Thursday, August 4, 2011

Stupid Me, Stupid Bee

Something crazy just happened.

I'm sitting here on the floor with my back to the couch watching the Yankees beating the White Sox 4-1. I lean back and extend my arms on the couch, as I often do on church pews...or just chairs in general. My pose is sort of hard to describe, so I hope the following picture illustrates it. I looked something like this (also, this):

This guy isn't as good-looking as me, but this picture will have to do.

A few seconds later, I realize that my left hand kind of hurts, with a piercing sort of pain. I pull it back, wondering why my hand is hurting. I played with my hand a bit, but it didn't seem to hurt when I applied pressure to the pain. It hurt a lot when I clenched a fist, but would then disappear for a little bit. I thought it was a splinter, so I examined my hand under the light, but there doesn't seem to be any cut or any splinter. I spent a bunch of time looking for it, but as you can see pretty much, nothing:

I should be a hand model, yes?

By now, my hand was really throbbing, and the pain was becoming unbearable. I went to the freezer to get myself an ice cube to numb the pain. Walking back to the couch area, I find this on the pillow sitting on the couch. :

This is the thorn in my hand's side. Ouch. 

Yes, that is a bee, and yes, it is dead. Then hit me. When I stuck my arm back and rested it on the pillow, I inadvertently rested my hand on the stinger of the dead bee. I can't believe that just happened to me. I stung myself with a dead bee. The bee didn't sting me, I literally jammed my hand into the bee's stinger. I essentially ran into a parked car. Stupid bee. Stupid me.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how I stung myself with a dead bee.

Medical update for all of you who are deeply worried about my well-being: 
My hand hurts a lot. I need to ice my hand twice a minute or else the sharp pain in my hand is more than my low pain tolerance can handle. I'm not positive, but I think I'll make it through this one. But hey, at least the Yankees are about to win the game 7-1!

Dang it. 7-2 now. Mariano just gave up a 9th inning HR? It has been a weird day.

1 comment:

  1. you sure he didn't sting you then die? cuz i know some bees die after they sting...

    that is hilarious tho haha

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