I want to concentrate on verse 51: "You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit."

"You stiff-necked people"

I'm no expert in stiff-necked-ness, but I assume that Stephen is talking about being stubborn and unwilling to change, as he will elaborate further on. Doing a quick Biblegateway search, we see that this isn't the only time that the phrase has been used in the Bible, as God had used it to describe Israel, which is exactly what Stephen was trying to point out in his speech.

"uncircumcised in heart and ears"

As you may have already guessed, this is the phrase that really caught my eye. THIS is probably what cut most deeply at the hearts of the Jews (pun intended). We know that of all that these uber-religious Jews were proud of, they were the most proud of their circumcision. They loved that they were Jews. They looked down on all with foreskins and really flaunted their circumcision and Jew-ness around. To call a Jew, especially a "religious" Jew, uncircumcised? That was the ultimate insult! Stephen was not only attacking their identity as Jews, but because the circumcision was a sign of the Jews' covenant with God, he was attacking their faith and their religiosity. He was correctly diagnosing the spiritual deadness of their hearts. But man. What a harsh rebuking.

"you always resist the Holy Spirit. As your fathers do, so do you."

This is when all of a sudden the conviction fell on me like a bag of bricks (who carries bricks in bags, anyways?). I was all like "Haha! You Pharisees just got BURNED by Stephen so hard!", but then I realized that this passage...the Pharisees...that's ME. This verse is a great, memorable summarization of the doctrine of sin - that apart from the saving grace of God, we ALL cannot help but resist the Holy Spirit. We ALL are stiff-necked, stuck in our sin, with no hope for true circumcision of the heart. This is the problem of my heart - I cannot help but sin and resist the Holy Spirit. Not only is this my problem, this is the problem of all of creation and all of man. This has been the problem for generations and generations and ages and ages. There is none that can self-determine to not resist the Holy Spirit.

When we read stories of the Pharisees in the Bible, we almost always vilify them without realizing that we are actually just like them, if not worse! Tim Keller said in one of his sermons, "How often do we read the passage on the Pharisee's prayer and the tax collector's prayer and think to ourselves 'Thank God I'm not like that Pharisee?'" I am that guy. I'm the modern-day Pharisee who scoffs at the Pharisees. I'm the pot who called the kettle black (not that there's anything wrong with being black, of course. I lovingly accept and enjoy the diversity of kettles of all colors). Apart from God, I hate Him. And I hate people that love Him. I cannot help but sin. I have no ability to please God. To top it all off, I have no ability to not hate God, even if I tried, which I would never do, because I hate God so much. Reading this passage with an understanding that I am actually the Jew - who is absolutely dead in sin and pride and hate having my sins pointed - really opens up my eyes.

But obviously, this isn't the end of the story. There is good news, and that is that God can overcome our resisting of him, which he accomplished by Jesus' death on the cross, that we can share in the communion with God as Stephen experienced, and one day we will meet him in heaven and give him a hug and tell him "Thanks for Acts 7. That was a pretty sweet speech."

The death of Stephen

So what ultimately made the Jews so mad that they killed him? Stephen said he saw Jesus. He said he saw God. How blessed are we that we have that same privilege to know the true, living God. In his entire speech, Stephen actually barely mentioned Jesus. He alluded to Jesus when he said that their ancestors killed the prophets we predicted the coming of "the Righteous One." This was only the second time. The Jews couldn't believe their ears, that Stephen was claiming that he could see God, and that he could see the Messiah. While I highly doubt anyone reading this post has actually seen God, we have the unthinkable opportunity to know Jesus. Jesus says in John 14:9, "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father". It's amazing how we can claim to know the Messiah personally and the Creator God of heaven and earth, the very things that Stephen died for.

God, I am a sinner. I cannot help but resist you. Thank you for overcoming my resistance and giving me your salvation. Reveal to me the places in my life where I'm still resisting you, and help me give those things over to you.