Monday, December 30, 2013

To My Spiritually Backslidden Friends

Colossians 4:12-13 - "Epaphras, who is one of you, a servant of Christ Jesus, greets you, always struggling on your behalf in his prayers, that you may stand mature and fully assured in all the will of God. For I bear him witness that he has worked hard for you and for those in Laodicea and in Hierapolis."

To my spiritually backslidden friends - my MCCC friends that I see once every few years and my AIV friends that I only see now during weddings - I'm praying for you. For some of you, I've known that you haven't gone to church in years and probably don't even self-identify as Christians anymore. Even though I didn't ask you about church or God because I didn't want to embarrass you or force you to pretend to care, your distance from God continues to break my heart. For others of you, your spiritual regression, though fairly recent, was not surprising to me. And maybe you even knew that I knew (or could guess) that you stopped going to church even before I asked you about it. And then there are the handful of you that surprised me with your renunciation of Christ and his Church, leaving me sad and speechless.

Whoever you are, I'll be your Epaphras. There was once I time that I was physically with you and could make a real difference in your life. But those times have passed, and for most of you, I am no longer in a place relationally or geographically where I can drag you to church or discuss spiritual things. Even though I can't engage you on what I believe to be meaninglessness and futility of life without Christ, I can and will struggle on your behalf in my prayers.

But I must admit that as one guy, I feel a bit overwhelmed - there are just so many of you and I am so powerless! As my mind sweeps through all of your names and faces, I simultaneously mourn and rejoice in my utter powerlessness to change you. Though my heart's combination of brotherly love and a prideful Messiah-complex makes me wish I could make a real difference in your life, the reminder of God's sovereignty and the gift of prayer is my lone hope and comfort.

And so I'll continue to pray. I pray knowing that I join in with the saints who love you and want to see you love Jesus - your mom and dad, your childhood church friends, your college fellowship friends. I pray trusting in the sovereignty and goodness of God, soberly aware that your salvation is not dependent on the number of my prayers lifted or tears shed. And as a weak, immature, oft-distracted, poor-man's Epaphras, the times that I struggle to struggle on your behalf in my prayers may be frequent, but I pray trusting that the same God who took a Lunchables of fish and crackers and transformed it into a feast can similarly transform my unworthy prayers into power spiritual weapons.

And obviously, I post this not to get spiritual high-fives but to let you know that I care, I'm thinking about you, and I'm here if you want to talk.

I love you all. Come home to Jesus.
Caleb


Friday, December 27, 2013

Closest Game of Nertz

Yesterday Chough had a bunch of Joywok collegians and working people over at his place and after having a blast stuffing ourselves, playing Pulse and Heads Up, we decided to cool down a little bit and play Nertz. Splitting up into two groups of three teams, I played the closest game of Nertz ever. Here's the score sheet and a "game flow" visualization kind of interactive graph. Notice the big lead that Martin and I had in Round 6 and the major one-round comeback by Jensen/Phoebe in Round 11.

Thanks to Martin for carrying me yesterday. I was out of my league.

If anyone has an amazing Nertz story, I want to hear it!

Final Scores
Jonny/Phoebe Caleb/Martin Jensen/Sam
101 99 99

Score Sheet





Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Real War on Christmas

The so-called "war on Christmas" is always a common source of contrived contention, and though I know that no none of you asked for it, here's my take on this "war".

To me, the war against Christmas isn't only waged by the secular - it's one that Christians wage inwardly daily. You see, if the glorification of Christ and his sacrifice is the true "reason for the season", any self-glorification or stuff-glorification is a declaration of war on everything Christmas stands for. This battle between the Christmas spirit of Christ-glorification and self-denial and the secular Grinch spirit of idolization and distraction is a battle that every Christian fights - a battle that's fought as much during the holiday Christmas season as much as any other time in the year.

This is a battle that we lose when we neglect to meet with God after sleeping in, as we spend our days off in either idleness or meaningless busyness, a battle we lose when we catch up with all of our old friends except Jesus and when we spend time with all of our family except for our heavenly Father. We wage war on the ultimate gift of Christmas when we're more preoccupied with both giving and receiving trinkets, an act of aggression far more profound than any mindless "Happy Holidays". Like all sinners, we fall into the trap of valuing and enjoying the benefits of Christ over Christ himself - be they externally admirable gifts such as friendship and family or overtly materialistic pleasures.

So this Christmas, when we hear talk about the "war on Christmas", let's not condemn the secular or scoff at the overzealous religious. Let's reflect and self-examine how we ourselves have been waging a war against Christmas.

Merry Christmas, all!


Saturday, December 21, 2013

Anderson Silva, Please Retire

[I wrote this post months ago but never got around to posting it. Anderson Silva's fight is next week, and I'm so nervous about the fight I don't even know if I'll be able to watch it...]

Anderson Silva,

You've always been my favorite fighter, and you're the reason I'm into MMA. You could actually say that we got into the UFC together, as I started watching MMA around the time that you had your first UFC fight against Chris Leben. The streak of knockouts under 2 minutes allowed me to witness ingenious striking as I've never seen it before. You were as close to invincible as I've ever seen anyone until you fought Chael Sonnen, but as a true champion, you still eked out the victory.

I've never taken any sports loss as hard as I took your loss against Chris Weidman. Not even the Eagles losing the Super Bowl or Michigan losing the NCAA Basketball Championship game. I watched the fight at Bdubs in Ann Arbor, after Jenny and Steven's wedding, dragging along a couple of friends with me, only to have my night ruined. And not just my night, my love for MMA came to a screeching halt. I haven't been able to watch anything about the UFC, as every reminder of your loss triggers the mental picture of you lying on the ground knocked out, and it makes me want to cry. I didn't even watch the post-fight press conference, and it wasn't until my friends told me that there's going to be a rematch did I even find out about that.

And so, Anderson, here's my plea - hang up those gloves. You're 38. You have nothing left to prove. You're the Greatest of All Time. Please don't end your career being knocked out like Liddell or Wandy. Sure, you'll probably earn thousands from these fights, but for young and new MMA fans, all they'll know about Anderson 'the Spider' Silva is that he's this guy that used to be good but is knocked out a lot. They won't know about your underrated chin, your uncuttable face, and your unhittable head.

A lot of people have criticized you for playing with Weidman and for not taking him seriously, but I've watched all of your UFC fights multiple times, and I know that just isn't the case. Just as certain as your "feeling out" first minute of the first round is the mental games that you play with your opponents. Your mental game has been a hugely underrated aspect of your fighting, and your head movement has always been good enough to allow you to counterattack and knock guys out, even with your hands down. Where were all of the critics when you knocked out Forrest and Okami after dropping your hands and playing with them? It's been known within the MMA community that "When Anderson's hands drop, you drop." But the critics will be critics. They don't know the hard work you put into preparation, evidence that you take no one lightly, just that you approach them differently in the Octagon.

So I know that you weren't playing with Chris. You were doing what you normally do, trying to cause a mistake and to counter it. But you got caught. By a powerful guy. You got caught. I don't think you got caught because you were playing around too much. You got caught because you're 38 and just don't have those kind of reflexes anymore. There's no shame in getting old, and Father Time always catches even the best of athletes. But please, Anderson, I beg of you to retire and preserve your legacy. Quit while you're on top. I know you've tried before, and Dana White wants to continue using you to earn money. But quit. Anderson, you've given the sport all there is to give. It's time to hang'em up.

I'll continue mourning your loss until you beat Chris in your rematch. But after that, please retire. I don't think I can take any more of this. And when you retire, I'll mourn your retirement. I've always loved you and will keep on loving you, but please don't make me go through this again. My heart can't take any more of it.

Sincerely,
Your Biggest Fan

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Jesus and Paparazzi

Quick quiz! Without looking, what is the event that directly preceded Jesus feeding the five thousand? 

When we read the gospels, the uninspired section headers paired with our paragraph-by-paragraph Bible-reading habits can causes us to read the gospels as disjoint short stories instead of the unified narrative that it is (which is why manuscript study is often very nice).

I noticed something for the first time the other day, something that I've never seen before. Directly preceding the feeding of the five thousand are these verses:

"And [John the Baptist's] disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus [that John had just been beheaded]. Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick." -Matthew 14:12-14

Here's the scene. Jesus receives word that his servant and friend, cousin, and the guy who he said was the greatest man ever had been executed. Wanting some time alone to grieve and pray, he withdraws to be by himself. BUT the mob of people follow him, presumably cutting short his grieving time. Despite the crowd's insensitivity, Jesus still has compassion on them.

I recently spent a good amount of time watching videos celebrities fighting paparazzi. Be it those bothering Justin Beiber, Jay-Z, or Kanye, I just love to hate paparazzi, people who basically make a living by making others' lives hell. Camping outside of Kanye's house at 4AM? Come on. Leave the guy alone. The nosiness, insensitivity, and generally scumminess of paparazzi even makes me root for Justin Beiber when he kind of runs one guy over with a car (link above).

Having mobs of people following you that want things from you must be truly awful. And this must have been even worse for Jesus, as he was mourning the loss of someone he loved and regarded very highly, and the crowd relentlessly didn't allow him to have his privacy in his time of loss. And yet "he had compassion on them". Jesus is amazing. If it was me (or Kanye or Beiber), I would have thrown a hissy fit, probably punching some people, cursing them out, and possibly running one over with a car. Having relentless crowds tailing you is bad enough, but in time of mourning? That must be unbearable.

How great the compassion of Christ that he had compassion on and served people who were rudely intruding on his life! How foolish of us to doubt God's care and hesitate to bring our burdens to him when we know that he is a God of utmost patience and compassion!

[In case any of you were wondering if this is in fact chronologically accurate, in all four Gospels, it seems that Jesus either hears about John's death or is speaking about John right before he feeds the five thousand. Mark 6:29-30, Luke 9:7-10, John 5:33-6:1]

Monday, December 9, 2013

Signs You Might Love Football More Than Jesus

Football, like anything else in life, can be idolized. We, dear reader, are tempted more than ever in this NFL-mobile-app, sports radio culture to elevate football over Jesus. But sometimes gauging our hearts can be hard to do, so for the sake of the kingdom, I've put together a small list of signs that you might love football more than Jesus. If you find that any or all of the statements below are true, I strongly urge you to promptly burn all of your football-related possessions, throw your TV away, and if necessary, gouge out your eyeballs (Matthew 5:29 - it's biblical). I thought about attaching images for each of these points to spice up the post, but I decided that I didn't want to stoop to the depths of Buzzfeed, so here is the pure, unadulterated list:

1) You have more sports apparel than you do Jesus apparel. 
I'm sure you've all heard the Biblical truth: "You might be the only Bible someone reads". If you don't wear Christian T-shirts, how will people hear the gospel?!?! Bonus points for wearing T-Shirts with Bible Verses on them! Or if you want to be a Christian hipster, get a Scripture tattoo!

2) Your idea of "righteous anger" is hating your bitter rival.
Let's be honest. Urban Meyer and Nick Saban are easy to hate. Eli is easy to tease too (though I suppose that teasing the disabled is bad taste).

3) You pray more during football games than during the week. 
This is especially true if you are a Michigan fan and have been forced to watch Devin Gardner this year. Living on a Prayer, anyone?

4) Church is just your Christian pre-game.
Church for you is just the necessary tradition before a game where you get together with friends and talk about the upcoming football for the day, updating your fantasy team while some guy talks about something on stage. Crackers and grape juice ain't no burgers and beer, but hey - it's holy!

5) You do your quiet times in hopes that God will bless your fantasy team.
Beware of the up-and-coming version of the prosperity gospel - if you live a "good" life and do the right things, God will bless you and your first round pick won't get injured and your waiver wire pickups will exceed expectations. "Bad fantasy week? There must be some sin in your life - check your heart, bro."

6) You hate Ohio State so much that you can't bring yourself to worship God at a Asian-American InterVarsity Conference because of the Ohio State-comprised worship team.
...This is all hypothetical of course...and hypothetically if this is something someone experienced, that someone probably had a lot of heart issues to deal with and repenting to do.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Catching Fire - We are the People of Capitol

[No real spoilers.]

Despite all of its shortcomings, the Hunger Games series does a phenomenal job of painting a picture of gross injustice so simple that children can grasp yet so deep that adults are affected deeply emotionally. I watched Catching Fire yesterday and the first third of the movie which shows the oppression of the Districts deeply moved me. I found myself teetering between seething anger and real sadness, evidenced by that funny feeling in my nose that I get when I want to cry. I remember thinking to myself, "I hate injustice."

Then the realization hit me: This injustice isn't even real! It's a made up story that I actually paid to watch. While there are millions that are living under similar or worse oppression, we wealthy, privileged Americans pay to be entertained by a depiction of the very real hell that others live and die in. In a very real sense, we are the people of Capitol watching the rest of the world play the Hunger Games. Sure, we watch some Youtube videos about poverty and injustice from time to time and pity those poor souls that were born in unfortunate circumstances, but then we clean our guilty moral palates with a few uplifting, emotionally manipulative videos from Upworthy and have our "faith in humanity restored". We are the feasting elites of Capitol, gorging ourselves with the pleasures of wealth, only enduring the short, periodic vomit-like discomfort of remembering the suffering of the world to satisfy our nagging conscious so that we can continue to gorge ourselves with more pleasure.

While it's easy to laugh at and condemn the thoughtless extravagance of the people of Capitol - embodied by the hilariously over-the-top makeup and fashion - and their disturbing indifference to injustice, if we fail to realize that we are in many ways the people of Capitol, I think that we miss one of the few things that the Hunger Games series has to offer. Hidden in the Hunger Game's adolescent fluff is a rare, surprisingly poignant insight into what wealth might look like to the destitute poor and the oppressed. We feel Katniss and Peeta's amazement of tons of delicious food, their simultaneous disgust and anger at the reality that there are millions of starving people despite the excess of food, and their eye-opening awe of Capitol's bright lights and technology. Further reflection forces us to rethink the things we've always taken for granted, be grateful for the undeserved wealth we have, and love those less fortunate than us.

As Thanksgiving and Christmas near, these are increasingly familiar and popular themes. But if it takes TV specials and the sound of Salvation Army bells for our annual reminder of poverty and injustice, we are no better than the people of Capitol, ignoring the hungry and oppressed around us for all but one month of the year.

As with everything I post, I'm not posting this because I have it figured out. I'm a guilty yet convicted hypocrite, and these were some of my thoughts. Let's keep each other accountable.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Individual QB Rating Distribution - NFC

Links

NFC East

Tony Romo - Rank #8 (5.57 Avg)







Eli Manning - Rank #4 (5.92 Avg)





Michael Vick - Rank #17 (4.86 Avg)




Robert Griffin III - Rank #30 (3.72Avg)


NFC West

Carson Palmer - Rank #18 (4.74 Avg)


Colin Kaepernick - Rank #12 (5.29 Avg)




Russell Wilson - Rank #7 (5.58 Avg)




Sam Bradford - Rank #24 (4.37 Avg)




NFC North

Jay Cutler - Rank #11 (5.29 Avg)




Matthew Stafford - Rank #25 (4.03 Avg)




Aaron Rodgers - Rank #5 (5.88 Avg)




Christian Ponder - Rank #6 (5.86 Avg)




NFC South

Matt Ryan - Rank #9 (5.38 Avg)




Cam Newton - Rank #14(5.12 Avg)




Drew Brees - Rank #16 (4.88 Avg)




Josh Freeman - Rank #22 (4.45 Avg)




Links

Individual QB Rating Distribution - AFC

Links

AFC East

EJ Manuel - Rank #10 (5.32 Avg)







Ryan Tannehill - Rank #3 (6.02 Avg)





Tom Brady - Rank #1 (7.42 Avg)




Geno Smith - Rank #21 (4.46 Avg)


AFC West

Peyton Manning - Rank #19 (4.54 Avg)


Alex Smith - Rank #2 (6.12 Avg)




Terrell Pryor - Rank #29 (3.77 Avg)




Philip Rivers - Rank #15 (5.03 Avg)




AFC North

Joe Flacco - Rank #20 (4.52 Avg)




Andy Dalton - Rank #28 (3.86 Avg)




Brandon Weeden - Rank #23 (4.37 Avg)




Ben Roethlisberger - Rank #32 (3.11 Avg)




AFC South

Matt Schaub - Rank #31 (3.45 Avg)




Andrew Luck - Rank #13 (5.22 Avg)




Chad Henne - Rank #26 (4.02 Avg)




Jake Locker - Rank #27 (3.88 Avg)




Links

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Social Media and Loneliness Desensitization

I signed up for Instagram today, mainly to keep contact with the younger people I've met here in Fort Wayne, as it seems like the younger generation uses Instagram more than any other social media. I started the day with posting a funny status about Instagram (see below) which accumulated likes and comments throughout the morning. It was fun interacting with people on Facebook and my newly created Instagram account, and an expectation of a notification every time I checked my phone built in my heart.



Fast forward to 9 PM. I've been exercising in the gym and watching the Colts-Titans game, all the while updating my Twitter, Facebook, and checking Instagram and the Reddit game thread. It's not unusual for me to update my Twitter/Facebook a lot during games, but for some reason, finally today the thought crossed my mind, "I wish I actually had someone to talk to instead of just posting it for the world to see."

The combination of the narcissistic pleasure of broadcasting my opinions, the tickling of my ego of notifications, and the reality of living alone for the last two years led to a desensitization of loneliness, keeping me from realizing the emptiness of posting stuff on the interwebs apart from real relationships. The magic of social media kept me feeling connected, which has been a lifeline in my life and I'm extremely grateful for, but it also masked the reality of the lack of friendship in my life. No amount of upvotes, likes, or those instagram heart thingys can substitute actually watching a game with friends I love. Sure, one-liners often don't sound as awesome in person as they do written in 160 characters, but life isn't all about getting e-props and followers.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I feel the need to be with people all the time or that social media is bad in any way. I get that I won't have 24/7 companions until I'm married and that much of my experience is just the typical post-college single life, but I guess what I'm saying is that it can be easy to get lost in the excitement and shallow approval of our public personas in social networks and neglect real relationships, which are more complicated and energy-draining but rewarding. It's surprisingly easy to forget to develop our friendships in the grind of real life, as accountability, discipleship, and confession of sins are a lot more difficult than posting quick fun statuses, witty comments, and selfies.

That all said, follow me on Instagram at @fobbymaster. You won't regret it.

Sorry this awful post sucked. I'll try harder next time.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Speaking at AIV Fall Retreat

As many of you know, I've been super busy the last month with a lot of different things, so I haven't gotten the chance to post. One of those major things that took a lot of my time was preparing to speak at the AIV Fall Retreat [here's a link to my seemingly disorganized outline]. The "Fall Retreat" is what used to be the lock-in, and was held an hour and a half off campus (and only an hour from Fort Wayne!) at a sweet retreat center. I was excited and pretty well-prepared going into the talk, but as I learn every time, speaking is hard. Here are three reasons why speaking is hard and some of the lessons I learned from this experience.

1) Distractions while speaking really screw up your train of thought.

I don't know how pastors stay focused. Every turn of the head, creaking opening of the door, and slight noise from the audience triggers my "squirrel" reflex. On top of that, there's the need to suppress the mental distracted of audience members that are sleeping or not paying attention. It probably would have been much easier had the lights been bright in my face and I couldn't see any audience members, which was kind of what it was like when I spoke at Christmas Banquet. What actually helped me stay focused on what I was saying were those in the audience who were not only listening, but were actually watching me, as for some reason, the eye contact really helped (big thanks to tall Andy W, who seemed to really be paying attention and I would go back and look to for encouragement/refocusing because his eyes were fixed forwards towards me...and because he's so tall he was easy to see.

I can really see now why Pastor Jay always wanted us to be looking at him when he spoke, why teachers often told us to face forwards, and why we were often reprimanded for going to the bathroom in the middle of sermons. Sure, it was about respect and about paying attention, but I think that they probably also did it because it helped them focus and not lose their train of thought thinking about other things. My respect and amazement of Pastor Scott at Northpark has also skyrocketed, as he often preaches right through minutes of an old lady coughing. So out of love and respect for our speakers, let's try to arrive on time (and not have to walk through doors late), look at speakers, and try not to leave service unless you really have to.

2) Not knowing how you did screws with your head.

In the minutes following giving Christian talks or gospel presentations, I often think to myself, "Good Lord, I've screwed up mightily." I mentally go through all the mistakes that I made - the things I wanted to say but forgot and the things I could have said but didn't think of. After the Fall Retreat talk, I really didn't how well I connected with the audience, if the things I said were useful, and if it really benefited anyone. It's always at this point that I really get reminded of the primacy of glorifying God and a glimpse of the reality of the sovereignty of God. I'm reminded that in the end, the audience's response doesn't dictate the "success" of any talk - it's about whether or not I've been faithful to God in both preparation and delivery, and the reminder that I'm there to serve God and not man gives me some comfort. The reality of the sovereignty of God is then made very real again to me, as I have no choice but to give the result up to God, knowing that despite my mistakes and flaws, it's only God that can work in people's hearts.

3) Receiving feedback can screw with your pride.

In those times that I've prepared well, I've generally received positive feedback. And despite my self-doubt, the temptation to be prideful is deadly. I can go quickly from "I made so many mistakes: God work through it despite me" to having to remind myself, "Yes, Caleb, you are awesome and did awesome, but remember that nothing that you did means anything apart from God". Don't get me wrong. Positive feedback is great and I need it (constructive criticism would also be welcome) and it's my own heart that's the issue. Staying humble in the midst of praise is difficult, and I can't imagine the humility guys like Piper and Keller need to continually work on.